AIBU to let dd 13 have snapchat?

[Elariakopiethat]

She is very sensible, doesn't like WhatsApp much but would like use SC as it has a few more fun options and some of her friends are on it. She has been socially a little left out so am thinking of letting her. Maybe after the end of year exams.

Also, do any of you use SC yourselves or do most grown up / parents etc communicate on WhatsApp?

I am aware of some of the issues (disappearing messages) but you can also delete messages in SMS and WA. She wouldn't engage with strangers or anyone she doesn't know. She is 14 in September.

As an ex-teacher of 15+ years and a parent of a 15yo I would not and do not let them have social media. I’ve seen nothing good come of it.

Teenagers don’t have the frontal lobe development to be able to use these things responsibly. Most adults don’t either.

Reading Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation sealed my thoughts on this. There’s more to life than screens.

Probably not a good idea but if you do, there is something called "Family Centre" on there so you can see who your child is messaging (to ensure they aren't messaging strangers).

Unfortunately it's nigh on impossible to monitor the messages they do send, because they disappear, but like the previous post says, they can easily delete things from WhatsApp too.

My kids are too old now to benefit but I really hope this social media ban comes in soon so parents aren't left wondering what's the right thing to do with this..

@Elariakopiethat you say she wont engage with strangers

How do you know?

And the school kids will send all sorts of shit to each other on the basis that it will disappear

You can just say no

You don't have to wait for the government to sort it out

As a teacher I would absolutely not allow, and don’t allow, my own 13 year old to have Snapchat, or any other social media.

Snapchat in particularly is horrific for bullying - nearly every bullying issue we deal with has Snapchat involved.

Nothing good can come of it.

You'll be socially isolating her a bit if you don't allow any form of social media. It's how the vast majority of teens communicate now.

All i can say is my 13 year old has it and I absolutely loathe it. It is designed specifically to be incredibly addictive and from what I see with my son and his friends it is like crack cocaine. He literally cannot bear putting the phone down

It is much much harder to pull back once they have social media.

Far.far better the teen is bored ahd feels left out . My younger child is not having Snapchat until she leaves home!!

I also downloaded it myself just so I can see what its like and it is unbeliavke how unsafe it is.

I am constantly pinged with updates and profile information about 13 year olds who my son knows....despite not wanting this and having one 'connection'.. my son.

I have a 13 year old who I thought was very sensible, didn’t lie about social media etc
I let her have Snapchat, I kept track of who she was speaking to/adding on there, no issues for a few months
flash forward to now, I’ve just found out she set up a second secret account to talk to strangers from an online game
i wish I hadn’t let her now, even though I thought she could be trusted, teenagers lie.

Snapchat and Tik tok are so addictive to them , my 14 year old uses it and all her friends are on it , I know there was a issue with kids being bullied who didn’t use it at their last school , I honestly don’t know if the internet is a blesssing or a curse sometimes

Snapchat, tiktok and discord have the highest rates of teen grooming. All teens will lie to "protect" so called new and exciting friends especially if messages disappear, it's how they are so easily groomed. Snapchat is preferred as all those lovely naked pictures get deleted with zero evidence.

It's harmful. Enough for governments to start banning teens from it instead of waiting for parents to step up and say no.

ok, ok, I know very little about SC but we don't actually allow Tiktok and dd doesn't go on YT.

It's a no brainer and I hate how addictive Duolingo is.

Best stay away from it then.

Very helpful, thanks.

My dd did similar, it’s terrifying.

I took her phone off her for a month after I found out and she was like a different child, happier, calmer and started doing crafts and reading again.

If I had my time again I wouldn’t have given dd a phone until she was at least 14.

Same, I find my daughter so much happier without it, the phones cause so much drama with teens