To ask what counts as flirting vs polite chat?

[Pinkhiker975]

And no I don’t have a backstory that I’m going to later drip feed 😂, I’m just genuinely curious about people’s opinions.

So many couple’s arguments begin with, ‘you were flirting with her/him!’, but what actually counts as flirting for you/your DH? Banter? Jokes? Compliments? Smiling at each other a little too much?

Thanks for any input 🙂

It all depends on how secure you are in your relationship and how much you trust each other.

So many couple’s arguments begin with, ‘you were flirting with her/him!’,

who’s?

It’s a classic, age-old thing. Friends of mine, people my parents knew when they were young. Lots of arguing when one party thought their DP was ‘flirting’ with someone else.

Never experienced it
and never been aware of my friends marriages experiencing this

have you?

Can’t help you there. When single, it was often suggested that I was flirting when I know I definitely wasn’t - I was just being pleasant. If I actually was interested in someone, I would clam up completely.

I would never expect anyone to accuse me of flirting with someone. I know if I fancy them or not and if I don't it's not up for debate. It's not flirting. No matter how others take it.

No, but I’ve had female friends complaining that their boyfriend has ‘totally flirted’ with another woman in the pub/at a party.

Oh do stop trying to make the OP look silly with the wide-eyes.

As an adult you'll know full well that some couples fall out over one accusing the other of flirting.

You're trying to humiliate the OP but you're just humiliating yourself.

It’s intention.

Sometimes I’ve knowingly come across as what could be deemed flirty behaviour, but I know I have no intentions towards that person.

Other times, I don’t believe I have been flirting, I have no intentions towards them, but been accused of flirting, possibly because of the individuals own insecurities.

I know a lot of people who don’t actually flirt very well when they do fancy someone, so if you see them ‘flirting’, it’s because they feel comfortable in being charming and personable socially in a safe space.

Oh calm down

Thank you! I think that poster is just being obtuse.

THIS

THIS

Just for wondering whether someone really knows loads of couples where there has been an issue 🤷‍♀️

To answer your actual question OP, I think flirting is often more about how something is said than what is actually said a lot of the time! You can compliment someone and be flirting and you can compliment someone without flirting, it’s a tone of voice & body language thing I personally would say.

Body language, definitely. If the person is standing/sitting really close to or leaning into the other person, looking at them intently and smiling a lot, laughing/giggling a lot, subconsciously self preening i.e.touching their own face/neck/lips, or running fingers through their hair etc. These, to me, would all be signs of flirting.