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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Theatre etiquette

33 replies

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 21:41

Last night we were at a musical tribute act in a theatre. 99.9% of the audience remained seated throughout the performance. About 3 people were dancing by their seats, but they were up near the back with no one behind them. There was one very drunk woman dancing near us, but she had an empty seat behind her, although i would imagine it was very annoying for the ones sitting in the row behind, watching her jumping about, waving her arms up high.
Directly in front of me was a girl probably about 9 or 10, who was encouraged to stand up and dance by her mother, who turned round to me and asked if that was ok. I replied that no, i couldn’t see, so the girl sat down again. After another few songs, the drunk lady was encouraging everyone to dance along, at which the point the mother pushed the girl into standing, where she then remained, jigging about for the rest of the performance.
I considered complaining to the staff on the door, but as i was in the middle of a row, i would have had to disturb about 12 people (twice). I didn’t want to complain to the mother directly, partly because she already knew i couldn’t see, but i didn’t want to embarrass the girl who’d been told to dance by her mother.
So, aibu to be annoyed, or is it the norm these days to block other people’s view of the stage?

OP posts:
PoppinjayPolly · 10/04/2026 21:43

How tall was she?

tinyspiny · 10/04/2026 21:46

If it was purely a tribute band playing a set like The Illegal Eagles then I’d say it’s no different to going to see an actual band and IME practically everyone stands the entire time . It’s best to choose a seat where it won’t affect you like front row circle .

DuchessDandelion · 10/04/2026 21:47

Yanbu theatre etiquette is dying

decorationday · 10/04/2026 21:50

I think people are less considerate of others since the pandemic. We all lost social skills from the lockdowns.

cardibach · 10/04/2026 21:55

I don’t think a music gig counts as theatre even if it’s in a theatre, if you see what I mean. Different rules apply.

Denim4ever · 10/04/2026 21:55

DuchessDandelion · 10/04/2026 21:47

Yanbu theatre etiquette is dying

A concert or tribute act in a theatre is different from a play. Venue dynamics suggest how viable standing etc is. If you are at a classical concert then clapping between orchestral movements is still not done, unless at Proms.

skiprun · 10/04/2026 21:55

I took my sister last year to see a tribute band at a theatre. We were half way up, people seated in front and behind. As soon as the guy started, Everybody stood up. Which was fine for me being able to stand, my sister (and other wheelchair users) could see nothing. When we complained to the theatre manager we were told that as it was a seated ticket, people were supposed to remain seated. But he couldn’t control them standing.

eta - my sister is a wheelchair user obviously! Should have mentioned

FartyAnimal · 10/04/2026 21:56

I've se n a couple of Tribute bands and everyone was up and dancing. So yabu.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 10/04/2026 21:57

This isn't Pinter, it's a kid dancing at a concert that happens to be in a theatre. Loosen up and live a little.

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 21:59

PoppinjayPolly · 10/04/2026 21:43

How tall was she?

Tall enough that when she stood up all i could see was her waist upwards, effectively blocking my view. And because she was jigging about, i couldn’t simply lean to one side and watch round her.

OP posts:
Bilbobagginsbollox · 10/04/2026 22:00

Does a tribute band really constitute treater? I don’t think you can complain about people dancing, surprised more weren’t dancing really.

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 22:02

Interesting that a lot of people think it’s normal these days, although other than the 5 people I’ve mentioned, no one else was up and dancing. I would have been embarrassed to stand, because then I’d be blocking the people behind me. Added to which, i am somewhat disabled and not able to stand for more than a few minutes. Maybe tribute acts are out for me unless I’m lucky enough to get a front row seat.

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 10/04/2026 22:03

It’s annoying and I think she was being slightly unreasonable.

with hindsight you should have asked the mum to swap places with you so she was behind her child having her view blocked. Or asked the person in front of her daughter to also stand up!

cardibach · 10/04/2026 22:04

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 22:02

Interesting that a lot of people think it’s normal these days, although other than the 5 people I’ve mentioned, no one else was up and dancing. I would have been embarrassed to stand, because then I’d be blocking the people behind me. Added to which, i am somewhat disabled and not able to stand for more than a few minutes. Maybe tribute acts are out for me unless I’m lucky enough to get a front row seat.

It’s not a ‘These days’ thing. A band gig has always been meant lots of people standing.

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 22:06

KarmenPQZ · 10/04/2026 22:03

It’s annoying and I think she was being slightly unreasonable.

with hindsight you should have asked the mum to swap places with you so she was behind her child having her view blocked. Or asked the person in front of her daughter to also stand up!

That’s a brilliant idea. I wish i’d thought to ask the mother to swap with me. She was with another adult, so the girl wouldn’t have been sitting by herself.

OP posts:
FernandoSor · 10/04/2026 22:08

it might have been in a theatre but it wasn’t theatre, so theatre etiquette does not apply.

What was the tribute sct? If it was a pop/rock tribute it is odd that more people were not standing.

VividPinkTraybake · 10/04/2026 22:08

DuchessDandelion · 10/04/2026 21:47

Yanbu theatre etiquette is dying

But this isn't theatre, it's a tribute band

WillYouShutUp · 10/04/2026 22:11

FernandoSor · 10/04/2026 22:08

it might have been in a theatre but it wasn’t theatre, so theatre etiquette does not apply.

What was the tribute sct? If it was a pop/rock tribute it is odd that more people were not standing.

It was a Michael Jackson one, so seeing the performer was key - it wasn’t just the music, iyswim

OP posts:
JessicaBrassica · 10/04/2026 22:11

Personally I think anyone over 6' should be banned from the theatre. They stop me seeing anything. And they are so tall they sway and fidget so I have to keep leaning to one side or the other, getting up close and personal to the people say either side of me.
Alternatively they could be decapitated.

If it's a gig in a theatre, I wouldn't stand up unless the people behind me are standing. And If I wanted to dance id move to a side aisle.

But then I try not to be selfish. Or tall.

RawBloomers · 10/04/2026 22:12

I’m with those saying surprised people were seated at all. “Theatre etiquette” is for watching plays (generally regardless of the venue) not gigs. I don’t think this is something that’s changed much, when I went to gigs in theatres 40 years ago people stood and danced.

WaltzingWaters · 10/04/2026 22:16

if you were actually talking about theatre I’d say you were completely correct and that’s really unacceptable.
for a tribute act it’s nice to have people join in and get into it - like at a proper gig.

Benjii · 10/04/2026 22:18

So a concert?

TeaAndBrie · 10/04/2026 22:25

At my local theatre they have a very clear process when booking, the rows in the first half are seated, the rows from the middle to the back are standing. Everyone knows this and books accordingly.
this doesn’t apply up encores etc when it’s likely everyone may stand. They’re a theatre but apart from panto they mainly have tribute acts etc

Fidgety31 · 10/04/2026 22:31

It was the staffs failing for not doing anything .
Some will say it’s just a. Child - but that child will grow into an entitled adult .

Hillarious · 10/04/2026 22:36

Our local venue has gigs with standing and gigs with seating. When seats are provided I would expect people for the majority of the gig to be seated. I opt out of going to gigs with standing only, because I’m too short to see the stage. That is unless it’s a band I really, really want to see and I’ll spend the entire time on tiptoes.

So, please, if you’ve got a seat be mindful of the people behind you and use it. I’ll let you off for the encore, when everyone stands.