To not get my sister as much as I would have for her 40th birthday

[Tranquilo88]

i would have got her some sentimental stuff as well as the nice earrings I bought her but I’ve recently found out she’s accepted over £200k from our dad over the last few years for no good reason and said to our dad she “has no tangible relationship” with me which I was completely unaware of given she’d been at ours on Christmas Day etc and I thought she’d had a nice time. For context she’s nasty to and about our Dad, if he didn’t have any money she honestly wouldn’t stick around. They’re not even biologically related.

Shes a narcissistic sociopath and I’m dreading playing the charade again this weekend for her birthday.
what a joke. How do some people sleep at night

Just give her the earings

@Tranquilo88 it doesn’t sound as though she’d be interested in the sentimental stuff!

So that’s what you should give her! Keep the earrings for yourself.

Can you have Covid this weekend and post the earrings?

Just send her a card...
And empty card.
Or ask your df for a sub to get her a gift. If he says no you def know your worth.

Why on earth would you have bought sentimental stuff for someone you loathe and describe as a 'narcissistic sociopath'?

I can't fathom why you've bought her anything at all if that's the way you feel about her.

Did you actually read what I originally wrote?
I don't loathe her. I thought everything was fine and we had a good relationship hence why she was at my house on christmas morning.
Hence why I would buy her sentimental stuff.
Only recently did I find out she didn't feel the same way and had pretty much conned my dad out of a huge sum of money.
TAKE YOUR 'CAN'T FATHOM'-ING ELSEWHERE

How did you find out she has been given all that money & why has she been given such a huge sum & presumably you have had nothing? I don’t think she is treating you well tbh if you hosted her at Christmas & now she is making out you’re not close.

Surely you don't give her anything. She has either stolen or conned your dad out of £200k and has told your dad that she doesn't have a relationship with you. I wouldn't even bother with a card.

Why did your dad give her all that money? Is he vulnerable?

It’s so complicated to explain. It sounds far fetched but unfortunately it’s real life.
He has a guilt complex because he promised my mum he’d look after my sister (because she’s not biologically his it’s like he feels he has more to prove).
My sister pleads poverty all the time, when really she should just work full time like most of us have to. My dad has given her money to keep her afloat, I was aware of a bit of money but not that much.
it now makes sense how she’s been able to afford Botox, fancy window shutters, Invisalign, a puppy, holidays, new clothes all the time, Chanel earrings.

Our mum died by suicide so I don’t feel I can cut contact with my sister out of fear she’d do the same. She can’t face being told the truth about how she behaves

You’re being weirdly aggressive in response to a perfectly reasonable question.

@Tranquilo88 I’m very sorry for yours and your sister’s loss.

It’s admirable that your DF is keeping to his word (sort-of), at least your DSis is ‘afloat’, but he has to realise that’s all he is doing. If he cut-off the money fully, she’d sink! By keeping her ‘afloat’ it’s actually enabling her to remain ‘dependent’ on others forever. That is not truly supporting her, or actually helping her long-term and it just isn’t the right thing to do. She’ll forever be ‘cup-in-hand’, with a ‘feel sorry for me attitude’ to get what she wants. It’s exhausting for everyone around her.

If he really wants to look-after her, she needs to be told to get herself to work and fund her own life. If she’s working hard (full-time) by all means he could help her financially too, but she needs to understand the value of money and that only comes from earning it yourself.

If your DF is not old and frail, your anger should be towards him for not teaching her right from wrong. He should not be letting her run rings around him and having his heart-strings pulled by a grown woman who by now should be looking after herself.

Have words with him. Don’t let him be taken for a fool anymore.

They didn't read the op very closely. I'm kinda with op here.

@Tranquilo88 what @ModestlyPrudent said.