AIBU to worry about elderly relative travelling to Ireland without insurance?

[PlayingGracesByMyself]

Have been advised by Mumsnet to start a new thread using the correct thread title.

Original Post:

Elderly relative (mid 80s) resident in UK with complex health problems - heart, blood pressure, very recent stroke. All being well managed through complex cocktail of medications and they are actually brighter than they have been for ages.

Determined to accompany their friends on a 5 day coach trip to Dublin and Cork. Insurance not looking possible though we will keep trying.

Family feel strongly that they should go and the benefits outweigh the risks. They will be covered for any hospital treatment while they are there.

So the risks are basically their friends having to fend any initial health problems , one of us having to fly out to support them if there is any serious issue, managing a long stay in a hospital outside the UK and at the worst repatriation.

I feel it's endearingly optimistic but a bit bonkers. Everyone eise thinks it's their life so their decision. Obviously we can't stop them but we could try to persuade them if we thought it was really unwise.

Any thoughts?

YABU - YOLO, encourage them to go for it
YANBU - could end in (expensive) tears

Update

The original thread had useful feedback on potential insurance for complex health needs.

When they looked a few weeks ago they were still being investigated but now have full diagnosis so we will try again and hope we can get some insurance, even if it is expensive.

They will be covered for hospital treatment under the reciprocal health care agreement. We will support them to apply for an EHIC. So the main risk is having a protracted illness away from home. This would potentially involve one of us going out to stay with them, or expensive medical repatriation. Posters quoted £60K - £80K, which would pretty much wipe out their savings.

They have form for being very positive and optimistic, which is great, but also for assuming someone else will sort things out if it all goes wrong. Which we would end up doing because we care about them and don't want them to be alone and afraid in another country.

Original thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5514924-aibu-to-worry-about-elderly-relative-travelling-to-eire-without-insurance?page=6&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I think one of my main concerns would be not the 'trip' part but the 'coach' part. If it was a thrombotic stroke they may be at elevated risk of other thrombosis - and sitting for hours in a coach is a good way to get that.

Are they now on blood thinners? Can they ask their GP or consultant about coach travel?

Great suggestion. They are absolutely terrified of having another stroke at the same time as telling us it definitely won't happen. They are on blood thinners as part of a medication package which has massively reduced their symptoms. They did a day coach trip last week and were absolutely exhausted so I think this is very ambitious indeed. But that's a very helpful specific question for their GP.

I agree the coach journey is the bit that would concern me the most. However, I made a similar decision about travel with a sick child (no insurer would cover them) and these were the questions I asked myself:

• how likely is it they would become ill enough to require hospital treatment (unlikely, confirmed by their Dr)
• if something did happen, were specialist hospitals nearby/easy to get to (yes)
• would medical care be the same or better than the UK (yes, better)
• if medical care were needed, would the Drs speak the same language as me (yes)
• could I pay out of pocket for treatment costs (yes)

If your relative and their support network can answer the above in a way that you're all comfortable with, then I would say, encourage your elderly relative to go for it. Life is for living; not sitting in an armchair, trying to extend a life you do nothing with.

If you haven't already, you can contact BIBA to ask for insurers that may be more likely to cover your relative.

https://www.biba.org.uk/contact/

@C152 , thanks, this is so clear and helpful. It's exactly what I was hoping for when I posted the thread.

For us, the answers would be

• How likely is it they would become ill enough to require hospital treatment (not unlikely, could go either way)
• If something did happen, were specialist hospitals nearby/easy to get to (yes)
• would medical care be the same or better than the UK (yes, possibly better)
• if medical care were needed, would the Drs speak the same language as me (yes)
• could I pay out of pocket for treatment costs (they could afford repatriation but it could make a big dent in their relatively modest savings)

So on that basis, it's their risk to take. We would be prepared to go out at short notice to help and the biggest risk is to their own savings.

We'll talk to the GP about coach travel and continue to explore insurance. It may be that they will decide it's too much for them and pull out anyway.

Thanks so much to everyone who's made positive suggestions on both this and the original thread.

I think you have two issues here OP, one is the insurance itself and I think given what you said about there being now a diagnosis, it should be insurable, the cost of course could be extortionate and that could be the deciding factor in whether your relative gets insurance

The second issue is that assuming she gets insurance, how to cope with general day to day 'sickness' that isnt anything that might need actual medical care and intervention for, if that makes sense. Because I dont think the issue is whether medical care is needed and whethter its good enough (assuming they are insured of course), its whether they can cope with the day to day rigours of a holiday without affecting the trip and the other travellers

Or of course, if they choose not to insure due to the cost, then you have the risk of whether the health card would pay enough for treatment

What is their actual response when you put all those things to them?

@likelysuspect thanks for that. They were on a similar trip last year and when it was all a bit much they got an expensive taxi back to the hotel. They will be with good, caring friends but I'd say there's a significant chance of the friends' trip being affected by some kind of incident. They know this but just want to believe it will all be fine.

I don't think there's any limit on the hospital care they are entitled to, my understanding is that it's a like for like swap with the NHS.

We have a couple of months before the trip so will pursue insurance, see how they get on and whether they have any doubts as it gets nearer, and talk about it nearer the time. It's possible I could pay to accompany them on the trip myself if we decide that's the best way forward.