To purchase a buggy that doesn’t parent face

[Meredithwho]

I am currently 5 months pregnant and am trying to decide between buggy’s. We need something all terrain, as we do a lot of dog walking in the woods, beach walks etc. I also run quite a bit, although I do not know currently if I will want to run with a buggy and baby or keep it as something for me.

Currently stuck between:

Silver Cross Cove or Reef 2
OR
Thule Urban Glide 3

Size is not an issue. Both are actually quite lightweight to push. The advantage to the Thule is that is is running buggy as well as being able to be used as our every day buggy but the big thing that I am not sure about is that it doesn’t parent face once you stop using the car seat or bassinet.

Do I

a) IANBU: just get the Thule as parent facing doesn’t matter anyway, and may as well have one buggy that does everyday and running

or

b) AIBU: get a conventional buggy/travel system that does parent face, and then potentially get a separate running buggy later if I need one?

They don't get bounced around, they have big air-filled tyres and suspension.

And I agree that you don't have to coo at your baby constantly, often they're in the pram because you want them to nap there.

I had my first in lockdown so most of her daytime naps were also my daily walk. A totally waterproof cover is also very useful, we did our daily pram nap in all weathers even driving rain.

I got both mine on eBay so didn't feel too bad about getting a second. First one I replaced because it didn't parent face and DS definitely likes to see me and chat. 13mo and he's still very happy facing me with our Bugaboo cameleon, though it switches round at least.

I still remember how sad I was when my "not nephews" stopped carer facing in the pushchair. They were about two when they got turned around. We had loads of fun outings with me chatting nonsense to them. They are now lovely young adults and I still talk nonsense to (?at) them but mostly via WhatsApp. Even more impressively I usually get a reply. So don't discount the joy that parent facing can bring.

Also a cautionary tale - one of my friends had a running buggy (out'n'about nipper) it was a total pig to push in town because of the fixed front wheel compared to the bugaboos that most others had (I spent a lot of time with friends and their kids in my early thirties pushing various buggies). So do think about how you are going to use it. We all lived in an urban area and predominantly walked within the local area to shops, toddler groups, the park etc so the buggy was the main mode of transport.

Because I don’t want to buy 2 buggy’s if I don’t need to?? Both options I’ve mentioned have a bassinet attachment until they can sit up. I obviously won’t be running with a baby in the bassinet 🙄

Thank you - the Thule has a lockable front wheel and is really easy to manoeuvre so I don’t think we will have that issue. I also don’t ever really walk in urban areas so shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

I think it is quite child dependent - they have their own preferences that you cannot predict!

My DC1 absolutely hated the bassinet and would scream his head off every time I put him in it, so I used the sling for him. He was then absolutely fine in the pram once he could sit up, but only if it was parent-facing - he was very needy and just wanted to be able to see me.

My DC2 was also a bassinet hater but then much preferred being world-facing in the pram.

I didn’t really consider it before buying the pram but was really grateful to have the option - fortunately we had one that could easily swap in both directions. One of my friends had a yo-yo which can only world-face from 6 months and her child didn’t like it either, so she ended up having to get a second pram.

Second hand prams are cheap and usually loads available in good condition so you don’t necessarily need to make final decision now. People often end up with more than one pram for different circumstances.

I see. So because you've seen a five second snapshot of someone's day as a parent, you feel somehow qualified to make a decision on their parenting and on their development?

This patent could have spent all morning singing, reading and talking to their child. They could be on their way to a music or story baby group. Maybe they've had a really difficult morning and need some time on their phone to decompress? Maybe they just want a minute to themselves? Maybe they are on their phone arranging playdates or speaking to their own friends or doing important admin.

There are lots of opportunities throughout a day for babies to be engaged to and learn language. Furthermore more babies don't need a continual narrative 24/7. Quiet time to absorb things is beneficial to them.

We loved our parent facing pushchair with DC 2&3, wasn't a thing when we had DC1. I'm surprised so few here see it as a valuable thing.

Once they are out of the bassinet at about 6 months old and have reasonable head control, they are ready to be world-facing.

Having said that, I wasn't ready for my little one to be world-facing that young 😅I wanted to be able to see and check on him.

You might surprise yourself by how important that feels to you, or you might not mind. A friend from my NCT group was world-facing from 6 months, but her baby was quite advanced and already able to sit up independently by then!

Personally, I found it quite nice to have one that I could just detach and turn around when we felt ready.

You could always compromise by getting a cheap, second-hand one from FB marketplace that is parent-facing, and then get the one you really want for when they are a bit older.

I used the Nipper with my eldest and he was child facing from 4m as he outgrew the carrycot. With my 2nd I've ended up getting a 2nd hand stroller which does parent facing as baby wasn't enjoying world facing and found it too overwhelming. I'll go back to the Nipper when she's a bit bigger

We have the urban glide. It's brilliant, I love it. It dealt with the snow wonderfully and it's so stable I once ran home 5km with a tripp trapp high chair from Facebook balanced on the handle bars!

However, do you have a lot of storage space? It barely folds and I wouldn't want to try to get it in the boot, especially muddy. It's a nightmare in shops. It may have a free wheel but it's long, wide and steers like a pig. Forget about buses. It can't do stiles or very rough or steep offroad, so we have a back pack for walking. We actually have 2 end member prams: the thule adventure pram and a yoyo that we use everyday. The yoyo is way better in shops, cars, trains, buses, houses and planes. Neither are rear facing but you really don't need it. By 8 months only potato babies aren't desperate to see what's happening. You can still see and talk to them easily.

It really isn't out of the shop, sorry! See my previous post. I do love it though

I had muppet friends who tried to use a thule chariot as their only pram though, so everything's relative!

It's great to have the parent facing option if you can. I'd only go for one that isn't parent facing if you have absolutely no other option i.e. if the only suitable all terrain buggy faces out then go for that because it's what you need. If you can possibly get one that is all terrain AND parent faces (which I think you can) then go for that.

I forgot to add, both the yoyo & thule have extra maxi cosi/cybex car seat adaptors, so you can use the same car seat with both if you need a travel system. The adaptors are extortionate though!

by 8 months only potato babies aren't desperate to see what's happening

@Paaseitjes unneccessarily rude and dumb comment. One of my children didn’t like forward facing and certainly wasn’t a “potato baby”. A baby preferring to see their parent (while also being able to see what’s happening) has no bearing on their intelligence or personality.

Parent-facing in the buggy is far, far better for children than world facing. It encourages conversation as you can both hear and see each other and you can share interests (e.g pointing). My 2yr old is in a world facing stroller now because it's so much lighter to push up and down hills but we both get frustrated when he's trying to tell me something and I have to stop and walk around to understand him.

There's so suggestion that babies are exposed to less pollution when parent facing (they tend to sit higher up and are not facing directly into car exhausts) and that stress levels are lower (based on indicators like being more likely to fall asleep).

I don't know why you'd base your decision around the running element when you don't even know if you want to take the buggy with you.

Personally I wouldn't have wanted one that didn't parent-face. It's not just the ability to easily chat and play with them, and point things out to them as you go, though that is lovely too - it was the small practical details like being able to see when their hat has slipped right down over their eyes and needs adjusting, or when they've successfully pulled a mitten off and are about to drop it under the wheels.

As an aside, I've never understood why people talk about the baby wanting to see the world as opposed to only seeing your face. It's like sitting backwards on a train - they still get a perfectly good view of what's going on around them and are able to have their curiosity satisfied, even if they are sitting backwards. Ime it's not sitting parent-facing that annoys most babies, it's that tricky period around 4-6 months or so when it's ideally better for them to lie flat still but they hate it and want to see out/be close to you. We resorted to slings for that stage as much as possible!

I vote for reversible handles. Dd would love to face outward but if she got tired or overwhelmed on a long day out, facing Mummy and seeing only me was a comfort to her poor little brain and relaxed her.

It is very hard making decisions at this point because the little bugger isn’t here to tell you it’s likes and dislikes. You only find out after you have spent good money in the good faith you have done the right thing …

Rubbish !!
phone addiction has majorly affected how parents and children interact and how kids develop -
the phone helps the parent’s mental health is a poor excuse and sounds like the addict saying about the bottle “but it helps me cope”

I would get both or one with the option to do both. Realistically, you will not be doing rough terrain walks or jogging with a tiny baby with no head support, so that’s going to be 6 months out anyway.

We had a ‘town’ pushchair that parent faced and an all terrain running buggy for everything else. In the early months, maybe til 7-9 months, we used a carrier or sling for walks anyway. I would prioritise what you need for now and change/upgrade as baby grows.

But you have absolutely no idea if the person on their phone pushing a buggy is a "phone addict". You've no idea about the rest of a person's interaction throughout the day with their child.

Whether we like it or not, most moden life is conducted through a phone. Emails, speaking to friends and family, banking, paying bills. Sometimes you have to get these done while in the presence of your child. Sometimes parents absolutely exhaust themselves to this modern idea that we have to be perfect parents and narrating and entertaining our children 24/7 a day that maybe a five minute scroll is what they need to stay sane.

I think you probably have a similar lifestyle to me, OP, in that I live in a village surrounded by fields, and rarely walk with my babies in the city. I also like to run, though don't usually do so with DC2 (DC1 would only nap in motion, so it was a great time to squeeze some exercise in, DC2 only naps in the cot). So I would ignore posters saying 'you won't be doing rough terrain walks' - most buggy wheels are shit on gravel, mud, sand and snow, and you already know you need multi terrain for where you live. In my village, the pavements are also a bit shit, and we found the running buggy with its huge wheels much easier for getting on and off kerbs, with minimal bumping for the baby. In fact, taking c-section recovery into account, that was one of the main things that made us switch to the running buggy as our main pram.

PP who says the Thule is very big and (esp) long is right though. If money had been no object, and based on our experience with DC1, I'd still have chosen it for DC2. But it would be hard to take into eg a small cafe, or fit through a kissing gate. You may still end up getting more than one, possibly the Thule and something more compact, in which case I recommend the Mountain Buggy Swift.

I am not just basing it on the running element, however the Thule is widely known as a very capable all terrain buggy whereas the Silver Cross’s are more marketed as urban with the ability to go off terrain if required. Also, if I do decide to run with the buggy it would be nice not to have to buy a second!!

This is really helpful, thank you. I did think it was quite long when I was testing it in the shop but it is the first three wheeled one I’ve tried so I wasn’t sure if this is more normal for three wheelers! I’m glad you would get it again though! Perhaps I will end up having it as the second buggy rather than the only one. Thank you for your help!