Husband messaging pics to female colleague

[Ajb888]

Is this weird? On a family day out to the cinema and catch my husband texting pics of my kids to a woman in his team at work? I know he is friendly with her as well as being I his team but is that a bit weird? Plenty of male colleagues I’m friends with but would never send pics of the kids while we’re on family day out

Not really. They won’t send family pics or offload about their marriage woes to Sean in IT.

It is always some woman.

How trite is it of you to "immediately discount" anyone else's opinion. LOL

Of course they would. I'm sorry you haven't met any men who have friendships with other men

Because it's based in a catchphrase not an actual fact, yip and proud of it

No it's based on an opinion and my own experience. It's just an opinion. You can jog on love

But it's wrong because men constantly talk about their life to other men. But sure I'll jog on, but not without making the point that just because it fits on a tea towel doesn't mean it's an universal truth

Wow thanks for all the messages, and dispute
yes theyre his kids
cinema was pre booked for Easter hols before we knew the weather
pic was of daughter having lunch in the super Mario costume she was wearing
yes I’m suspicious because our relationship is on the rocks and I’m looking for reasons why he’s been an arse for six months and very vacant and on his phone a LOT
this woman lives in Canada, they’re friends. He’s also her boss.

Could be innocent, could be another woman under the same name.
was just interested to hear opinions

Our work whatsapp contains all sorts - days out, partially renovated bathrooms, particularly nice lunches. One colleague sent us a photo of her dog today. Male colleague occasionally sends photos of his kids. It's cute.

I would quite literally drop kick him out… SIMPLE AS! Total disrespect…

We're quite a small company, only 13 of us. We quite often share pictures of family days out and stuff on the whatsapp group. I can think of a few colleagues who have chats with each other outside of the group as well. One male and female colleague in particular have a very good friendship and would definately share pics of their kids. Nothing untoward going on at all, and partners know about them. His wife is currently pregnant and the female colleague is babysitter for their older son whenever ultrasound appointments happen etc.

yes I’m suspicious because our relationship is on the rocks and I’m looking for reasons why he’s been an arse for six months and very vacant and on his phone a LOT

yup, thought this would be the backdrop

Certain things about your update are reassuring to be honest.

She probably looked cute/funny in the costume, so that might be a reason to send it, especially if they had perhaps chatted about the film you were all going to see beforehand, for example.

And if she lives in Canada it's impossible he is having it off with her! Unless they make do with phone sex I guess.....

Him being off with you recently is a worry, and clearly there are issues in the marriage, but I wouldn't necessarily think this colleague is ay the root of them.

Does he have other female friends he messages, that you know of? What are those friendships like?

The photo thing sounds fine - you said she also had children so no doubt they discussed weekend plans including the movie and he's sent a photo of your daughter in costume. All seems pretty normal.

The super Mario changes it, he probably mentioned at work that they were doing this and they had said send me a picture and he remembered at that point in time. This particular scenario doesn’t sound dodgy to me

Probably innocent but keep your guard up.

Umm...yes they do. I know plenty of men at work who are friends with their colleagues of both sexes, would meet outside of work and send pics.

I sometimes wonder if family men will send a photo of kids/wife/family just to make absolutely certain the woman he’s messaging doesn’t get the wrong idea at all? It’s fine for men and women to be friends and I guess it’s kind of sweet he wants to make sure no lines are crossed (if that’s why).

The update about the cute costume and his colleague living in a different country make the whole even less innocuous. I was talking to the male buyer at one of our customers last week, not long back from Paternity leave. I asked him if he had any baby photos he was happy to share, as I’d love to see the baby. He sent a few across. All perfectly innocent, I’ve never met him and unlikely ever will, but he seems like a nice bloke so I wanted to see the baby if he was ok with that. I would feel awful if his wife saw that he’d sent the photos (business email to be clear, not phone) and she was upset or worried about it.

The info about your marriage though, I can see why you’re worried. He’s spending time talking to another woman instead of focusing on fixing things at home. Have you asked him if he would be prepared to try couples counselling?

My ex had picture of me and the DCs on n his desk. Made no difference. He still shagged his colleagues.

Really sorry to hear that. I have no doubt many won’t give a shit. But I do genuinely think that if a man isn’t interested and is worried the woman might be, he’s more likely to mention the wife and kids as a way to see if that’s what’s happening (I.e. if she doesn’t change behaviour, maybe he read it wrong). I remember a post on here where a woman was confused why a colleague she’d been chatting with suddenly went radio silent after she mentioned something about her husband - her friend had told her it meant he was taking it as code to back off so she wanted to ask MN if that was right. The overwhelming majority of users said mentioning your other half/kids was code for back off please!