AIBU to use inheritance to go part time and avoid burnout?

[redshirts]

I'm 27, single and own my house (with a mortgage). I work full time and am doing a part time course to retrain. I'm finding keeping on top of all that comes home ownership, a reasonably full on job and studying to be overwhelming at times. I have recently inherited £35k, some of which I will put towards my course fees. WIBU to consider using some of the money to go part time to 4 days per week until my course is finished next June? Or how do I avoid burnout? I don't have a lot of family support unfortunately.

All the people who are saying you should be able to juggle everything - sod that! If you can afford to do it, do it. Why does everyone think everyone else should be pushing themselves to breaking point, when they have another option? OP is retraining which is including a course. This is SO HARD to do alongside working full time! The course will assumingly lead to a career change which will be positive when it comes to future income, so if a short term loss of income (replaced by the inheritance) makes this easier, then it's a fantastic investment into her future!

Saying god help her when she has kids is just not helpful in the slightest.

I do agree with what you’re saying. But personally my mental health and health was worse in my 20s - terrible in fact and had I not prioritised that then, I wouldn’t be here now.

I am sure people will think that, in your 40s with no children, you should still be working full time too. (This is absolutely not a criticism from me as I’m in my 40s with no kids and can’t wait to cut down to part time.). But it’s all relative, a 70 year old might have the same comparisons to you, than you have to the OP in her 20s.

We get one life and have to live with our decisions.

Are you prone to burnout, op (adhd/ autism)?

Ultimately it's your money so you get to decide how to use it. I'd be inclined if I'd had bouts of burnout, yes.

Honestly this is a properly boasty arrogant post. Well done you but you have no idea of this posters life before now amd how privileged your own was if you were going on about buying your first horse.

I was thrown out by miserable parents who just didnt want to bother supporting their kids. I am a successful person, grafted and did very well for myself but my start was so much harder than yours with a lot of family stress to cope with and no help. Maybe the OP had a lot on her plate before this too.

How much is your retraining in terms of hours and time ? Over how long a period.
Would you be able to up your hours to full time again.
I did part time once and wished I had not. It has affected my state pension contributions. I was also doing a full time job in part time hours ! So think very carefully.
If you can avoid it do.
The house shouldn’t take up too much of your time ? Or are you in a doer upper.
There is a lot of information missing OP. To be able to give advice you need to expand on detail a bit.

No. I wouldn’t. I don’t think that’s a particularly good use of a lump sum inheritance unless you have specific health issues you haven’t mentioned. It’s only for a year.

It’s your money to do what you want with but honestly I think it’s a bit of a waste.

I was working FT, studying in the evening and a single parent.
It was hard but I got through it.

Surely you can just use your evenings and weekends to study as you don’t have anything else that you need to do.

Is your training course term time only?
When did you start it?

I would definitely give it a few months as some course have periods of intensity and then cool off.

Its your money and you should not feel guilty for doing what you want but if it was me, I’d rather use that money for a couple of holidays and to keep some savings if I need to do home repairs or new car etc.

I’m sorry op, but take a weeks leave and get back into it is the better plan. 27 is the perfect age for just digging in on the career and paying off house/investing for the future, you don’t regret that when you’re juggling children and work in 10 years, and you look back and think wow I had so much time. I am another one who can’t see what family support anyone would expect in your situation. I was working madly, renovating and studying at 27, the home ownership made our family home purchase down the track possible.

Hi OP,

I'm not sure why you're taking such a bashing. Personally, I am (almost perpetually) single and bought my flat at 26, outside the UK and away from practical family support. Frankly, at times it is overwhelming to be solely responsible for everything. Well done for getting yourself on the property ladder and for handling everything so well so far.

I got taken by surprise a number of times by the responsibilities and costs of home ownership, and while I'd not swap my independence and eventual stability for anything, there were times where it was just bloody exhausting. My single friends and I say that something has to give, no full-time employed adult can have all of the following at the same time: a full fridge, a clean flat, an empty laundry basket. Plus you're studying, which takes extra time and focus.

Ignore PP saying "I had kids at your age", your feelings are valid, and well done for recognising them and trying to to take steps to avoid some sort of collapse/crisis/whatever burnout looks like for you.

You don't say what you work in and if going part time would have any consequences on your current position of chances of progression. However, I am inclined to side with some of the wiser PP: yours 20s and 30s are the time to really establish yourself professionally, and 35k is quite the nest egg to rebuild.

Unless you are truly wiped out by the job and simultaneous study, I think the suggestions of augmenting your budget for support are a good idea. You should figure out what is causing you the most stress or seems the most unnecessary use of your time, and use some of the money to shove it off your plate (cleaning, food delivery services or meal prep, washing/ironing, house maintenance).

As someone who hates food shopping and meal prep, I regularly use services like Hello Fresh. Recently, on a task rabbit type site, I have been surprised to discover how many people are willing to prepare home cooked food for a reasonable price.

Lastly, think about scheduling some proper downtime. When overwhelmed, we forget to rest and it just feeds the cycle. Try to set aside some real recovery time for yourself (digital detox day, solo sport, a spa treatment, take yourself for a long lunch).

It is ok to struggle, you probably have a better handle on things than you realise, and you will find solutions. Good luck!

I still do suffer with depression and anxiety

I just don't take medication any more, largely because it didn't stop me having two nervous breakdowns and I have a lot of issues dealing with the doctor

It's a lot better now than it was, but some of that is circumstances and frankly being older means I'm closer to death! Which is a plus. I no longer have to think about suicide every day.

I didn't tell anyone about my situation unless I really had to, it was 100% something to be ashamed of. So I don't really know what people would have said to me with the context. But I was often told to toughen up yes. I really wish I had because I would probably be in a much better financial position now. I'm not in a bad one, but I could always do with more. Got a very large dental Bills coming up too.

I don't see what I said as being tough love and I'm probably of the age where it was just a normal thing to say. It wouldn't have caused offence to anyone. Being told to pull myself together was certainly a feature of childhood. Probably did me a lot of good?

I actually do mean it kindly. It's not a good thing to have 24/7 access to this kind of information.

people do need to protect themselves. Anyone who is selling social media and technology isn't really doing you any good.

I wouldn’t in all honesty but would look at whether you can negotiate some study leave or look at compressing hours to a 9 day fortnight to give you a bit of a break. I worry that you’d effectively fritter the inheritance by going part time at this point rather than maximising it to help your future self.

Studying on top of work is challenging. The house maintenance shouldn’t be so I’d look at how to reduce down any mental load from that.

It is really interesting to read some of these replies

Because when I was working full-time and studying, and had been lucky enough to buy a little flat, I can't imagine anyone would've sympathised if I said it was too much

and it was my choice.

@redshirts it's absolutely your choice to do what you want with your money

But just to reiterate what I said originally... is burn out something you are actually prone to ? Or is it just something you're worried about because you hear a lot of it? As I say, the amount of negative talk around even concerns me - if you knew what a raging pessimist I am, that would give you some context!

I went to Vegas on my 40th birthday because I was amazed I was still alive! And I was happy which was awesome! And well worth celebrating.

So if you are fit and well and mentally well and you can invest that money somewhere else, personally that's what I would do - you've asked for advice so that's mine

I hope things work out for you, whatever you do.

I’m sorry to hear you still suffer from it. I suffer from it myself and it’s a tricky one to handle.