AIBU to wonder how twins’ closeness changes in adult life?

[DoubleWobble]

Pregnant with twins. None in the family. I’ve only known a few sets of twins but both sets of identical twins that I knew as a child were very, very close, and a little bit insular. I don’t know any twins now.

How have the twins you knew ended up as adults?

My Uncles are twins in their 80s. They still look exactly the same!
Sometimes one of them gets a funny sense and will call the other one and he’ll say something (bad) has happened - earlier things like car prangs, pet deaths and that sort of thing but later on health things like cancer diagnosis, they have a spider sense for each other somehow.
They don’t share hobbies or have similar careers but seem very close, mainly without talking much!

My identical twins are 7 and are close.
A relative doesn’t get on with her identical twins and they rarely speak.

I have a twin, we aren't close and are very different people. Growing up, I was much closer to my other sibling.

It's like every other sibling relationship, some are close and some aren't. Maybe because I am a twin and don't know any different, but I don't get the mad fascination people have us as if we are somehow one mass collective unit and it certainly grinds my gears the assumptions made we must have all have some special bond. Of course some do but so do other siblings of different ages.

It's literally just two individual siblings born on the same day. Or that's how I've always felt about it.

Why would they need to do the same hobbies? Your twins are individual people in their own right. They shouldn't be made to do everything together and if one wants to do one hobbies and the other doesn't then let them.

You wouldn't be having this same thoughts if they were a year apart.

Maybe because I was the opposite sex but actually it should just be the same, my parents were very clear we were to be in different classes at school and to be treated as individuals. It's the best thing they did and I'm so glad we were never forced to do everything together because we were twins.

My SILs are identical twins, now in their 60s. My dh has always felt a bit excluded from their relationship. As a child SILs shared a room, he had to sleep lonely on his own (of course his parents also shared a room, so he felt like the odd one out with no-one to share with). The twins had shared friends, shared secrets, went to Brownies and Guides together, giggled together. He went to Scouts but had no one who was interested in his woodcraft badge.

As older adults, everyone is cordial, get on OK, but I also know that sometimes I am the butt of 'the girls' private jokes and humour (the nutty SILwho goes to yoga...)

Both SILs were single into their 40's. I imagine if either of them had met a partner earlier, or if they'd had children, the dynamic might have been different. But despite having husbands/partners now, the twin bond is the primary bond in their lives. Their wills leave their money to each other, not to their husband/partner.

My sisters are twins. They are very different, apart from physically, from each other, and aren’t close at all. They haven’t been since their teens, and are now in their mid-60s, so I do t suppose that will change.

Ex dh and his twin haven't spoken for 20 years

I have boy/girl twins.

they were in the same class at secondary and the teacher did not realise they were twins - they don’t look alike at all.

they are not close as adults. One twin has an autoimmune disease plus autism and adhd and the other is neurotypical.