AIBU to think two weekly football nights is too much?

[KerriT]

DH plays football every Tuesday so is out for 2 hours from around 7.30-9.30. He now intends to start playing on Thursday’s too around the same hours.

Is it me or is this taking the mick a bit, considering we have a 2 year old? Thoughts welcome…

If he would be around and an engaged and helpful parent the other 5 nights a week, then no I don’t think it’s taking the mick

When does the 2 year old go to bed?

Between 8 and 9

What about you OP? Do you get nights off too?

Do you have time to pursue your interests, OP? I don’t think 4 hours a week is taking the piss as long as you get some time to yourself too.

Certainly pushing it. He should at least understand that he's pushing it and not be expecting a pub night, a staying late at work night and a bit more.

Do you get time to do your own thing two evenings ? We like going to the gym / coffee or a drink with a friend . We take turns. It’s good to have your own time as a parent to socialise or play a sport , or just have a lovely long bath with a good book !

Its funny how many men ramp up their hobbies when they start families

2 hours, 2 nights a week is not too much at all as long as he is a fully engaged parent for the other 5 nights.

Hopefully you get some time to do your own thing also during the week while he has your child/puts them to bed etc....

You need two hobby nights a week as well. Think about what you want to do, a regular sport or exercise, some kind of evening class or nights out with friends, and start doing it.

I think it’s okay so long as you also are free to go out as you please on any of the remaining 5 nights in the week.
your 2 year old will be asleep for most of the time leaving you free to do what you want.

Doesn’t seem excessive, DH does most nights between CrossFit and football. I do mornings so it’s even (and I don’t like training at night so don’t mind being the one doing dinners and sorting DC)

their bedtime is quite late. I would expect the hours he wants to be out to be post bedtime and therefore ok

Not, as long as you also have two nights to do what you want in. Solo leisure is crucial with a demanding small child.

When I met my DH, he played football twice a week Saturday and Sunday and also trained twice a week of an evening, when we started living together he dropped one of the matches and was gone for 3 hours at the most. I have friends whose DH play golf and are gone all day and well into the evening, so I’m glad my DH played football, he worked hard at a manual job, was great with DC, but still needed to do something he loved, I would never have asked him to stop.

What does he do at the weekend ? Does he do other weeknight activities ?

I wouldn't have a problem with that. But when mine were 2 they were in bed by 7.30! I would quite like having a couple of evenings to myself ☺️

Rather than resenting him, why not get out yourself on other evenings? Join a yoga class or gym or sports team and have some fun yourself!

If you only have one child, you only need one parent for bedtime so its fine, but you should get a couple of nights to yourself/his turn doing bedtime as well.

9 is late for a 2yr

I would try for a 7pm bedtime and maybe one of the nights dh puts to bed before he goes

does he do bedtime any of the other 5 nights?

2hrs for 2 nights isn’t that bad as long as isn’t then to the pub for another 2hrs

make sure you get some time out wit friends or even a coffee /book somewhere

It depends. Do you get four hours a week child-free for yourself and your hobbies ?

On the face of it, that's fine. We have one DC and have always alternated doing bedtime.