AIBU to consider giving up wine because of post-drinking anxiety

[PinkLemonade44]

I know “hangxiety” is a real thing, and I’ve had about 15 years of genuinely fun times drinking/nights out. But there have also been plenty of occasions where I’ve had too much and can barely remember parts of the night, which then leaves me feeling really anxious for days afterwards.
I don’t think I’ve ever been rude or aggressive - no one has ever said that to me- but I still end up worrying and replaying things in my head and I'm sure I've overshared, and I can be really hard on myself about it.
I do enjoy having a drink to relax, but I struggle to recognise when I’ve had enough. It’s starting to take the enjoyment out of social occasions, and I’m beginning to wonder if I should just stop drinking wine altogether and maybe stick to something like the occasional G&T instead. I don't know if just wine is the issue, but it definitely seems to make me drunk quicker and I forget to have water alongside it.
Any advice would be really appreciated.

Wine is lethal for me. I drink it with meals only these days, no more than two glasses. For nights out I drink spirits or cider.

I hate the not remembering, the being sick next day, all of what you've described. It's not worth it.

I’m planning on doing the same. I’ve not had a drink since NYE, I’ve been part of a separate thread on here for 100 days alcohol free, and it’s given me time to think about my drinking. I think wine is a problem for me, it’s too easy to fill the glass and, yes, every ‘black out’ experience has been after wine.

I’ve found it’s had much more effect since being in perimenopause. Going forward I’m going to stick to the odd beer/G&T I think, and see how it feels.

I am now a beer drinker only and never 2 days in a row.

YANBU. In fact, I'd say you were being very wise.

I only drink wine with food when im out or a few glasses at home at the weekend, I had an experience a few years ago where I was absolutely legless on a night out i felt fine till I wasn't, I either drink a spirit or a soft drink now.

Yep. What they said. I used to love a few drinks in my 20s and 30s, but it destroys me now, physically and emotionally. The occasional one is OK, but never more than 2 glasses, and as pp said, never 2 nights in a row. To be honest, the less I drink the less I miss it! I absolutely LOVE waking up in the morning and thinking, yup, nothing wrong with me!

Wine is the devils poison for me. I'm from the wine o clock generation and am now mid 50's. I also had no idea when i'd had too much-lack of food being the biggest issue but i honestly look back now with such regret at the lack if memories I have for the best part of 20 years and my children's childhoods. I was going though enormous trauma at the time but I do wonder if I've damaged my brain irreparably. I mean how can being continually dehydrated be something the body recovers from? I still enjoy a Bourbon and diet coke on an odd occasion now - and crave certain wines with certain meals, but i'm so done with wine. I just don't get the blackouts if I drink spirits. Also never fancy them with food.

thanks everyone! I'm early 30's and I just HATE the hangiexty, it's crippling and I worry for another 15 years of these episodes so would rather work out how to control it now. All your points and ways of moving forward will be taken on board for sure

Am going to join the thread, too many not remembering the end of the night situations recently.

I cant drink wine anymore, I gave it up completely about 6 or 7 years ago. Dreadful hangovers and felt like shit for days after only a glass or 2. I would have a gin if i wanted a drink as its lower in histhamines than wine and im menopausal.
I got viral hepatitis 2 years ago and now i barely drink and if i do its a glass of beer, but thats maybe one or two if im on hols. I never drink at home and rarely go to the pub.
Reducing your alcohol intake is never a bad thing.

I rarely drink now. I don't miss it and the hangovers were starting to outweigh thr positives. I like waking up in thr morning feeling good.
A Spanish friend years ago said that wine was for drinking with a meal, not on its own. She found the idea of having a glass of wine and no food a bit odd and something that British people did. I've no idea if this is true for other Spanish people.

this was me. I've been sober for over 3 years. I'm happier this way. If you think you can control the gin and tonics better then try that. But it also sounds like the sort of negotiation problem drinkers do before they get honest with themselves that the need to stop.... good luck x

I have a wedding on Saturday and I am already planning no wine or maybe 1 with dinner, but i will probably just have a water and drink a couple of spirits later on.

Yeah peri meno did it for me. Happily drank wine once or twice a week from 20’s until mid 40’s. Then kaboom. Horrendous feelings afterwards, physical and emotional.

Now I very rarely drink, always with food and have found that a mocktail or a zero beer is just as nice and don’t get the after effects.

i think you’re being sensible to recognise this is becoming an issue and to deal with it now. There’s plenty other options out there.

I haven’t drunk to excess for about forty years, but in my fifties I began to suffer exactly what you describe - utter misery for a few days after even a modest amount. I was afraid I’d have to give up - but then fell into biodynamic wine, and it’s brilliant. No nasty after effects from moderate consumption. And it costs more so I inevitably buy less.

Unless at a restaurant I generally stick to G&T when out, and enjoy the good wine at home.