When you have family staying, would you do this?

[canklesmctacotits]

More of a poll than an AIBU as I don't have strong feelings either way.

We just visited DBIL, DSIL and their two DC. They live a 5hr flight away and we see them once a year normally, around Christmas time, at PILs' house. We wanted to visit their area, and stayed with them for two nights (travelled around and stayed elsewhere for 5 more nights).

While we were there the DC went to their gymnastics classes (1.5hrs each day, both at the same time). DH and DD went with them one time (the DC were very excited to take someone new), and we all went and did other stuff together during the class the second time. All good.

Then, DBIL and DSIL each individually went to gym/yoga/pilates/boxing classes themselves, each of the two days we were there. They were each absent for 2-2.5 hours each time, while the other one and their DC were with us.

I don't see a problem with this but DH (it's his DB and SIL) is a bit miffed that we went all that way "to see them" (I don't think that entirely true, we went to their area and couldn't very well not see them) and they took themselves off for half a morning/afternoon each day.

What would you think is normal? I don't exercise at all so can't really say what's reasonable 😂

I think they could probably dropped some of their usual classes just for the 2 days. It sounds like a lot.

I travel an hour each way to see my brother and his family every month or two, he spends a lot of the visit in different rooms just getting on with daily tasks and I think he'd be the same as your ILs even if we'd travelled further!

No, I wouldn't go to the gym or a class if I had guests visiting from abroad. Unless they were fond of that type thing and I had passes and was inviting them to join me. Then if they didn't want to I wouldn't.

I suppose there might be some medical reason like if the gym was at a hospital for physio purposes. But otherwise it's a bit impolite to do your own hobbies when you've got visitors.

I think it depends on the relationship - when DSis stays we carry on as normal because she’s here for work/to see DM and doesn’t expect to be ‘hosted’. I think that’s what it comes down to actually, whether you have expectations around being hosted or whether you are happy to muck in and find your own entertainment. Sounds like you are one type of person and your DH is the other! It’s the same with us, I’m from a ‘muck in’ family, DH is from a ‘need hosting’ family - their visits are quite tiring!