Fed up of my ex and to go home early?

[feduplppp]

Basically I have a very strained relationship with my ex with whom I share 2 young children with.

He lives in a different city around 35 minutes away and often complains how far it is and how much he spends in petrol (only visits once a week for a few hours).

I booked a place for me and the kids in the city where my now ex now resides for Easter so he could spend time with the kids and visit his family etc.

The first night he went out clubbing with his brother.

Second night he was tired from looking after them and went home before their bed time.

Today he rocks up at 1pm after a full sleep and rest.
I was woken up multiple times as usual.
He is 5 minutes away.

By this time the kids were getting tired and ready for their nap so I told him not to bother.
He has to go early anyway as again he is going clubbing with his brother.

I am furious, I was promised I would get to have a lie in, time to myself etc.

But as usual it's on his terms.

I want to go home to be honest as I am just so fed up.

I want to go through a formal way now as I find my ex is just so unreliable and useless.

The man is mid 40s and acts like a 20 year old I am so fed up of dealing with his laziness.

AIBU to feel this way?

Go home, don't tell him. What a looser. You owe him nothing after he has messed you and the children round this weekend. Make sure you detail his actions this weekend in writing and all the other times he has let you down. I doubt he will take you to court these chancers are full of talk and threats but short on action.

I agree with the others, he is controlling you from afar. 35 minutes is nothing for two decades my daily commute was over an hour each way 5 days a week.

Stop giving a shit what he says. My ex blames me for everything, and anything. We all know it’s him, he’s the lazy arse that wants his children on his terms and anything else is me stopping him seeing them. Just smile and nod, and tell him you welcome a court date. Other than that, step away. Dont engage unless it’s about him collecting and returning the children.

Do you look up to him? No, so dont worry what he thinks about you.
Quietly go home, no big fanfare or drama, just pack up and go home.

You need to stop listening to his lies. He is saying things that are not true because he needs to manipulate the situation. He is selfish and doesn’t really care about anyone except himself.

your sleep will only be disrupted for a short time whilst your kids are young. You need to build your own life and on your own terms. Stop asking for his approval.

he sounds borderline narcissistic. Highly likely severe ADHD (massive issues with responsibilty).

Excellent news. Let him take you to court, they will instruct him to use the parenting app and they will tell him which days you have to make the children available to him so he won't be able to mess you/them about. They will probably make him come to you or meet halfway too. And all that will cost him money 😂

Tell him to bring it on.

^^ This. In spades.

He has now just advised me that he will be taking me to court and how he is going "to tell them everything".
I asked what did he mean?
He said me stopping his access and stopping his family from seeing them.

Tell him that's OK because you can show the court he uses these threats as a way of controlling you and placing you in fear.

After you've said that to him tell him to fuck off.