How much childcare do grandparents provide now compared with previous generations?

[TheCatSitterDM]

Inspired by a recent threads, i'm interested to know from current grandparents how much childcare they provide vs how much childcare they recieved as parents?

My Husband and his Cousins spent a lot of weekends and holidays at their Grandparents house as children.
My MIL spent a lot of time with my DC1 as a baby and toddler and offered to have him over night and weekends so we could have time to ourselves. After my FIL got poorly they moved abroad to a warmer climate so my DC2 hasn't had as much time with them but she is still very involved in terms of face time calls and sending gifts ect.
My Auntie in law (MILs sister / husband's cousins mum) has a "I've done my time looking after kids" attitude to her own GC and resents being asked to provide childcare.
Like I said, their mother had their children often and was also a source of emotional support such as being present at the grandchildrens births ect.
Current Grandparents do you feel you're expected to do more childcare than your parents offered you?

My grandmother looked after my brother and me a lot in the holidays. We also spent a lot if time at the childminder.

My MIL has akways been keen to help. (My parents arent healthy enough)... partly because her own mother refused to do absolutely anything, not even occasion babysitting as "you chose to have children". Expected them all to run about after her though.

Never had scheduled childcare with grandparents would just be days out and sleepovers. My parents are the same. We did spend a lot of time with grandparents with parents and my kids again are the same.

We had very little help when our DC were small. My mum (a widow) worked full time, and didn't drive so couldn't get to us anyway. DH's parents were too busy with hobbies/holidays etc. They would occasionally babysit for an evening or afternoon, but that was about it.

We now have 2 DGC and we babysit regularly at weekends but we don't provide daily childcare. I do have the youngest on a Friday morning however. We both still work (me part time), travel and have social lives, so we're doing what we can, which is a lot more than either of our parents ever did.

I would say on a whole less time but that's due to a range of factors rather then grandparents don't want to be involved.

People tend to live further away from each other rather then just around the corner. The retirement age is older then it was and often people are working right up til retirement.

I remember spending weeks of holidays with my GM and remember her vividly taking 6 GCs on the train to London! No idea how she managed all of us!

My DM is retiring soon and is happy to have DCs for a bit of holidays which is fantastic. I wouldn't expect her to or want her to do every week childcare/school runs etc as that limits her options for going away or enjoying what she wants to.

I think it's pretty entitled to presume or get annoyed if a GP says they aren't going to do weekly childcare.

My parents had my kids loads but my grandparents didn’t ever look after us.

My upbringing and my children’s were similar in that there wasn’t daily childcare due to distance, but grandparents would have them/us for weekends and weeks at a time. To me this is hugely valuable, it allows time for the parents to have time alone which I think is important for a happy marriage and gives children and grandparents time to bond which I think is developed better over a decent chunk of time as opposed to regular drop in type visits. I hope to do the same, I wouldn’t want the pressure of daily support, I feel that is something parents should fund themselves.

Statistically grandparents are much older these days. 40 years ago, you’d be a grandparent by your mid-40s. These days you’d probably be 60. For future generations it will be nearer 70. None of my grandparents lived to 70!

If my grandparents had lived closer to us I imagine they’d have looked after us more.

As it was I was letting myself into the house with my own key at 7 and staying in the house without an adult for up to two hours everyday which wouldnt happen now.

By the time I was born my paternal grandfather had died and my grandmother was in poor health but my brother who is 7 years older than me does remember going to stay with grandma for about a month when he was about 4. As she got older we would be taken to visit her on a Sunday afternoon. On my mother's side, nanny worked full time in a factory until she was 60 but Mum only worked casual part time because my dad was in the Royal Navy and away for long stints. My aunt who lived in the same village as us did some babysitting. My parents did far more child care for my nephew but by the time my niece came along 16 years later they were only able to provide a few years of care before they were too old and unwell.

I never stayed with either sets of grandparents (one set lived abroad), and my parents never provided childcare for my dcs, although they did for my siblings dcs.

I was never looked after by my maternal grandparents but they were in their 70s when I was born. My paternal grandmother would have us for the afternoon once we reached an age we could play table games with her as her health wasn't great.

MIL does one day a week and when we relocate she's going to give us a lot of grief.

My grandparents on my dad’s side never looked after us, outright refused even though they lived under 10 minutes away. Even refused when my mum was in labour and they had no other alternatives.
My grandmother on my mums side lived too far away to provide regular childcare though I do remember staying on my own with her for a few days one school holiday.

My MIL looks after my kids occasionally and my mum the same. Both are too far away for regular childcare but they will have them for a day or overnight. I know my mum feels resentful that she got no help and though doesn’t want to do regular childcare she knows how hard it is when you have no help so she will help if she can

Im in my 50s, my grand parents did no childcare at all, we'd visit as a family or have a family event.

My parents would do the odd weekend, if we wanted to go away, or a night here and there. My sister would take my kids and now my grandchild at the drop of a hat. She has no kids and gladly takes any of the nieces/nephews.
I have my daughter and grandchild living with me. I do 3 days childcare while my daughter works and the odd babysitting if she wants a night out.

I baby sit every now and again maybe about six times a year. I work full time in my sixties and by the time I retire my youngest gc local enough for babysitting will be 12. My own parents, meaning mum, was there for emergency childcare but very much had her own life to get on with once her own kids were grown.

My mum and dad - zero for us.
my grandma and grandad did loads for us despite mum not working. She had a selective memory about how hard they had it ‘with no money or help’ - they must think we have collective amnesia.

None; too old or deceased but my parents got very good support from their own siblings. And vice versa, there was a lot of visiting cousins and aunts and uncles etc which made the long school holidays much nicer

I’m not a grandparent (DC are teens and I was an older mum), but my maternal grandparents looked after me and my brother every day pre-school and after school, so my mum could go to work full time after being SAHM until my brother was 5 and I was 8. My dad worked full time and had a part-time job too.

We may have seen my dad’s mother 2 or 3 times a year so no childcare there and not much of a relationship either though I’m not blaming the absence of childcare. She was further away and mum of 11.

When I had my DC we were in other city. After each baby my mum came to help me for the first week and then DH took pat leave after that. I would take the DC to my parents for 3-4 days every month whilst on mat leave. I have very fond memories of that time. My parents have been such a brilliant support from 200 miles away. They’ve looked after DC in our home so DH and I could have a holiday a few times. They also took them for a week every summer holidays so we could make our annual leave work. I’m so grateful to them. Now the DC are teens and we all live a bit closer the DC go round to their new bungalow and help with jobs in the house or garden which is just lovely

I feel as though I practically lived with both sets of my grandparents. If I wasn't being looked after by them (pretty much every weekend), we were at their house (being looked after with parents present).

My parents and my in laws couldn't be less fussed about our 3 DC. I quite enjoy being a parent though - I don't think they did.

I saw my maternal grandparents every weekend and holiday, or if i was off school sick. My daughter sees my mum once in a blue moon. Thats a lot to do with my mum working and her mum being a SAHM though, plus living a bit further away.

My grandmothers did zero childcare. But that was the norm, we all had to go outside and we were on our own. Oh, I was a latchkey kid from 10 on, grandparents sort of moved in and out. My grandfather occasionally gave me some of the food he cooked.

When my mom visited her mom, she took me along and I was expected to do chores, then go outside.

Not a grandparent so no childcare. I would in an emergency or covering appointments and such or very occasionally, but I would not be providing daycare all week long.

My grandparents never provided childcare for us. dh’s grandparents were very hand on because his parents were…let say….. not winning any parenting prizes.

My mum and dad provided childcare for one of their dgc because of difficult unexpected circumstances (marriage break down, dad was absent/lived a distance away and it supported now single SIL to be able to work and provide a home for dgc).

They never provided childcare for any other dgc because we didn’t have unexpected difficulties so as independent adults got on with our own arrangements.

If I am retired when ds starts a family, I won’t be pressured into childcare, no one should be, but with the fun I am currently having with my great niece, if I am still fit enough I might enjoy it - it’s (hopefully as ds is still at uni) a few years away though.

I don’t know anyone irl from my generation that was watched by grandparents. Our parents used childcare.

I don’t know anyone in my parenting cohort irl that didn’t just pay for childcare.

I have only seen this phenomenon online. I’m honestly not convinced it’s that common.

My grandparents lived very close to us and we saw them a lot, they were usually there on days out. They would look after us whenever my mum needed to be somewhere, though we didn't ever sleep there. Every Sunday they would take us for a walk while my mum was cooking. Our house was a five minute walk away for them.
My mum spent a lot of time with my children when they were small, mostly not on her own but on days out etc. She looked after them once a week when I was working, but she wouldn't have done more, partly because she lives an hour's drive away.
If I have grandchildren I think the likelihood of living near enough for regular childcare is unlikely as my son has moved away. I think that's a shame as I would like to be present but could never afford a house where they live.

Exactly the same as they received.
My dad's mum used to cover half the school holidays with me and my mum's dad did the other half. DH's nan did their childcare as she lived next door.
My parents have looked after DS for the first week of the school holidays and my in-laws are doing the second week.

We did not use either set for age 0-5 as we paid for nursery. They'll do the odd evening for us to go out for a meal.

I was brought up by my grandparents, so my mother did nil parenting, but did look after my two for a week while I was having a hospital stay, I can't remember any other time. She used to take them shopping for their birthday and come and visit of a weekend.

MIL was much more involved, baby sitting if asked, and looking after my toddler one day a week when I attended college. She'd also be able to take over in an emergency. I didn't need school holiday cover as I was a SAHM, and later worked school time only until they were teenagers.

I look after my DGC for part of every school holiday, probably about a quarter of the time they are off school. They go to other Grandmother and holiday club for the rest of the time unless DD or DSIL are also off work.

I am not close enough to do ad hoc baby sitting, though other grandmother is very local and has them for an evening or if they are unwell. Of course if called upon I would drop everything and take over if needed.