Hello
Me and my dp had a rare evening out on Thursday and my mum looked after our 10month baby. The evening was amazing. The following day, we both went into shops. He spent quite a while looking at clothes (he never buys clothes) and then he really wanted to visit his hobby shop before picking baby back up. I wanted to go to a new bakery. But it was in the opposite direction. After his shops I was then getting rushed so we could pick baby up and then rush home to collect cats from cattery. I wasnt happy with this and told him I didnt want to pick baby up, thank my mum and go. It seemed ungrateful and I wanted to at least sit for a bit. He said he would maybe phone cattery to extend stay (as I did with my dog to avoid the hassle... as we live an hour away from my mum).
He then managed to fit everything in car which meant we could pick up cats enroute instead of going home and him going back out. Ill admit I wasnt happy and wanted him to just call cattery. Anyway he told me we had 40minutez then we had to go to make it. In all honesty, I wasnt in any rush as I was pissed off our day was being rushed when he could just extend booking. I didn't hurry and he kept pestering me "we need to go, hurry up and have your coffee, be quick in bathroom etc".
He then said he would meet me in the car. I then down ten minutes later, I went to bathroom said bye to mum, she was saying bye to baby etc. In the car he told me to stop being in a mood as I was quiet. I told him I wasnt happy being rushed and didnt appreciate being told to hurry up at every opportunity. He sajd he isnt a mindreader and if I wanted cats in an extra night, I should have said. We then started arguing in the car. He was calling me selfish. I denied this and said he was being selfish as he could have been quicker in his shops.
He then told me I was in a mood as I knew I had done wring. I said no, I was in a mood at being spoken to like a child. He then slapped my thigh and told me to grow up. He was shouting and swearing in car. Baby was asleep but he was driving fast to make it to the cattery. He said afterwards he hated driving fast as we had our baby in the car. I told hin to stop blaming me he decided to drive fast. He kept saying "tell me why u were being selfish, I need to know as I don't want to be with someone sellfish what is the fucking root cause" I then asked him if he watched his dad hit his mum growing up, if not, what is his root cause for hitting me, my leg in the car. He then said he wanted me out the house. I refused.
He kept calling me a fucking bitch infront of our baby. When challenged he said I have broken his heart. All I do is argue with him and he can't take it. He said he does lash out but I cause him so much frustration. I told him to grow up. He then started on the "tell me why you are selfish, why??" I then laughed and said "wow, and you call me autistic. Shut the fuck up". I then had 999 on dial and told him if he touched me again id call the police. He then said to our baby that he was sorry she ended up with a mum like me and because if me her life is now drastically going to change.
I then said, what does that mean?? He said that he isn't in a position to coparent as I'll move back to my home city and he works full time. I said well you would see her at weekends. He then said why should he see her every weekend where is his time off to do what he wants. I then said he was a deadbeat dad. He said he isnt he would do what needed done. In bed he then told me he is feed up of me treating him however I like. And he is the bad one for reacting. We both agreed we love each other but when it comes to conflict its bad. We are now being civil to each other. But is he abusive??
I feel sad but he keeps telling me it was my fault and I am not a team player in this family.