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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to commit to giving my neighbours a lift to school everyday?

37 replies

NoLongerMyFirstPost · 18/06/2008 21:39

I really don't want to commit to giving them a lift everyday as I sometimes have to start work early, I call in to see my mum some mornings before work, pop to the shops, fill up with fuel etc which all mean I tend to leave at different times each day. I am, of course, happy to be called upon in emergencies but really don't want to commit to this everyday.

Neighbour does not drive, but can easily walk or even get a bus.

So what do you think, AIBU?

OP posts:
Countingthegreyhairs · 20/06/2008 14:29

Agree with JudgeNutmeg. How did she phrase the request? Tbh if I was your neighbour I would have suggested a reciprocal arrangement even if I didn't drive ... and if she is expecting you to do it every day then I think YANBU ..

It's not just about the fact that you are driving past the school in the car, it's the responsibility of looking after someone else's children; you are the one in sole control if they are ill or upset or misbehave etc etc -

In your position I would suggest one or two days per week and no more

Countingthegreyhairs · 20/06/2008 14:30

That sounds really mean-spirited doesn't it .. I just think it's a bad sign if she is expecting you to do it every day without even offering to reciprocate once or twice ...

cat64 · 20/06/2008 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JudgeNutmeg · 20/06/2008 14:43

I've just been talking to a friend about this and have come to the conclusion that my feeling derive from my unsatisfactory relationship with my own neighbour. I just can't deal with passive/aggressive people. I know she must have her reasons for blanking me for months but she will not even let me get close enough to find out and frankly, she has done this enough times now for me to know that it's 'her' and not 'me'. I find it a sad situation.

Anyway, if your neighbour is nice and you feel that there may be some recipricosity involved then there probably is a way forward for you. If not, then just smile and say 'thanks but that won't work for us.'

Mummyandi · 20/06/2008 15:09

YANBU. I can't believe people would say you are. THey are not your kids, NOT your responsibility. What happens if your kids are sick and you can't go etc. It is not fair to ask someone to do something like that every day

alittleone2 · 20/06/2008 15:40

Message withdrawn

Uriel · 20/06/2008 15:45

No, you're not.

It won't work long term anyway, if they have after school activities/clubs or playdates.

Tell her what you've said in your op.

ScottishMummy · 20/06/2008 15:45

Blimey!her child her responsibility, not your's and certainly not as a commitment.

what would she do if you were not available? it is a big ask

fwiw collegues of mine drive nearby but dont stop off to drive me to work, nor do i expect it

GoodOldDays · 11/11/2022 17:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Valeriekat · 12/11/2022 04:24

LittleBella · 18/06/2008 21:51

A little bit. But only a teeny teeny tiny bit.

Car sharing is something to be encouraged imo, it's a tiny contribution to cutting down on emissions.

Why don't you just tell your neighbour that you may leave at differnt times each day, go and see your mum, some days you might be a bit late, etc., and if her kids are happy to go along with that, fine, but if not, you can't do it? I would also say that I would not wait for any late child, as the driver you can reserve the right to be late yourself, but not have passengers being late.

I would expect a petrol contribution though. The way fuel prices are going at the mo, you may be glad of it.

They can WALK!

NumberTheory · 12/11/2022 05:22

ZOMBIE

Meraas · 12/11/2022 05:24

Interesting that this neighbour wasn’t identified as a CF in 2008. She would be today.

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