Is it wrong to confiscate kids phones?

[Atealltheeggsalready]

Feeling frustrated now with children’s addiction to phones & computers (not their fault)
Dd is only 7, obviously has no phone etc, but two of her friends on the road have their parents old mobiles. They have games on and YouTube, no other social media
We have a large garden with trampoline, footballs, slides, lots of toys, Lego and games inside, drawing things, paints and so on.
Each time these two friends come (usually separately) they have started bringing their phones (one friend is still 6, the other is 8)
Before this, they’d play on the trampoline, football, chat in the garden, play imaginary games with toys, lego, chase…when they bring the phones, they sit the whole time on the trampoline or bench outside just glued to it and i’m sick of it.
We let Dd go on the home computer to play Minecraft building games sometimes when on her own and tv anytime when friends not here is fine. She has a very outdoors life, but I find it so sad to watch the natural playing being replaced, especially so young.
The last couple of times they’ve come I’ve said i’m sorry but they’ll have to put the phones in the drawer until home time, Dd practically begs for it, I really feel they’re addictive.
I’m not keen on Dd going to one of their houses as they’re just left to watch YouTube (adult, not even kids) Dd has now started saying it’s boring at our house and Ive noticed this friend often struggles to know how to play

Would me doing this offend you as a parent?
I just wish no one had phones/this much technology for kids. Tired of feeling like the uptight, bad guy

Take their phones. I have this issue when i have my nephew. He does not know how to play. We gave to be really structured most of the time with bike ride, swim, football on the green, play a board game, play with x toy etc. He cannot think like that himself.

At that age I said "Oh we put them on the kitchen counter so they aren't damaged. Go out and play!".

Your house your rules and all that, but I'd let the parents know this is what you'll be doing so that, if they're the type to insist their DCs can't possibly be parted from their phones, they can opt not to send them

Yes, this is exactly how it feels like it’s becoming. The girl (6) who is allowed to watch YouTube for ages literally walks around our house not knowing what to do, it’s so sad, Dd struggles with her a bit now as says she doesn’t really play. The problem is they then love to go to her house where Dd even says it’s better there as they’re allowed to do whatever they want.
The 8 year old boy is better, they’re now laughing and playing with character teddies on the trampoline now i’ve put the phone away, Dd did come in a few times asking for it and me repeatedly saying no
I just wish they weren’t given them, this boy has a tv in his room with YouTube on, I just don’t see the point at all at this age

Agree put the phones on a shelf, or just stop inviting those kids. It's a shame but if they're not playing, there's no point.

That a good idea, Dd actually said to him her mummy doesn’t allow to play games and go on YouTube all the time…guessing it will go back to his mum 😬 she’s great though in all other areas

same for my nephew. He will be left in his room for hours watching youtube. Some elements of his speech are also 3 years behind.

They live two doors down so it’s not to call or text them, it’s for the games and Youtube

It’s sad as they’re her best friends on the road who she’s grown up with, years of playing so lovely and now this recently, it just feels far too young

I doubt that'll make any difference if they're against phones being removed TBH, but I'd tell them anyway and hope for the best

Gosh that is so sad that such young children are being given phones like this. I'd do the same as you I think as I don't want my own children to be exposed to them. How can they not see how dangerous they are?!

I just don’t understand it. They can stumble across anything on YouTube

I have a (teenage, senior/due to sit exams) pupil that falls asleep in class and my colleague said his phone registers 7 hours of use in the morning ie. he's up all night. Phones out in class despite no phone policy, teaching with this is like whackamole. They are pretty much all addicted, it's awful.

I know!! I don’t understand it, Dd now asks for a tv in her room, it’s just not happening! She barely even plays there, we all watch tv together, why would I want her up there watching god knows what on YouTube, so worrying

I thought this would be sbout teens.

Make it clear to their mum... your house is phone free and they need to leave them at home.

It’s really awful, I know they’re making moves to making social media illegal for under 16’s, but sill this include YouTube and actual use of it and games on phones. Why give a 6 year old a phone

I never thought I’d need to encounter this issue so young

Just say to the kids “we don’t have screens at play dates our house so let’s put that away till it’s time for you to go home”.

Your house, your rules. I wouldn’t allow phones on a play date even for my Y6 and certainly not for my 7 year old. If the parents don’t like it, tough.

For what it’s worth, the one time I did allow screens on a play date was because older DD convinced me that she and her friend wanted to do a coding project on Scratch and could they borrow my old laptop which I had set up an account on for Dd to do Scratch and PowerPoints for school homework. Later it transpired that in the hour they’d been “coding” they had gone onto Roblox (which the other girl wanted to show to DD) they had set up an account for DD and added some random person as her “friend” and in the middle of all this had accidentally downloaded a bunch of malware which meant I had to completely wipe the laptop. I thought I had watertight settings on that computer preventing anything being downloaded without me entering a password but something went wrong.

Since then we have had an absolute no screens at play dates rules.

Yes, i’m not giving in, there’s just no need for it

You can’t confiscate another child’s belongings just because you disagree with them having them. You haven’t said whether your daughter is bothered by the change of pace of the play dates, but you can set whatever rules you want for her. I wouldn’t be happy if my daughter’s phone was taken off her by a judgy parent. Talk to the parents if you wish, my response would be that she brings her phone or she doesn’t go. She would probably choose not to go. We have very specific reasons for that and I’m not about to explain that to another kids’ mum.

Yes, the panorama is absolutely terrifying.

From infant age pupils stuck in front of animated slop to keep them quiet resulting in underdeveloped vocabulary, to primary age who are hypnotised by games or you tubes that they don't even understand resulting in them not knowing how to amuse themselves, to secondary pupils with limited critical thinking skills who are absolute slaves to their phone and social media.

I wish more parents were like OP . I can't understand why there are so many who seem unaware of the consequences of handing out screens so freely.

Take the phones OP. You'll be doing those kids a favour even if it's only for the couple of hours they are in your house.

Maybe compromise 15 mins on the phone and then it goes on the side

Wow 6yo is really young. I think that's very unusual, my dc1 is that age and none of her friends have phones.

I'd be the baddie and say no phones is your house rule. Children do understand that different houses have different rules. The kids will either stop choosing to go to your house, or (more probably) keep visiting for the trampoline etc

And maybe I'm uptight but we haven't introduced Minecraft yet. My 5.5yo only has a couple of simple platformer games as I think they're less addictive and levels have a more clearly identified end so it's easier to stop.

At 8?