What can I do about my aging mid-40s face?

[ThatNimblePeer]

Just been on a long Zoom call with a friend, which was lovely, but I do find it a bit hard to confront the reality of my mid-40s face on screen. Mainly neck lines, under-eye circles which I hate, and some forehead lines. I use moisturiser, I have some under-eye concealer, but there are limits to the difference it makes. I don’t really want to do Botox. I could try tretinoin but I’m nervous about upping my risk of skin cancer. Do I basically just have to accept that this is it now? I feel as if there ought to be some kind of expert I could go see, maybe a dermatologist or similar, who could give me advice on at least how to make the most of what I’ve got, the best products to use, whether stuff like gua sha really makes any difference. Someone I could actually trust to be objective, rather than trying to sell me something. Am I kidding myself? What do people do?

Do you drink alcohol? If so, give that up.

Get plenty of sleep.

Drink lots of water.

Stay out of the sun and use factor 50 regularly.

You can’t undo years of sun damage and boozing with some serums.

It's better to focus on looking healthy, happy and well rested than frozen in time.
It's sad that looking good seems to = looking younger for so many.

Get plenty of sleep, exercise a lot, eat lots of vegetables and fish, and use a rich moisturiser.

ETA drink lots of water, too

It's prescription only from Skin and Me or Dermatica.
I get it cheap from family overseas though.

@CharlotteRumpling thank you, I would like to give this a go!

Is this actually about your appearance or just coming to terms with being older though? It sounds like the latter to me (accompanied by an extremely harsh inner critic).

It's fabulous. I've been using it for decades and am gloriously wrinkle free.

Im off to Lithuania next month for a full facelift. Costs 7k at Nordsesthetic in Kaunas. I know loads of people who have been.
I dont trust Turkey with my face.

Just be careful about tret. It can work, but it's also pretty harsh. If you have any issues around sensitivity, redness, rosacea etc it can make things a lot worse - I learned that the hard way!

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you, I will definitely be investigating further!

who cares what you like like though. If you don’t look in mirrors and work remotely it helps a lot. Just ignore your face and all will be well.

Not at all. Im 64. The surgeon said for the best results I really should have had a facelift 10 years ago but I couldnt afford it then. But my neck is tortoise like now so its going to be a bigger job.

Do you wear daily suncream on your face? I’m only a similar age but I’ve been applying sun cream every day, for about the last 5/6 years, come rain or shine!
Thats all I do, suncream a good moisturiser and plenty of water! But I do think we are our own worst critic! I’m sure you look fabulous and no where near as bad as you think!

As it is zooms which seem to make you feel you look older on camera..

Have you considered optimising the position of your camera and the lighting?
This can have a huge effect on a par with shining a torch under your face.

Two main things are camera no lower than eye level.
And lighting.. Maybe from two sides? depending on your main light source and sometimes diffused if possible. Depends what lighting you have. That's why all the Tik Tok folk have those Ring lighting kits . Easier to have this near your desk if you are zooming from home.. but perhaps a small battery operated light you keep in your drawer at work?

There are tonnes of tutorials on You Tube etc on how to improve how you look on zoom cameras etc. Have a look and see if you will then be ready for your profile Mr De Mille. (In times gone by they used to smear the lense with vaseline)

What can you do with your mid forties face? Want to swap it for my mid-sixties face? Just enjoy its relative youthfulness and ignore the way it looks on a Zoom screen. The camera libels.

How do on line prescriptions work can I just buy tret ? What does the prescription part mean ?

(In times gone by they used to smear the lense with vaseline)

Haha this might be the simplest way forward!

Emlift and radio frequency really help me. Micro needling or HIFU are even better though I find both painful. If you can have regular lifting facials it might be enough to boost your confidence. I’ve been using the Froja anti ageing system for the last couple of weeks and it’s definitely doing something!

Same problem. Using no. 7 future renew serum at night and protect and perfect moisturizer in the morning. Trying to stay in a routine. Hoping to see an improvement

Same as online pharmacies. You do an 'online consultation' (questionnaire) it's reviewed by a dermatologist and if approved it arrives in the post. That's how dermatica and skin +me work.

CO2 laser.

The results are incredible.
Fully ablative is very dramatic, with a huge recovery, and it’s for if you have lots of wrinkle and are older.
fractional CO2 works well giving lift and erasing wrinkles in younger people and only has a few days to a week down time. It might take 2-3 sessions though with up to 6 months in between sessions.

Sadly out of my price range, but I’m watching lots of women posting Day by day recovery vids on TT. They look amazing!

I’d love to find something that works
I use a hydroclonic (?) acid serum in the morning. Followed by a day cream with SPF50
At night I do a collegan serum and a night cream. Once a week at night I use retinol

I use a face scrub a couple of times a week. I also have a silk pillowcase as I’ve heard good things if you’re a side sleeper.

I’m constantly tempted by collagen but everyone who advertises it clearly has had fillers and/ Botox - which I have absolutely no issue with, but I want an honest review not someone who looks good because of needles. Then I’ve read a few things which say it’s pointless so who knows. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m also researching micro needling, I’m told the results are good but it takes time to see the affect. I also use a face mask once a week. The boots No 7 lift and luminate I think it’s called, but not been using it long enough to say it’s working.

I think as pp have said, creams and serums can make your skin feel nice initially but reduce wrinkles etc, I’m not so sure.

I so agree with this.

It's strange to think how, for most of human existence, people never saw their own faces at all except perhaps reflected in water. We've had mirrors for a few thousand years- although they were expensive and rare to begin with. Then photos and films. And now I have days when I literally look at my own face all day long, if I have back to back meetings- I probably look at my own face more in one day that one of my ancestors would have done across her entire life. I am sure it's not good for keeping a sense of self independent of how we look.

I don’t know, I feel for me there is a value to being confronted with how I look to other people, because I feel like there’s a part of me that’s slightly in denial about my own age and aging. I did have a baby face for a long time and was taken for younger into my mid-30s. I think part of me just thought that would carry on forever. I want to make the mental adjustment and own being in my 40s and make the most of it. I’m starting to think about women in their 40s whose looks I find aspirational, like Katie Holmes and Keri Russell. I don’t want to be skipping around like a delusional idiot like people will still look at me and think I’m in my mid-30s! It’s just an adjustment, that’s all. And I’m trying to make the adjustment, but I do feel I would like to try and at least look as good as I can for the age I am.

My issue is that I am often photographed for my work.
I wish I wasn't.