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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The more youre kind to ppl the more they think they can treat u like shite.

34 replies

ThatWildHedgehog · 03/04/2026 10:40

Aibu to think that the more youre pleasant to people or generally kind when speaking to them the more they think they can treat u like theyre above you? ...

for example, ive been at a new job for about 8 weeks now, & some of the staff (in higher bands than me) treat me like im invisible. I say hello & I get no answer. I hold a door open for someone & they walk on throught, no thank you. Ask someone to move a box so I can get something off a shelf, they just life it off like a inhuman robot. I gave a girl a compliment saying her perfume smelled lovely cause it did, when I walked into the room its all you could smell, & when I told her she just looked at me like I had 6 heads, didnt even acknowledge what I said ?!? Or say thanks or fa.

Thats just an example of what i mean by the way. 🙈

OP posts:
itsadlibitum · 03/04/2026 13:44

Not my experience either. In fact the opposite. The people you work with sound rude.

Ahwelltoobad · 04/04/2026 05:56

Sannabay · 03/04/2026 11:17

Ah well too bads
Please give me some pointerS till i can get the dvd. Please!

Well, unfortunately not much practical advice to give from it, it's more of a revenge fantasy. You'll get the gist from the trailer, enjoy!

DeftGoldHedgehog · 04/04/2026 06:03

Kind doesn't mean you let people take the piss.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 04/04/2026 06:06

something2say · 03/04/2026 13:10

I read a Forbes article yesterday, about workplace culture. Very interesting.

The author quoted an American football coach, saying 'Mediocre people don't like successful people and successful people don't like mediocre people.'

I take this as, successful people face challenges and work out how to resolve them. They try, struggle, face fear, face their own issues and work to improve.

But nt everyone does that. So if you are like that, people might find that you show them up and they want to roll their eyes and be unfriendly, and generally wish you gone.

The article went on to say that it is your duty to establish who is who at work, and how to play things, in order that you are successful.

Already this approach has helped me, as I've been decorating at home and have mentioned it at work, but not everyone at work will bother to decorate so it is be better for my work relationships to not mention it and I'm not going to. I'm a go getter, not everyone else is.

I think you're kind and friendly, but not everyone is and it is now on you to flex, for your happiness and future. All the best with it.

Good God.

FairKoala · 04/04/2026 06:28

I can relate to the question about the job being in the public sector. It got me thinking.

I do agency work so work at a variety of places. I have done this for a few years and whilst 99% of the places I work, the staff members are lovely and welcome agency staff.

The only places I have experienced outright rudeness and what could constitute assault and had disablist and racist comments have been all public sector places that I refuse to return to.

Belleends · 04/04/2026 06:29

In your rather bleak sounding world… perhaps.

Sure as heck not in my world thankfully.

Nothung · 04/04/2026 06:37

something2say · 03/04/2026 13:10

I read a Forbes article yesterday, about workplace culture. Very interesting.

The author quoted an American football coach, saying 'Mediocre people don't like successful people and successful people don't like mediocre people.'

I take this as, successful people face challenges and work out how to resolve them. They try, struggle, face fear, face their own issues and work to improve.

But nt everyone does that. So if you are like that, people might find that you show them up and they want to roll their eyes and be unfriendly, and generally wish you gone.

The article went on to say that it is your duty to establish who is who at work, and how to play things, in order that you are successful.

Already this approach has helped me, as I've been decorating at home and have mentioned it at work, but not everyone at work will bother to decorate so it is be better for my work relationships to not mention it and I'm not going to. I'm a go getter, not everyone else is.

I think you're kind and friendly, but not everyone is and it is now on you to flex, for your happiness and future. All the best with it.

Are you on glue?

Mogbiscuit · 04/04/2026 06:39

something2say · 03/04/2026 13:10

I read a Forbes article yesterday, about workplace culture. Very interesting.

The author quoted an American football coach, saying 'Mediocre people don't like successful people and successful people don't like mediocre people.'

I take this as, successful people face challenges and work out how to resolve them. They try, struggle, face fear, face their own issues and work to improve.

But nt everyone does that. So if you are like that, people might find that you show them up and they want to roll their eyes and be unfriendly, and generally wish you gone.

The article went on to say that it is your duty to establish who is who at work, and how to play things, in order that you are successful.

Already this approach has helped me, as I've been decorating at home and have mentioned it at work, but not everyone at work will bother to decorate so it is be better for my work relationships to not mention it and I'm not going to. I'm a go getter, not everyone else is.

I think you're kind and friendly, but not everyone is and it is now on you to flex, for your happiness and future. All the best with it.

Does this relate to OPs situation? Who is mediocre here and who is successful? Sounds to me as if the difference in her work place is to do with levels of common politeness, not success.

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 04/04/2026 06:40

Op- I knew you would be talking about a hospital.

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