AIBU to ask my ex-colleague to collect her dog?

[momtoboys]

There is a woman that i used to work with that is involved in a DV situation. She is temporarily living with a friend and she brought her two dogs with her. She has always said that one of the dogs is good and one of them is bad. My understanding is that the friend is not supposed to have pets in her flat. A few weeks after she had move in with the friend, that neighbors were complaining about the dogs. The ex coworker called and asked if I could take one of her dogs until she gets settled in her own place. I said yes. She dropped him off 3 weeks ago. He is mostly fine. He's a cute little fella. However he has now destroyed $120 in blinds in our bedroom and my husband has just about had it.

She had said that she was going to be in a new place on April 1 but now there is additional paperwork she needs for a rent subsidy and she isn't sure when that will come through.

I feel for her and want to help her but I cannot have him continue to destroy things it costs us to replace. Would I be an awful person to call her, explain what has happened and tell her if something happens again she will either have to come and get him or pay for the damages?

If you are helping her out by having the dog then I don't see why you should be out of pocket if it is destroying things in yout home.

What did she say when you told her about the blinds the dog has destroyed? Did she offer to pay something towards the cost of the damage?

She is in a difficult situation atm but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a definate date for when she will collect the dog and to tell her she needs to pay towards the cost of any damage the dog causes.

I haven't told her. Last week was one blind so I thought it was a one off. Today it was two more. They aren't expensive but at $40 each, it adds up.

put the blinds right up as now you know the dog will destroy them.

is he bored? can you walk him more he will burn off energy. does he have toys to “kill” if he is a terrier type?

where does she live can she come walk him?

id tell her about the problems you're having so she knows to keep cracking on wirh her application or whatever and it’s a temporary situation youre in re the dog which is becoming inconvenient.

She’s taking the piss out of you. She will probably say she’ll pay and never get round to it. I just tell her he needs collecting.

What part of the country are you in? Slim chance it’s the right area, but I know a charity that fosters pets in these situations.

I don't think YABU but I can imagine she has limited options. Pets can be a large part of why people stay in bad situations.

the dog shouldn't be able to reach the blinds as it's a choking hazard! If you don't know if an animal can be trusted, then you need to leave it somewhere it can't do damage. Is is crate trained? If so, get one and use it when you can't be watching the dog. If not, use baby gates or similar to make an area that it can be contained in so it can't access anything it could trash.

Make sure it has a decent walk at least once a day and play games or use puzzle bowls or the like to use up brain energy so it's not looking for things to do out of boredom.

Let her know it's doing damage and ask her to cover the cost but if she's escaping DV she may not have any money so it's best to try and avoid any more being done using the above methods I've suggested. I've fostered a lot of dogs, many without any training, so I learnt quickly how to make sure both the dogs, and my house, were safe!

@AdarajamesAgain seriously? Blinds are common in houses with full length windows etc. If a dog got caught up(which ive never heard of) their strength, regardless of breed would pull the whole thing down! Its instinct.

Op id just be upfront and say 1st blind was ok, now it's £xxx and they need to be replaced. Is she paying for food??

The dog sounds like it needs more stimulation and exercise. It has been through a stressful situation moving from home to home, living without his owner and may have been subject to violence or abuse itself.

I would try and hang on a little longer and get it out walking more and crate it/kept in one room when alone but that’s just the softy in me talking.

She's not paying for food although she is coming over tonight to give him his flea and tick medication. These were blinds which were up in our bedroom. We would leave the door closed except that our elderly dog sleeps on our bed all day and if the door was closed, she couldn't get to her spot. We are going to leave the blinds all the way up so he cannot reach them. thanks

Our 5 month old puppy has eaten my blinds after getting himself tangled when the amazon driver had a row with the post box on our door. They are chain free vertical ones so I am not entirely sure how he managed it so you have my sympathy.

Can you crate him?

“he has now destroyed $120 in blinds in our bedroom”

What is he doing in your bedroom? Would it not be simpler to confine the dog to the kitchen and any other room where he can’t attack anything? That way you can hang on for a few more days without risking your blinds. I most certainly wouldn’t have a dog in my bedroom - ever!

Dogs Trust have a service called Freedom where they find foster homes for dogs from people involved in domestic abuse situations. Once the owner has found permanent accommodation, they are reunited with their dog. You could maybe recommend this to your ex colleague.

How comes?

OP - Yanbu, she should pay for the blinds. Can you open them fully (as in, up) during the day for the next couple days?

Yet another thread proving that non service dogs are nothing but a fucking total, utter pain in the arse. I don't know why people have them I really don't. Nuisance

That is the plan for the one we have left. :) He is not crated because his owner said he has never been crated and will not tolerate it. I am afraid if we try it he will hurt himself. As far as him being in our bedroom, he goes in there because we are those people who allow the dogs to sleep on our bed when we aren't home. If we lock him out we lock out our elderly dog who has always napped there. Thanks for the advice, all.

Or maybe this poor dog has been living in a stressful toxic situation witnessing anger, shouting and violence and potentially having to experience it themselves as well, then they were moved from the home they knew to somewhere strange and again moved to yet another home without the one human they trusted and all of this is reflecting in their behaviour and emotions.

No you need to tell her to come and get the dog. I love dogs, I regularly have my adult sons but I wouldn’t want her permanently. Sure to help out, but not permanently.
Your “friend “ said until April 1st so you’ve done your bit. But you have your husband and own dog to consider as well as your home.
You’ve helped her out, you’ve done a nice thing and now she needs to find an alternative asap. Whilst her situation is awful/sad/unfortunate….its now time for her to find another solution.
be strong OP don’t be taken for a mug

Others have mentioned that there are charities who foster pets for owner fleeing from domestic abuse - there's a list and links here.