To stop cooking DH dinner

[Mummybassist]

Since getting a new job DH gets take out at work most days. He then comes in and isn't hungry or 'doesnt fancy' whatever I've cooked and either just snacks or orders himself different food and says I don't add enough salt to my cooking. I try and cook healthy from scratch meals but am very limited by the fact he doesn't like anything containing egg or anything spicy. Would it be unreasonable to just start cooking food I want to eat since he hardly ever eats what I cook anyway?

I do the food shopping and all the cooking and also work 3 days a week myself so would be happy just to cater to myself! Not sure if this would be seen as petty. I'm not doing it to be spiteful, just to actually broaden what I can actually cook. I wonder if all the takeout has affected his taste buds to the point anything healthy tastes horrible!

Just to add he always used to say he loved my cooking so I don't think its just that I serve up inedible food :)

Well yes if he's not eating it then stop making it. Or save his portion for yourself the next day. I'd be concerned about the money pit of constant takeaways though, as well as the health implications.

This may be missing the point but if he finds your food not salty enough why doesnt he just add salt at the table?

Anyway separate meals seems the future. Hope you can afford all those takeaways.

It’s not especially petty but I think I’d just have an actual conversation with him about it.
“Listen dh, as you tend to either eat at the office or prefer to order in when you get home it’s best if I just cook for myself now going forwards.”

The salty thing will be because he's having takeaways/upfs or whatever.

I cook all the time for my DH but he's not ungrateful and eats without complaint.

You're not a short-order cook. If he's being actively rude, definitely set some boundaries.

It's just a waste of food to cook for him isn't it and why were you not making food you like if you're the one that mainly cooks?
Do it!

I do love taking leftovers into work tbf. I have asked him before about whether he wants me to cook for him and he claims he loves my cooking, but then always eats at work!! Maybe he's just worried about hurting my feelings. I would just love to try some new recipes with egg in.

We really can't afford take out, I always budget food very carefully so that's another (annoying) issue.

He’s just pissing money away on takeaways, while you carefully budget? That’s really not on. I wouldn’t be paying into a joint food budget for that.

I remember pointing out to my eldest & befuddled DSS he was wasting at least £250 pcm on coffees from Starbucks at work - and that was 10 years ago - and that was why he was always skint. That’d be around £350 pcm these days. Crazy.

We keep our money separate for this reason. I actually earn about the same despite working less days and sort all the house finances so am much more careful with money. I then use any spare money post bills on me and the kids. He uses all his spare money post bills on food, so it is his choice, albeit an annoying one. Its just so frustrating to limit what I cook when it no longer seems to be appreciated!

Are they also his kids? Why isn’t he paying for them as well if they are?

You'll be funding his retirement...plus probably looking after him as years of eating shit will bugger him up...

I would say you are correct with the taste-buds changing with eating all the takeouts. I would find it really quite sad if me and my partner weren’t sitting down together each night and having our meals together. If this isn’t a problem for you, then yes, make food for yourself and have the leftovers for lunch. I wouldn’t cater to someone’s unhealthy diet habits.

Not the point but I don’t think excluding eggs and spicy food = “very limited” in what you can cook!

So you’re spending your spare money on you and your children, working and doing all the housework, meanwhile he’s just working and spending his spare money on himself? Are they his children? Does he contribute an equal amount of money and time and effort to the family and household?

I think eggs and spices might be the least of your worries.

I mean, surely he is cooking at least half the week for the kids? Can't he eat what he's making them?

My husband is like this. I cook what I want. Sometimes there is a portion for him. He usually doesn’t eat it so I eat the next day or I freeze it.
if I have a one person meal eg a batch cook reheated or freezer food I just make for myself and tell him I ate earlier.

im a sahm btw. I used to feel guilty he never ate my dinners (im a great cook btw). But it’s become the new normal

You're paying for your kids and he's not? Why would you allow that?

And don't you have a salt cellar?

If he doesn't eat his dinner, fair enough - that's your lunch for tomorrow sorted. But don't put up with the money thing.