My toddler recently started at Flying Start (preschool for about 2.5 hours a day), and since then, it feels like the sicknesses have been nonstop, four illnesses in five weeks. Now I’ve caught the fifth one and this time it’s completely knocked me down.
At first, it was just mild weakness and a sore throat. I still managed to parent through it while my partner worked five full days, no help asked. But now I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. My body aches everywhere, I’m so weak I can’t even lift the baby, and every movement feels like my back might snap. I can’t stop crying because I feel like I’m failing everyone.
I’ve told him I physically can’t take it anymore, that the thought of another day like this makes me want to run away. But he just doesn’t hear me. He took two days off previously when our toddler was sick, and now refuses to take time off for me. Every time I beg for help, I get frustration back, apparently, I “don’t understand” his job.
I do understand that he’s struggling with work and scared of getting in trouble, but I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t need help. I hate asking for help in general. We have no family nearby who’ll step in, and our health visitor is on strike, so that support system’s gone too.
I’m just at the end of my rope. I feel guilty even admitting I can’t do this. But this has pushed me so far that for the first time, I’ve genuinely thought about leaving just to make it stop.
Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you cope and what do you do when your partner just doesn’t seem to get how bad it’s become?