AIBU to wonder why some people are randomly rude to strangers?

[Cryaon99]

I'm not posting this acting like im perfect, it's more about specific incidents?

My examples. I went to the tip not long after I passed my test. We'd redone fencing so had a bit to go in the wood section so I was taking my time loading it and I was in the parking spot right by it, behind me there was a waiting space that people can go in if busy and walk over and load it up. Someone was there and scoffed. So I looked over and did a half smile, I was trying to sort my pile quick. He just says "you drove with your brake lights on for about 10 minutes you soft bitch"

1. I hadn't long passed so was a bit cautious driving
2. I dont get why he wanted to say this?

A 2nd incident I've thought of wasn't me, my friend who is black. She had the lady at Starbucks serving her be unessecarily rude so my friend spoke up and said she didn't appreciated being spoken to like that and the lady should apologise. The lady continued to be mean and said for my friend to leave or she'd call security? Which was baffling as my friend was calm as anything. Seems pretty racially motivated as we seen this lady serve other customers and not be rude randomly

These are just isolated incidents I can think of and again I'm not a perfect person but I've never ever thought to be random mean or rude to someone even on a bad day?

I've never thought to say anything mean or put them down or make a bad comment?

Why do these isolated incidents happen??

Because some people are dickheads.

He definitely shouldn’t have called you a bitch, that’s rude and uncalled for.
However you drove for 10 minutes with your foot on the brake!? This confuses me

To clarify this no I didn't but I wasn't great at realising you can ease off the accelerator so I would be gently pressing breaks to slow my speed?

Does this make sense🤣 I drive an automatic so didn't have gears etc but I wasnt as bad as he made out i think he just needed to say something to lead onto calling me a soft birch 😂

What did you say as your friend was being racially profiled?

I overthink when I’m on the receiving end of rudeness/spite and question myself whether I did anything to deserve it, 9.99 times out of 10 on reflection it has nothing to do with me and they are just unkind people who consider it ok to take their stress out on strangers.

I think the rise in social media and online bullying spills out into real life sometimes now and paired with the increased life pressures that many people are experiencing being unkind is a sort of release valve for them.

It’s not right, it makes me sad and I worry that this behaviour may push someone who may be struggling over the edge, but all you can do is make sure you treat people with respect and kindness and if you see someone on the end of this behaviour check they’re ok.

Some people can be so unnecessarily cruel.

My dm is rude to people. Delivery drivers, shop workers, no-one is safe.
I apologise for her rudeness and say she's never been any different, please pay her no heed! Thankfully I only see her once a year now.

Bizarrely, it is always someone else's fault that she is rude.
She is so bloody embarrassing and always has been.

I challenged the batista when she threatened ringing security and basically asked why would she do this when my friend hasn't even raised her voice or done anything to warrant this

She didn't even look at me just reiterated to my friend she would ring security so i took my friend and made a formal complaint about the incident and gave the baristas name etc

I would have said cunts but the intent is exactly the same.

it’s not personal, they’re just wankers!

when you realise this, it’s incredibly freeing.

Yeah it’s not fun. About 3 days before Christmas a well dressed woman of around 60 BELLOWED at my 15yo autistic daughter to get out of her way as her ticket didn’t go through the turnstile at first try when exiting the tube.

Like, I get that most people tap and pay on phones etc but DD had a paper travel card and - sorry love - those things do need to be sucked through the barrier.

I moved DD out of her way and did a massive exaggerated ‘after yoooou’ with arm wave.

I think you need a refresher automatic driving lesson.

Thank you but I had just passed my test before the incident I mentioned. I think I'm an okay driver now 2 years on haha! X

Your two examples are because of sexism and racism. Some people need to be nasty to others, to feel better about themselves. Then there's people in pain, or physically/mentally not well. Although women are often judged as rude because we are behaving like the average man and not smiling, being overly nice etc.

I think excessive rudeness is not necessary but i also think that overall there are two things happening- the first is that a lot of people are really entitled and clueless and inconsiderate and, at the same time, the rest of the world is often very busy , very overwhelmed etc. The combination is not great.

In your examples, the man was probably annoyed at your driving. But of course he shouldn't have spoken like that.

Your second example is irrelevant - racism is a completely separate issue and absolutely is not ok, but that behaviour isnt happening because the barista was rude. It happened because she is racist.

I think some people are very impatient and think the world revolves round them and their needs.

One incident I recall not long ago. I was using a cash machine. It's a single one attached to an offy. A few seconds up the road there's a bank of two more attached to a post office. Just for context.

Anyway I was using it, but needed to take from two cards. As soon as the cash came out for the first transaction this man appeared right next to me, hopping up and down, bellowing 'excuse me' and literally nudging me out of way of the front of the machine while I reached for my second card. He was so close to me I was shocked!

I exclaimed 'I'm still using it!' and he looked absolutely indignant and backed away a step. While sighing loudly.

When I was leaving I said to him 'sorry your coke dealer had to wait an extra 30 seconds'.

It's amazing how one can irritate a complete stranger simply by existing.
Many moons ago, I came out of the ladies toilet in a pub.
I was washing my hands at the sink and became aware of a middle aged/elderly woman standing nearby - I thought she was waiting for a cubicle to become vacant.
Next thing, she sidled up to me and hissed "you may think that you're all that - but you're not!" - then promptly scuttled off.
To this day, I have no idea what I'd done to upset her.
I'm not remotely glamorous nor do I dress head to toe in designer gear - and if I did, what business is it of anyone else?
I was a 60 odd year old woman having a pee FFS.

Because they feel hated and like it’s them against the world, they feel they have to ‘take’ what is owed to them because they feel they never had it good.

@Wingedharpy sounds like someone with frontotemporal dementia