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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking its a bit sad when a young child is out with a parent/carer who

87 replies

Jahan · 18/06/2008 19:56

is having a really long chat on their phone. I've seen this quite a few times when in the park or out on the street. I'm not talking about a serious conversation but just light hearted chatter.
Yesterday I saw someone in the park who spent almost half an hour chatting on their phone. Its almost like they feel its too boring just to spend time with the child.
I always feel sorry for the child. Maybe I'm too sensitive.

OP posts:

whatdayisit · 18/06/2008 19:58

Do you never have a phone conversation when you child is there? Better to be chatting while they are in the park than while they're sat in front of the TV surely?

Anna8888 · 18/06/2008 20:00

I agree, and I dumped my mobile as soon as I had my daughter. I don't ever want to be disturbed when I am out and about with her.

FrannyandZooey · 18/06/2008 20:02

god I DO think it is too boring just to spend time with my child - I need some other stuff in my life
lord knows I do it long enough every day - you think we should be following them around doting on their every move?
pah to that

limecrush · 18/06/2008 20:02

erm, have to say, there could be many many reasons why they are chatting. It could be a one off. And if the child is enjoying themselves surely that is the point not constant 'face time'? (which seems obsessive to me)

Flashman · 18/06/2008 20:02

I would have thought that would be a great time to have a chat - the child is out having fun - Seeing my little neice run around the last thing she wants to be is near my sis - she is only interested in charging around.

HuwEdwards · 18/06/2008 20:03

lol!!!

feel sorry for a child because the parent/carer is on the phone??!!

yes I think you're a tad sensitive, I mean it's hardly neglect or cruelty, is it? Most parents I know rarely finish ANY type of conversation without being interrupted by a chattering child.

limecrush · 18/06/2008 20:03

absolutely F and Z!

reminds me of this bit in that book Toxic Childhood (not all of which I hated btw) about the evil tyranny of prams which faced the baby AWAY from the parent....as if every waking moment of the child's life should be spent with its eyes locked on an adult's...bit creepy if you ask me

unknownrebelbang · 18/06/2008 20:03

It encourages the child to play by themselves - a life skill, surely?

(Mine are older, and I didn't have a mobile when they were younger, but what's the difference between talking on the mobile and chatting with a friend?)

twinsetandpearls · 18/06/2008 20:05

I feel a bit sad for the children of those parents who feel eternally judged and frowned upon by others.

Of course I love to see my child play but if someone phones me that is life I will answer!

FrannyandZooey · 18/06/2008 20:05

oh I think prams should face the parent if possible, LOL

but I don't see that it's right for any human being to spend all day every day with another human being giving them their full attention

why on earth would either parent or child want or enjoy that?

milknosugar · 18/06/2008 20:06

my kids are with me all the time. i dont get any time without at least one of them between 6am and 10pm. am i expected to never speak to anyone else?

paolosgirl · 18/06/2008 20:07

Depends. If it's a long chat whilst ignoring your child, then yes. If it's a quick chat then onto the business of actually playing or talking to your child then yes.

Then again, I am anti the bloody things anyway. Great for emergencies and quick chats, but some people seem incapable of spending any time at all without a little box pressed to their ear!

2point4kids · 18/06/2008 20:07

I'd never speak to half my friends or family if I didnt chat to them on the phone when DS is playing at a park or soft play etc.
After bath and bad time in the evening its time to cook dinner, then eat. After that its 9pm and FINALLY get a sit down. Then its 10pm and bed!
Ctrazy to do nothing all the time your DCs are awake except follow them round and watch them intently.

Original poster

Jahan · 18/06/2008 20:07

I think I just felt sorry for the little boy I saw in the park who couldn't have been more than 2 and half. He just looked so glum while his mum/carer chatted away laughing.

I personally wouldn't do that if they still relied on me to be entertained.

OP posts:

paolosgirl · 18/06/2008 20:07

Quick chat then no should read

TheArmadillo · 18/06/2008 20:07

MAybe it was an important conversation- medical test results/info about job/info about sick family members.

Or maybe they just wanted a chat with a friend as their kids were driving them mad.

IF child is happy and playing then why should 100% of parents attention and time be focused on them. It isn't good for child or parent.

If child is hurting other kids/being hurt/doing somehting dangerous then obviously parent should stop, but otherwise why is there a problem.

2point4kids · 18/06/2008 20:08

Maybe these evil women who speak on the phone while in charge of children actually dare to do some cleaning or cooking at home as well instead of playing with the kids

Fillyjonk · 18/06/2008 20:11

I do this all the time, not on the phone but meeting up with friends and basically exoecting the kids to bugger off and leave us alone to chat

think this is the wrong forum, sorry

Original poster

Jahan · 18/06/2008 20:11

Sorry, I did mean while the very young child is being ignored.
Of course I wouldn't judge someone for having a conversation on the phone with a child around. Who doesn't do that?

OP posts:

dinny · 18/06/2008 20:11

Anna, are you joking?

ScottishMummy · 18/06/2008 20:11

who was watching your child Jahan whilst you were stalking gawping at another mum?

could have been any legitimate reason for the call.

none of which you know

andiem · 18/06/2008 20:12

maybe these women actually have a life outside of their children and maybe they are arranging to go out somewhere without their children now that would be completely unacceptable in my book

Psychomum5 · 18/06/2008 20:12

sorry, but I think you are being a tad unreasonable.

1, you have no idea how often they do this. they may be having the first natter on the phone to someone in days, or even, talking to someone who they never see and who lives away, and you would not want to hang up on.

2, unless you are staring at them intently, you have no clue if it is light-hearted and for a long time do you???

and if you are staring, they might think you were stalking them or something.....

FWIW, if I am out with my kiddies, and they are playing happily, and my mobile rings, I will answer it. better that than at home when my kiddies have a magic radar and choose that exact time to have a fight/ask for the impossible anad know that I will say yes as I am distracted/decide to go help themselves to food I forbid!!!!

limecrush · 18/06/2008 20:13

yes 2.4. Or- god forbid- work! or read a book...or get their hair done...or go to the toilet by themselves... (drifts off into realm of unfulfillable fantasy)

TheFallenMadonna · 18/06/2008 20:15

Blimey. I rarely use a mobile phone but I always have a book in my bag, and if I'm not meeting a friend at the park I'll read it while they play.

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