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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to move away after my partner's affair?

29 replies

TheLittleMatchGirl · 01/04/2026 20:35

My partner has been cheating on me and as result of that, he got the other women pregnant, he confessed because the child is now here, and it’s obvious that he wants to play a role in that childs life.

Him and I, already have children together, our eldest being 11 years of age. His mother whom I have a good relationship with, has assured me that she didn’t know about this before hand and if she did, she would have told me, I believe her.

I am really not coping at the moment, due to the shock and devastation, but I WILL get to the stage where I will be able to cope by myself.

I can no longer stay in the family house, I just want to take my children and leave and start a new life, as far away as possible.

Because staying here, and having to see him is going to break me, he is already broken up our family and the children are asking questions.

I never ever thought that something like this would happen to me, and I don’t know why he has done this to us.

OP posts:
DugnuttEyeBoogies · 06/04/2026 11:50

I read something about grief that said Do Not make any big life changing decisions in the first year after a bereavement as you need time and space for everything to settle down. I think this sounds a similar level of emotional upheaval.
This experience is a huge shock for you so take your time, get support from your loved ones, let yourself think through the practicalities. Your kids may need stability and routine more than ever plus their own friends around them.

Shark321 · 24/07/2026 10:17

Please do not make any decisions right now. Please do not feel any shame. That is for him, not you. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Being practical, you need to get the finances separated asap. If you have a savings account make sure he can’t drain it. Remove him off all of the bills and make sure everything is being paid. Is the house rented or owned? Look at what you need to do to keep a roof over your heads.

Please speak to a trusted friend. Send a text that says “this is a really hard message to send to you but this has happened. Please only respond by text as I’m unable to talk right now but I need a friend”

This feels raw right now but you will get through this.

Your husband is a c*nt!

ivegotthisyeah · 24/07/2026 10:51

Aw this happened to me!!
i did stay in the same town and have to co parent with the cunt but I hate him.
the kids however ( who know nothing) think he’s god and walks on water.
you will be ok and you will get through this and be happier.
i felt embarrassed but Jesus the only real embarrassment is him isn’t it !
pathetic selfish twats they are

Besidemyselfwithworry · 24/07/2026 10:57

TheLittleMatchGirl · 01/04/2026 20:57

Thanks for the support, yes I live close to friends and family. I haven’t told anyone yet due to the embarrassment and I don’t know how and when I will tell them.

So is he still living with you and your kids or this other woman and the baby?

I can’t see how you can stay with him after this I know I wouldn’t want to! He’s a liar and a cheat and you and your children deserve better.

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