Overwhelmed with house move

[stresshousemove]

I'm a lone mum and bought my first house, which I've been doing up. It is more dilapidated than I thought and much harder to wrestle into shape, though I have made it safe and clean and warm. I've got to move as I can't afford any more time renting/paying both. But I'm worried about so many things.

1. All the little things I haven't managed to get fixed. There's a whole room to be done yet, the path to the front door needs doing, sash windows repariring etc. Will I be able to do these once I'm in?
2. Fear of the unknown. I'm really sad to leave our area but the house is too small and I am pouring rent down the sink.
3. I'm also worried about if there's going to be a house price crash, like people are saying. Maybe I did this at exactly the wrong time, and things will go wrong.

I have no family and the kids' dad is off the scene, so I am really alone (bar some friends). Does anyone have wise words? Should I rescind on my notice until it is all really finished?

When you move in there will come a time when you think “What have I done?!”. We all have it, it’s a perfectly normal response to such a big change. Just try to focus on the positives and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to turn it into a show home overnight.

It's normal to have a little freak out. Comfort yourself with that though. And congratulations!

Those sound like things that don't make the house short term unliveable. You should be good to sort them as you go. And you'll enjoy them being nice all the more for having had them as they are now.

Once you're in your own home, it doesn't matter what it is worth , you've got a stable roof over your head. You will find that home ownership comes with repair maintenance bills so best to start a fund for that .

The thing is, it is only intended to be a home for a decade until the kids leave school, so it is all geared towards that.

Absolutely normal to live in a house while doing it up so don't worry about that.

When I was a (lone) FTB I spent 3-months with the help of my Ddad doing the essentials to make the house even partly habitable before I could move in, the rest was done room by room as time & money allowed.

Don't get too involved about what the housing market may (or may not) do in the future.
Get your own place, make it your own and start chipping away at the mortgage instead of throwing money away in rent.

Stop paying rent and move in. Every month's rent you pay your landlord, is money you could be spending on doing up your own house. It's the perfect time of year to get in there, the weather is better and you can crack on.

I moved into an absolute mouldy wreck which was all I could afford with tiny kids, no hot water or heating in a sub zero brutal January, and we didn't get any until April. We heated and hung out in one room, and pretended we were camping. Got there in the end, don't spend any more money on rent, plough it all into the house and get it done.

If the front path and the sash windows are the biggest outstanding issues, then the house has been ready to move into for a while. Change is scary, unsettling and overwhelming, but time to put on your brave girl pants and bite the bullet!

wow, @Mitherations !! That is so incredibly brave. I wish you were my mum! 😰

If I did what you have done as a single mum, I would be so damn proud of myself.

Congratulations! Owning your own home is brilliant. You can paint it all bright pink, rip the doors out and put a swing in the living room if you fancy it.

Necessity is the mother of invention, and there was no other choice! It was ridiculous when I look back, but the kids don't have any memories of it other than washing in a tin bath which I dragged out of the garden and scrubbed out, and all sleeping in a double mattress on the floor together which they thought was bloody brilliant, plus the TV being in the bedroom, which was also excellent, so don't stress, the kids will be fine if you are. x

I think that's the problem, I'm currently not fine. It's a step too many of stress for me, I am tearful and fearful.

I do know that as soon as I rally, the kids will feel safe anywhere with me. I learnt that from the abusive divorce, and all the other stuff.

The thing about a house price crash is that it affects most properties. So if there is one, then it won't just be your house that's worth less in 10 years when you come to sell. It'll be the one your looking to buy as well. And in the meantime, you won't have spent 10 years of rent.

I bought my first home about 2 months before the 2008 crash. Yeah, I could have saved some money by waiting a while, but I had no way of knowing that at the time. And it didn't affect my finances long term because when I sold it to buy a new one, the market had recovered.

As for whether you should move in now or not. Just do it. You're a homeowner now. There will always be jobs to do on your house, something that needs fixing, decorating. You just have to do it while living there, and put up with a bit of mess (or a building site for a kitchen!)

Ridiculous to be paying rent !

STOP

Move in

You have come this far. Think back, I'm sure that there was a point where owning a home that needed a bit of fixing up that you and the kids could move into immediately was THE DREAM. Moving house is nonsense, renovating is stressful, for anyone but it sounds like you're nearly there and you can't stay in rented, you're doing yourself a massive disservice to keep paying rent to the landlord, when you have a viable alternative waiting for you.

If there’s heat, running water and a (semi) working bathroom/kitchen, then move in! You’d be doing the right thing and saving a fortune. Every house we moved into as kids had walls knocked down, chimney breasts removed once we’d moved in. If you can cook, wash, be warm, do it, you’ll be fine.

If it’s safe clean and warm then just move in ! You can do all the jobs as you go along /as you have the money to do it etc. good luck!

Firstlt congratulations on buying your new home. You have successfully secured a home for your children and yourself. It is only natural to be anxious. We all are anxious moving home.

Rome was not built in a day. Can you manage without the room that is not finished? As long as electrics and plumbing are safe and house is habitable move in. Just ensure path is safe.

People have been predicting a house price crash since the early 00s, op.
Even after the global financial crisis in 2008 there was a slump (not crash), but by 2012 prices were trending up again.
Congrats on your house. There will always be stuff to do...we are coming up to summer so the weather makes outside stuff easier.

You're a lone mum and you have bought a home and done all this yourself, you're amazing! You've got this. Move in to your home and enjoy! It will probably be easier to do those last few bits when you are in.

I’m sending hugs OP!

As others have said, house move stress, doubts, second thoughts are all normal. You’re 100% doing the right thing buying your own place. About a potential market crash down the line, nobody can predict this and to an extent it doesn’t matter. We all need a place to live in. I get how daunting a mortgage feels, but living in rented accommodation can also get very stressful and unsafe (eg landlord deciding to sell) and would also affected by housing market situation. You’re 100% doing the right thing.

Is there any chance you’re struggling with anxiety or depression beyond the house move? I’m not a doctor but just wondering if there was anything you’d find helpful to discuss with your GP.

To add my own experience, I had 100% the same fears as you prior to buying my first house after yeeeeeears of renting. The stress was crazy for a couple months and I was playing all those scenarios in my head. Then once we started unpacking and picking paint colours and going to IKEA for furniture, honestly I don’t even remember what I was stressing about. Looking after your own house is 100% worth it. Enjoy it and feel happy and accomplished, it’s a massive thing you’ve achieved buying your own house! ✌🏻👌🏻❤️

Thank you for these nice messages x

I might keep coming back for support as I move.