I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives because I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive or if something genuinely feels off.
This is my first baby and I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant. I’m also in a committed long-term relationship and we were both really happy when we found out.
However, before I got pregnant, my co-worker had been going through issues with her husband cheating. For around 6 months, Monday to Friday, I listened to her talk about it constantly. I supported her, listened, gave advice and tried to be there for her.
I’ll be honest — hearing about cheating every day actually started to affect me mentally. I found myself questioning my own relationship and worrying about things I hadn’t previously worried about. It even caused arguments between me and my partner, which looking back, only really started happening during that period of constantly hearing about her situation.
Then I found out I was pregnant — and that’s when things seemed to change.
When I first told her, she said she was happy for me. However, her energy and reactions didn’t always match that. Whenever I spoke about my pregnancy, she would often:
- Redirect the conversation back to when she was pregnant (she has a 3-year-old daughter)
- Talk about her own experience instead of engaging with mine
- Bring up trauma from her previous pregnancy or relationship issues
- Say that my pregnancy made her think about how happy she was when she found out she was pregnant, before her husband cheated on her
For example, I’d mention something positive about my pregnancy and she’d end up crying and talking about:
- Her partner cheating when she was pregnant
- Her previous pregnancy experience
- Her relationship issues
It started to feel like my pregnancy moments were being turned into her experiences.
Then something else happened which made me question things further.
I waited until I was around 20 weeks before telling most people at work. Around that same time, she then announced she was 1–2 weeks pregnant and went around telling the same coworkers I had just told.
I also found it odd because she said she was surprised she was pregnant and kept asking her husband “what did you do?” as if it hadn’t really been planned.
She then started:
- Asking which private scans I had booked
- Asking where I went for my gender scan
- Booking the same scans shortly afterwards
Unfortunately she then went on to miscarry, which was obviously very sad.
However, after this, her behaviour seemed to shift again. She suddenly started:
- Wanting to bond with me over pregnancy
- Talking more about babies and pregnancy with me (which she hadn’t really done before)
Then recently, she told me that two of her family members had announced pregnancies and she is now trying to get pregnant again.
She has even asked me:
- When I conceived
- My due date timing
She mentioned she wants to time it so she can also be on maternity leave next summer, as I am going on maternity leave in June for the summer this year.
There have also been other comparisons:
- When I mentioned wanting a natural birth, she suddenly wanted the same
- I said I might keep the gender a surprise — she then said she would too
- I mentioned hoping my partner might propose around my baby shower/30th — she then immediately spoke about renewing vows and her own 30th (which is 2 years away)
It just feels like whenever I share something about my pregnancy or future, she brings it back to herself or mirrors it.
I’m still being friendly and professional, but I’ll be honest — I don’t really like her anymore. I find her draining and the comparisons uncomfortable, especially during what should be a happy time for me.
Am I overthinking this, or does this sound like someone reacting to my pregnancy?
Would really appreciate honest opinions.