AIBU or are they CF?

[Wholetthatgoatin]

So the end of February a couple weeks ago know were due to come over for Sunday lunch. The Friday before they texted saying one of them was laid low with a virus and the other had a migraine. I said no problem, hope you feel better soon etc. and she texted about let’s set another date. I suggested the next weekend that worked for us and she left me on read.

Around 11 on the day I’d mentioned she texted saying ‘sorry I didn’t get back to you, we were away last week and we’re at church now. I replied ‘no worries, let me know some dates to reschedule’. No reply.

AIBU for thinking that the lunch hadn’t been arranged because we hadn’t discussed times etc. or are they CF thinking lunch would be waiting even though there had been no communication to confirm.

yes, it’s first world problems. Saves me from focus on the horrors going on in the world.

I didn’t really understand the first paragraph but if you’ve asked them to work out some dates, leave the ball in their court. Maybe they’re just not that interested.

You think they wanted to come for lunch from church? I think it sounds more like they are doing the bare minimum of politeness to avoid coming for lunch.

It’s rude and they could have responded earlier

They didn’t want to come, they were just keeping in low contact

I didn't read they thought there will be lunch ready? She just said they have been busy.
but in any case, they are not interested in having lunch with you.

I also read it that they had plans, weren’t expecting to come to lunch after church, and it sounds like they don’t really want to come for lunch at all. Just stop inviting them. Not sure where the CF bit was tbh.

Nothing in their text indicated they were still expecting to come to lunch!

Why do you think they were expecting to come for lunch?

I had left the ball in their court, and hadn’t heard from them in about 6 months. Then she got in touch and initiated a few meet ups. This was returning the favour. They are like this, don’t talk or reply to texts for ages, the. Out of the blue start chatting/initiating stuff. Bizarre

Because it seemed a bit odd texting after ignoring the previous message. Why bother? It’s already long past when you’d respond. I don’t get it.

Just don’t reply next time as you don’t seem to like them anyway.

Not sure how you got this? I’m just confused with the blowing hot and cold - I feel like if you don’t want to be around us, don’t keep reaching out again!

Well you are calling them cheeky fuckers and think their behaviour is bizarre for a start.

They were probably just checking in to let you know they weren't coming in case you were sat there waiting for them.

They are fair weather friends, they like you, just can take you or leave you. They want to keep in touch, but not make any effort. Leave them to it, text if they text.

They don’t want to come to lunch, they’re just making a token effort to be polite.

I don’t agree. They reached out after months of no contact and suggested meet ups etc again.

I am sorry but they do not want to come to lunch

They're not interested in doing Sunday lunch with you.

They migjt not want to do Sunday lunch but would go for another time or format; or they just might not be thst into you.

You don't say how, or how well, you know them. But they aren't really showing much keenness for a get-together with you. I'd let them go.

Sorry I really do not understand your post at all!

Yeah they thought reaching out and arranging meet-ups sounded good at the time but when the time actually came to meeting-up they couldn’t be bothered.

I'm with previous posters. There was nothing in their message to suggest they were planning on coming for lunch that day. It's a bizarre interpretation of the text.

It's not confirmed if it hasn't been acknowledged as confirmed by them. I don't think they were expecting to come to lunch that day. TBH, they don't sound that interested.

Just disengage from the whole thing - they don't want to do the lunch.

Do they tend to ask for favours/money/something only you can do when they do make contact after the long hiatus? It sounds to an outsider like they don't want to socialise with you so what's in it for them to restart the contact cycle?