AIBU to ask for hopeful stories about life after divorce?

[YellowScarf]

I’m sitting in a cafe waiting for DC. I’m in the process of divorcing my STBX husband (thanks in part to lovely MN folk pointing out that certain behaviours are actually abusive) who is being really nasty. At every opportunity he is trying to make out I’m a bad parent. DC don’t see him - teenagers - their choice. I don’t bad mouth him but they experienced his nastiness first hand. He’s convinced (or says he is) that I have turned them against him. He’s so antagonistic and I’m putting boundaries in but everytime I’m shaky - the adrenaline is unstoppable.

Today I’m feeling ground down. No regrets re divorce. At all. And he warned ne he wouldn’t be kind. But dear god he is being cruel. Punishing me and DC.

AIBU to ask for your stories of coming out the otherside please?

I’m not after happily ever after with a new man. I’m not letting a man anywhere near my life again. I want peace. I want cats. I want to paint. I want to create a beautiful home. I want to enjoy music and friendship. I’ve got very little spare cash at the moment thanks to him but I’ll be ok I think.

Please give me some hope if you can. Your story or your friends. Whoever.

I’m blissfully divorced OP. DD now here with me full time. I sit in silence drinking coffee, never tire of the peace.
It took a while to get to this point, keep going you’ll get there.

OP, my divorce was an absolute nightmare - my ex kept dragging me back to court - after fourteen times, I stopped counting. He then wouldn’t put in for the decree absolute, despite having insisted that he was to divorce me (it was only my solicitor who stopped him from retrieving the first papers for the decree nisi on spurious grounds - he had got the cut of his jib and told the court officials that under no circumstances were they to let him have the papers back) - so it just dragged on at vast expense and at the time, it was like living in a nightmare. But it does come to an end, and you do get out the other side and get your life back, so hang on in there, OP. It will come to an end.

Thank you. Peace and quiet is what im
after. I yearn for boring! Thanks for sharing.

Oh my! What a hideous man. I’m so sorry you went through that and I’m so glad you are out the other side.

I am trying to do it through mediation… time will tell.