Not visiting someone in hospital

[Letloose2024]

Why don’t you visit your partner in hospital?

Is it the smell? (of hospital)
Is it that you haven’t been in hospital yourself?
is it you are scared?
Does the partner tell you not to come?!

Maybe transport issues or childcare?

What makes you ask?

Are you in hospital yourself?

True, my mate was so stressed yesterday his teenage kids were kind of playing up their Mum.

he is so far away, hospital wise.

his lymphoedema is triple mine.

I just feel sorry.

I think sometimes it's a family "culture".
Both of my parents spent a lot of time in hospital in my tween/teen years and the expectation was that immediate family go every day. Me, my dad and grandparents would go and sit on the ward for at least 2 hours a day with my mum and similar for my dad when it was his turn. It was company, a supply run opportunity, a distraction and to hand hold through the sharp scratches and NHS dinners. But it was an every day thing without question.
My partners father had a stroke again recently and he would go days without seeing anyone - not that I think he was overall bothered but after mentioning how bizarre I found it it turns out that all of their family have been like that forever. They will visit but it will not be regular and it will be for 15 minutes. Couldn't get over it!

I don’t really understand your post, but I’d like to think that I’d always visit a partner in hospital.
If, for whatever reason I felt I couldn’t, I’d just need to get over that.

I wont even go to hospital for my own appointments. The noise, smell, bustle, cost of a taxi is too much. Your chances of my visiting you are very low.

I think it’s different nowadays with mobile phones. I’ve had a couple of very short stays in the past few years, and being able to text or facetime meant I could have a private chat with family whenever it suited us, rather than worry about childcare, travel and parking arrangements, etc to suit visiting times.

Probably would feel differently if I was in for any length of time

Practicalities. Work and childcare are the big ones. Otherwise people should visit, assuming the person is in for more than a couple of days.

Transport problems meant DW did not visit me.
Since I was well aware of them, and we could chat on the phone, it didn't really bother me.

This is quite an odd thread and I don't think you're really in a position to make judgements about your friend's situation.

But FWIW, I was in hospital for two weeks last year and the reason my DP didn't visit me much (I think he came about four times, and one of those was only to bring me stuff I needed) was because I didn't really want him to. We messaged each other so we were constantly in touch, but I didn't want him sitting on a chair by my bed every night while I was feeling ill. I mostly just wanted to be on my own. I was in a lot of pain and I just wanted to lie there listening to audiobooks most of the time.