To think regular breaks is one of the positives?

[PizzaAtNighttime]

My ex is not involved so therefore has never had our children overnight meaning I haven’t had a single night to myself in 10 years. I was speaking to a few single parents who seemed to think I would hate having time to myself and that it’s horrible being away from your kids. Do all single parents feel this way? What about with grandparents etc or is it only when they are with their father? I feel like the only parent who would love regular breaks to myself and find myself feeling jealous of single parents that get regular breaks. AIBU to think regular breaks is one of the positives of being a single parent? (Co parent)

A couple of hours wouldnt really cut it for me anyway dont really class that as a break i mean every other weekend etc 50/50 would be great 😅 i think it needs to be overnight to actually feel meaningful

I am not a single parent but I can absolutely see how you would feel this way. You're 100% responsible when the kids are with you. If they're hungry or ill or bored or tired or fighting, that's all you dealing with every minute of it, even if you yourself are tired or ill etc. Of course the breaks would be absolutely critical for your mental health and general well being. The people you're describing must have support networks in place (family etc.) that give them space so it's less of an acute need for them to have some time apart.

Yeah I do always wonder if the people claiming they want to be with their kids 24/7 and hate when they are away actually have supportive family who will have them when they need a break or have appointments and meetings to attend and have no one to have them so have to drag all their kids with them (yes mine are getting older now but I spent year having to do this because I had no one to watch them)

I love the time I get to myself on the every other weekends when my DC go to stay with their Dad; ideally the weekend would be 3 days instead of 2, then I’d really feel rested.

If I didn't think the dad was good enough to be my husband, I definitely wouldn't want him with the kids! If he's not good enough for me, he's not good enough for them. And if he abandoned me, I wouldn't trust him with them anyway.
I prefer to allow each other breaks, so the odd night/weekend he goes out while I look after the kids alone, or he stays home to relax if he prefers, and then he does the same for me another time. Sometimes we might pay a sitter so we can go out together. If we're a couple, we should have more money anyway (as we'd only be running one household/one set of bills). Most of my friends are either single parents (with the ex never involved) or in a couple, but friends who have an ex who has the kid some days seem to have a really hard time, with the ex always causing issues/upsetting the kids about new partners etc (yes, I know I only hear their side of things, but I feel really sorry for the stuff they have to put up with).

i think I’d put up with any of that just to get some time to myself before I got crazy 🤪 only half joking

He has literally never had them overnight in begged him to take our eldest because he was struggling with the split and smashed up my house i said to my ex you need to take him for one night just one to give everyone a break he said pack him a bag I thought FINALLY he put him in the car spoke to him for five minutes took him out said he wont do it again he promises and sent him back in the house I argued with him he said no its fine he wont do it again and drove off I went back inside ds was ripping his wallpaper off

I never asked again

They are useless, my ex saw having them overnight as giving me a break and doing me a favour and (rather than spending time with his own kids) well he wasn’t going to do that! I should be punished 🤦‍♀️

What a fucking prick your ex is. I hate men like this I really do. Fucking useless pieces of shit.

I was so jealous of my single parent friends who got EOW and a night in the week off, I'd lie in bed fantasising about leaving my partner. If that makes you feel validated at all.

That does help, helps to know im not alone in my thinking I feel so jealous of people that have regular breaks