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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU I got bait and switched?

77 replies

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 16:33

I just stated my new role, and everything was absolutely fine. During the interview they asked me if I had experience doing “x” and I said yeah no problem, as sometimes I’d have to help with that.

So today, day 1 - it turns out it’s a proper hybrid role and nobody has a clear explanation. I don’t meet my manager until tomorrow quite late in the afternoon and the meantime HR has just sign posted me to my manager.

I was on a call with someone earlier today and the first thing she told me was that she knew it was a “hybrid role” which I did tell her that I was news to me as I know it was more a “helping hand” but I had a core role.

She then cut the call short, but offered to ask HR, and said I’d do that myself.

So AIBU that it’s bait and switch?

for reference I would given the situation still take the role even though it would technically be a downgrade for me.

OP posts:
Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 18:41

KilkennyCats · 30/03/2026 18:39

Leadership journey? Confused

Yes, I’ve been improving titles as I’ve gone on my professional journey. Theoretically this roles I just started was a “proto” leadership role.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 30/03/2026 18:44

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 18:41

Yes, I’ve been improving titles as I’ve gone on my professional journey. Theoretically this roles I just started was a “proto” leadership role.

Is it just me that can't understand the OP posts?

What's a proto role?

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 18:45

BlueMum16 · 30/03/2026 18:44

Is it just me that can't understand the OP posts?

What's a proto role?

Like “pre leadership “ so new hires would sit underneath me

OP posts:
Maxme · 30/03/2026 18:54

Unless you have a different offer lined up, I would highlight this but fill the gaps for now. Make it clear you do not see yourself doing the other role long term and offer to help someone more junior train into it. If no action in a couple of months start looking for another role.

Unless you are in a role where juniors are being replaced by AI like marketing - then I would suck it up and look to move sideways.

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 19:07

Maxme · 30/03/2026 18:54

Unless you have a different offer lined up, I would highlight this but fill the gaps for now. Make it clear you do not see yourself doing the other role long term and offer to help someone more junior train into it. If no action in a couple of months start looking for another role.

Unless you are in a role where juniors are being replaced by AI like marketing - then I would suck it up and look to move sideways.

That’s what I’ve done. I’ve said that I’m happy to get trained and help (or even do the job) but it wasn’t what I expected.

i was expecting being full role A that occasionally helps role B, not an AB role.

OP posts:
MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:30

So confused...honestly think you should delete this thread and start a new one and explain it from the start.

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 19:31

MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:30

So confused...honestly think you should delete this thread and start a new one and explain it from the start.

What is it that you don’t understand?

OP posts:
MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:35

I don't understand this:

In my sector my role (where my experience is) is seen as a step up (and normal progression) . The salaries are also always half of that of my actual line of work.

It's also not in your job description? Or title? So maybe wait and see what your manager says, the other person may have it wrong

MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:36

Or this

Like “pre leadership “ so new hires would sit underneath me

What industry is it?

Campbellcarrotsoup · 30/03/2026 19:36

Im not having trouble following at all Op. I think you also need to consider what a mediocre man would say in this scenario. I dont think you need to be super accommodating. Assert that you're happy to train someone else in the lower role. And also don't do that part of the job super well so you're stuck with it.

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 19:37

MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:35

I don't understand this:

In my sector my role (where my experience is) is seen as a step up (and normal progression) . The salaries are also always half of that of my actual line of work.

It's also not in your job description? Or title? So maybe wait and see what your manager says, the other person may have it wrong

So I explained it as Role A is seen as more senior and with better career progression than Role B.

I was told I was definitely role A with helping if needed (this being the key word) role B.

i was told today by one person that my role is AB.

HR would not give an actual answer

OP posts:
Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 19:47

MyJollyMentor · 30/03/2026 19:36

Or this

Like “pre leadership “ so new hires would sit underneath me

What industry is it?

I spoke in tech, so “founding “ employees become leader by default. Although this is not a startup

OP posts:
Holidaymodeon · 30/03/2026 20:24

This happened to me, sadly I left too long between leaving my old role and starting my new one so missed the window to get my old job back.
i found out on day one that my job is completely different from the one i applied for.
gutted that I gave up something else more secure but boring for something completely chaotic, without the governance I thought was there , run by an egomaniac who is stuck in early 90s working styles.
I was in such a good position before and am struggling to find a way out

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 30/03/2026 21:42

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 19:37

So I explained it as Role A is seen as more senior and with better career progression than Role B.

I was told I was definitely role A with helping if needed (this being the key word) role B.

i was told today by one person that my role is AB.

HR would not give an actual answer

HR should be giving you an answer.

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 21:43

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 30/03/2026 21:42

HR should be giving you an answer.

They just told me to ask my manger :/

OP posts:
ValueofNothing · 30/03/2026 22:06

Hold out til you can speak to your manager and make sure you have your job description (the one in your contract) to hand when you do.

There may have been a misunderstanding with the other employees. Alternatively if it's truly a bait and switch, you are well within your rights to point out to them that this was not what you signed up for.

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 22:41

ValueofNothing · 30/03/2026 22:06

Hold out til you can speak to your manager and make sure you have your job description (the one in your contract) to hand when you do.

There may have been a misunderstanding with the other employees. Alternatively if it's truly a bait and switch, you are well within your rights to point out to them that this was not what you signed up for.

I just checked the job description and there’s no mention of doing two roles at the same time.

theres a very small mention of being “technically savvy” but that’s about it.

OP posts:
ValueofNothing · 30/03/2026 23:29

Donotfitin · 30/03/2026 22:41

I just checked the job description and there’s no mention of doing two roles at the same time.

theres a very small mention of being “technically savvy” but that’s about it.

Edited

Definitely point that out to your manager. I'd be inclined to act like you think there's been a mistake, rather than go in assuming they've lied or anything like that.

Don't let them browbeat you into thinking you signed up for a hybrid role when you didn't. You can acknowledge you said you were happy to help out with the other job on occasion, but that's it.

Hopefully things will get cleared up, but if they start acting like you signed up for this, or agreed to it, or insist the role was always hybrid (gaslighting, I suppose), I'd think hard about whether you want to stay in a company that would lie to get you on their books.

Donotfitin · 31/03/2026 08:24

ValueofNothing · 30/03/2026 23:29

Definitely point that out to your manager. I'd be inclined to act like you think there's been a mistake, rather than go in assuming they've lied or anything like that.

Don't let them browbeat you into thinking you signed up for a hybrid role when you didn't. You can acknowledge you said you were happy to help out with the other job on occasion, but that's it.

Hopefully things will get cleared up, but if they start acting like you signed up for this, or agreed to it, or insist the role was always hybrid (gaslighting, I suppose), I'd think hard about whether you want to stay in a company that would lie to get you on their books.

My current theory is that the colleague to told me it was a hybrid role “misused” the word hybrid because:

a) I met another colleague who told me she was moving into a hybrid role too but she had no idea of why or how it would work (she also had no idea whatsoever of how to do the role I was hired for)

b) during my interview I asked my manager if many people in role B progressed into role A (as it’s a natural progression in many companies) and she thought it was an odd question, and that it had never happened before. She even asked if I wanted to be role B and I said no, “I’m role A through and through”

OP posts:
ThirdStorm · 31/03/2026 08:42

I hope your meeting with your manager today gives you some clarity. Then you can decide what you want.

I would also feel mis sold if a role I'd accepted on one basis suddenly had more junior activity attached to it that I hadn't agreed to. I don't want anyone to think I'm arrogant but I've worked for over 20 years to get the qualifications, experience and knowledge needed for the role I perform, I'm not interested in more junior duties, I could do them, I simply don't want to and my experience affords me choice.

I can't help but wonder how many women find themselves in this "bait and switch" situation and we're expected to suck it up otherwise we're seen as unreasonable. Not unreasonable, just knowing our self worth.

Donotfitin · 31/03/2026 08:50

ThirdStorm · 31/03/2026 08:42

I hope your meeting with your manager today gives you some clarity. Then you can decide what you want.

I would also feel mis sold if a role I'd accepted on one basis suddenly had more junior activity attached to it that I hadn't agreed to. I don't want anyone to think I'm arrogant but I've worked for over 20 years to get the qualifications, experience and knowledge needed for the role I perform, I'm not interested in more junior duties, I could do them, I simply don't want to and my experience affords me choice.

I can't help but wonder how many women find themselves in this "bait and switch" situation and we're expected to suck it up otherwise we're seen as unreasonable. Not unreasonable, just knowing our self worth.

EXACTLY!! Plus he’s I can do the other job but I don’t enjoy it for me to choose it as a career path.

part of the annoyance is that nobody seems to have an answer and they just refer me back to my manager.

and it’s not a startup, where it’s technically more common (to wear multiple hats).

OP posts:
ThirdStorm · 31/03/2026 08:54

So frustrating. I wonder if they think they can deflect you long enough that you'll just accept it all. I think you have to decide if this is the hill you are prepared to die on. I know long term it would make me miserable but that's me, I have no patience or tolerance! I think you could set firm boundaries at todays meeting about what activity you were hired for and what you won't be doing, but you may find they fail your probation. All unfair of course but they clearly want the other activity doing. What a waste of your time and your time.

Clarinet1 · 31/03/2026 09:15

I’ve not had anything like this happen with a role itself but I have twice had swift changes of manager shortly after starting a job - once on day 3!
This definitely made the atmosphere on
the team and the working style totally different to
what I had expected. I stayed in both jobs for a while because I needed the money but my general happiness and mental health ended up the gutter.
In your case, OP, I think you need to weigh up a few things; How much do you really dislike the unexpected part of the role if you’re gettng some experience doing what you wanted and the right pay? How easy will it be to find another role if
you jump ship? Could you eventually mould the job to be more want?
Good luck!

Donotfitin · 31/03/2026 09:24

ThirdStorm · 31/03/2026 08:54

So frustrating. I wonder if they think they can deflect you long enough that you'll just accept it all. I think you have to decide if this is the hill you are prepared to die on. I know long term it would make me miserable but that's me, I have no patience or tolerance! I think you could set firm boundaries at todays meeting about what activity you were hired for and what you won't be doing, but you may find they fail your probation. All unfair of course but they clearly want the other activity doing. What a waste of your time and your time.

All things considered I would just keep
the job and give my best, but would still leave some sour taste in my mouth.

the KPIs between the two roles are vastly different

OP posts:
KilkennyCats · 31/03/2026 10:12

Donotfitin · 31/03/2026 08:50

EXACTLY!! Plus he’s I can do the other job but I don’t enjoy it for me to choose it as a career path.

part of the annoyance is that nobody seems to have an answer and they just refer me back to my manager.

and it’s not a startup, where it’s technically more common (to wear multiple hats).

You say job A is a step up for you, though, do you actually have the relevant experience already?

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