Regular place cast of characters

[Telephonelightflashing]

I go swimming daily and there are a cast of characters at my pool who are :
Grumpy Glasses lady : swims nearby the steps and shouts at anyone for any small misdemeanor. TikTok man: he swims 2 lengths then has 5 minutes on tiktok. Gear Guy: he arrives at the end of the fast lane and lays out all his equipment including 2 drinks and some feet flippers then sets his watch up etc then he swims in the WORST way like gasping and splashing (I actually thought it was a hidden camera prank the first time I saw him) The Canoodlers : a couple who just snog the whole time. Sauna Oof Man : in the sauna he just says 'oof' every 10 seconds as if its really not enjoyable for.him.
Do you go anywhere regularly where there are a cast of annoying or interesting or fascinating characters?
THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED
Yes, I know each to their own etc etc

I used to go to the pool which had

Old Slow Man In The Fast Lane, going up and down the walls instead of round in circles. He'd do his slooooooow head up breast stroke up and down, oblivious to the fast swimmers.

Nice But Dim Lifeguards when asked about OSMITFL they would just shrug.
I asked them to move the lane signs, to make his the slow one... They were terribly confused, and could only reply "but.... This is the fast lane" 😂

Also at the supermarket, every week I see Angry Mum, who will no doubt be calling her small children idiots and cunts.

Then there's Nodding Smiling Man in the village.

Oh and the Waving Dog Walker... That DD and He wave at each other, for some reason we're always in the opposite side of the road.

Oh and there's George Who Lives At The End of the Road.

He's George, we say good morning/hello/lovely weather etc

We know he's called George because his wife calls for him a lot. "GEORGE! CUPPA TEA!".

I hardly see anyone since my children left primary school but there were a couple of characters (aside from the parents obviously) that I saw most days. There was the man who used to be a ‘catch’ in his day - Gorgeous George - and used to wander around the library car park where I parked at drop off/pick up times. He would show everyone photos of when he was young and handsome and a bodybuilder. He was a lovely man. Just lonely. Then there was Cute Pug Dog Man who stood in the bus shelter every day talking to everyone and never got on a bus, just wandered off and came back when a new queue formed. Again, lonely. And there was Chatty Anne who had entire conversations with herself. She used to dance about and twirl her umbrella and a couple of times I saw her drape herself over the metal barrier outside the school, with her legs kicking out behind her😆 She hung around, then quickly disappeared when the children started filing out.

Not people, but two cats down the road from us who were the Cray Twins. Both tabbies, both bullies.

In regards to Tik Tok Man, I'm amazed he's allowed a camera in the swimming pool. That's a big no in all the pools I've been to.

Loads of people bring their phones poolside and into the sauna/spa . The code to get into the spa is a qr code on your phone. He's not filming himself for tiktok, he's just watching it. I do think the phone thing is weird as I always think they'll get wet. Although lots of people have these big chunky waterproof cases

God yes. A group of men who go at the same time every morning, the time I like to go, and walk up and down the pool very very slowly, chatting and blocking the overtaking lane for everyone else. I hate them and have had to change the times I use the pool because of them. My name for them is ‘the wankers’. Also, there is seal man who does the crawl by putting his hands into the water flat, causing a big splash on anyone near. Also, full face heavy make up woman who I call the swan because she keeps her head so still and far above the water.

Neighbours. Awful Yacht Couple. Shakespeare Man (always rehearsing boomingly). The Squatters. Greenhouse Man (appears to spend all his time in his). Pink Coat Woman (MH issues, always wearing a pink coat with the hood up and shouting ‘You fucker!’) The Orcs (four giant rugby-playing sons). The South African Shouters (have a lot of barbecues, very loud Afrikaans dialogue). Nice Deliveroo People (two bedroom house but at least fifteen people seem to live there, all doing Deliveroo shifts, all enormously cheery and nice). Religious Maniac (plays amplified hymns in his garden on Sundays).

Oh yes. At my gym, we have Buttscrunch (girl who wears the lift and shape shorts but really doesn't need them so the effect is exaggerated), Manicure (I have no idea how she does anything without ripping her nails off), Hench Barbie (blonde, very pretty, looks like she's had some excellent sympathetic cosmetic work AND lifts heavy), Huge Angry Gym Bro (probably lovely but has resting angry face), Crash (consistently tries to lift weights he can't lift and so drops them with a massive crash), Bunny Boxer (shadow boxes between sets but does it with his little paws hooked over in a position that tells me he's never punched anything or he'd know it was a guaranteed way to break your wrists), the alpacas (group of teen boys who all have matching floppy topped haircuts), and the Roidasauruses (enormous, stack the machines with every plate in the gym and do 20 sets each with lots of grunting and cheering on).

"Oof man" is hilarious. Love this thread, though I feel I live in a boring place now!

Around my hood we have The Dapper Chap, Mrs Honeyman (the Trumpton character with the hundreds of small dogs), On the way to the Pub (v red face), Asbo and Roger (dh just calls him Roger, no idea why).

My favourite is the Running Man at dh's gym. He ignores the treadmills and just runs up and down between the equipment. Makes me want to join the gym just to witness this phenomenon 🤣.

I have a list of characters who live in my road!

There are the Posh Couple with their immaculate flower boxes and hanging baskets, there's Foghorn who I can hear every word she says when she's on the phone (and she's over the road). There's Perfect Family who like to park into my car. Her Next Door But One who is an absolute cow and sticks her beak into anything that has nothing to do with her. Oooooh I could go on but by the time I'd finished, you'd have my address in no time!

I’m sure I’ve listed our neighbours on a previous thread but we’ve got West Ham Man, Dot Woman, Strangler, Burner, Old Misery, Trappy, Celtic, Daddy Day Care, Wasteman and Trumpton

Oh my cod.
I go swimming and was always told that everyone is far too worried about themselves to care how i look at the pool.
Now im worried - im not a cf, but i probably do something snigger-worthy!

I’m sure all us gym goers all have ‘mangasm’ - the guy who makes the most grim groaning noises when lifting.

Hahahaaaa!!
This thread is hilarious!

Buttscrunch girl also goes to my gym. She spends ages pouting at herself and occasionally does a few squats to accentuate her already noticeable arse in tiny white shorts. She also has very long extensions and I wonder how hot & sweaty it must be with that lot swinging around…

There’s also Acrobat who spends half an hour on the treadmill. He’ll walk for 30 secs then spends the next 30 holding himself up on the side bars and swinging his feet. Baffling and bizarrely annoying.

Theres also lots of Beardy Bros - 20something men who are incredibly loud, have hipster beards and call each other ‘Bro’ a lot.

And Phone Zombies who sit on the machine I want to use for ages doom-scrolling and not actually doing any exercise. They earn a massive sigh and eyeroll from me (but they don’t notice as they’re too busy on their phones).

I find the gym equally annoying and fascinating at the same time.

I used to go to a prayer group and there was one woman who would whisper/mutter/groan "Oh God Yes!" When others were praying

I ended up praying with my hands covering my face because I was giggling so badly I was crying.