AIBU to feel really upset about this?

[raspberrylemonade4]

Hi

i appreciate this is probably a silly thing to post who at 1am but I’m just feeling absolutely heartbroken (ridiculous I know but still)

basically I left my job this weekend- a great place with great people, I was there for years and now it’s all come to an end. I’ve left because I’ve got a job offer for the same position elsewhere but a higher salary (significantly so- around 20k extra from what I’m getting right now.) I just can’t realistically turn down an increase like that particularly when I’m trying so hard to save for a mortgage etc

I’ve been so excited for my new job but hadn’t really appreciated until today how gutted I’d feel leaving my current place. When I read my card with lovely messages from my colleagues I just burst into tears as silly as that sounds and cried all the way home

I think I’m just so nervous now I’m making a huge mistake, or throwing away a great job just to get more money. My colleagues have become great friends over the years and now it’s sinking in that I won’t have that anymore. No mor banter at work or fun memories together

and as silly as it sounds, there’s a guy in particular at my work I’m really good friends with. We would have lunch together regularly at work, have great banter, hang out after work and he’s someone I’d consider one of my absolute best friends now. I’m going to miss him so much and I’m terrified we’ll drift apart now and it’s gutting to think I won’t get to see him everyday anymore

im just so worried ill be miserable in my new place and im throwing everything away just for money. I know it’s ridiculous to be upset about this at 1am but it’s all just swirling in my head and I can’t even sleep now because I’m so upset about it all!

has anyone ever had similar and have any advice? Thanks so much x

It’s not just for money, it’s to allow you to move forward in life.

You sound like you make friends easily, so it will be no different at your new workplace.

Keep in touch with your former colleagues too and enjoy the best of both worlds.

Mate get over it. You can always go back af another £20k more. Not such a good company that they paid you fairly was it

I left a great team and had exactly the same worries but I am still good friends with my manager despite living 5 hours apart. We make sure to see each other at least once every three months and go on trips together once a year. When I visit her, she would often organise a catch up with the rest of the team as well.
However, a move to a different job was really good for me and my new team is just as wonderful.

The thing is if you had stayed there would be nothing stopping several of those lovely colleagues including the bloke moving on themselves. Then you’re left still at the job, £20k worse off and none of the colleagues you stayed put for.

Well, some of your former workplace friendships probably won’t survive, but some will — surely if this guy you have lunch with is one of your best friends and you see him after work anyway, you’ll still see him, even if you don’t work together?

You can go meet them at a pub after work on thursday.
You can meet the guy you wish you were shagging for lunch or drinks or at the weekend.
You'll stay friends or you wont....

Follow the money. Invest while young get it compounding. In 20 years you wont be bothered / plagued with regret

I did this, and we still keep in touch.

Nothing stays the same forever. Your work colleagues will leave, new ones will start, things happen. Try not to overthink it.

Think of your life/career as a book with chapters. You're just finishing a chapter, starting a new one. It's progress. Friends likewise. People and situations evolve over time and you need to adjust, to make your life as good and happy as possible.

It'll all be ok. Yours, an older and (probably marginally) wiser person. 💐