Woke DH at 6AM

[exhausted256]

So I have a 9 month old who has been teething past few nights. She’s been upset, temperature, clingy, crying and basically attached to me. I’ve not slept in 3 days alongside trying to sort out activities for the older two kids (6 and 4) as I feel so bad the start to Easter holidays has been like this and they’re stuck in doors etc.

Basically my DH decided it was a good idea to go out on Saturday night and come back at 1AM. He was so inebriated he couldn’t even hold the baby (who was up again fussing) and just fell asleep. Essentially at 6AM all the kids woke up , and I just honestly couldn’t do it anymore. Walked in, screamed at him to wake up (which he did) handed him the baby, walked out and just collapsed on the sofa where I got 45 minutes of shut eye before having to get up and sort the kids out. He’s been moping all day telling me I’m heartless for waking him up at such an hour. AIBU or should he have the sense that he’s 40 years old, father of 3 and can’t live like a bloody bachelor anymore? I understand it’s a Saturday night but you have a crying baby, exhausted wife and kids on school holidays … I probably shouldn’t have shouted but seriously who’s in the wrong here?

He is. And you are for even thinking you might be.

Thank You! Sleep deprivation, seriously makes you question your own sanity

Of course he is in the wrong OP.

I don't understand these men who will watch their wives and partners dropping from exhaustion through looking after THEIR children and running the family home and they just don't give a damn. So selfish and uncaring. They don't love anyone but themselves. It makes me so angry.

Sorry hit the wrong option accidentally. He is 100% in the wrong here.

YANBU at all! It’s maddening isn’t it.
As i used to say to my partner when DD was a baby, if you go out getting drunk when you have young kids you take your chances and it’s his own fault.

I hope you are ok, and that you get some sleep soon
💕

If he chooses to rock up at 1am knowing he has 3 children at home (one teething) he’s an arse. He could have gone out and enjoyed himself without getting shit faced. It’s called being an adult. Poor little man child having got rat arsed the night before and being expected to parent his children… My heart bleeds for him. Tell him to get a grip and stop being a selfish arse.

Edited to add what he should have done was make sure you got a few hours sleep! Nip this behaviour in the bud now. All parents deserve time off but not when the other is sleep deprived .

He is, without a doubt, completely in the wrong.

Is he usually so selfish?

What an absolute joke, you didn't go far enough! All I will say is you're amazing, I honestly don't know how you juggle everything.

Always amazed at these threads. He didn’t go from 100% great DH/father to zero yet you still had 3 children. Just why?!

We all need to blow off steam, but its his responsibility to know when it's an appropriate time, and when it isn't, and if you've not slept in 3 days have have 3 kids to worry about, it really just isn't. I'd have done the same as you. You can't survive on fumes because he can't wait a couple weeks for a social life

He’s a selfish prick who doesn’t seem to give a shit that you’re on your last legs.

I think it depends on what he’s like most of the time.

If you are the one always ‘sorting’ everything and you’ve only just realised with your third child that actually you can’t do everything, then I’d say that’s on you for enabling it all this time. If you were a proper team, one night out wouldn't be the straw that broke the camel’s back.