AIBU about moving in with in-laws?

[CillaKL77]

We are a 4 person family with another baby on the way. We are desperate to buy own home and get onto the property ladder BUT... we have been renting for past year and have previously been living with my in laws in a very lovely house but overcrowded. My partner wants us to move back in to save enough money to enable us to buy, but I am I refusing this idea, I cannot fathom moving back in I need my own space my children need their own space but im constantly being made to feel like I am being unreasonable in voicing my disagreement.

I want nothing more than to move into our own home and save money but I cannot do so at the expense of my sanity. We have been gifted se half the money towards the deposit and need to save up the rest and my reasoning is just managing our finances and saving up where we can.

This is causing a huge uproar and I want to know am I being unreasonable?

YANBU

Stick to your guns.

I do not know a single woman who would happily move in with their in laws. Hold your ground.

If you were overcrowded before, it’ll be even worse when the new baby arrives.

How long will it take to save up the rest of the deposit?

No ...... as mumsnet says 'no is a full sentence" - nothing more to be said on the matter !!

Don't do it , it'll end in tears

You are not unreasonable. Your husband is wildly unreasonable.

He's fine with making you extremely uncomfortable and put you in an overcrowded living situation while pregnant.

How old are you guys?

Don’t do it but also be at peace by saying no it’s very unlikely that you’ll achieve buying a home
to late now but why get pregnant instead of if buying a home

Yanbu but on the other hand I wouldn't have had one baby before I owned my own home, never mind three.
How much longer will it take? You've been given half. If 6 months, I'd grit my teeth and move in with them. Longer and I'd stay put.

Can you look at shared ownership houses OP with a smaller deposit? Not sure if this is still a thing?

I wouldn’t. But it doesn’t seem good financial sense to have another baby whilst saving for a house, which I also assume means you need a bigger house

Do the in-laws even want you to move in?

You both seem to be making some odd choices for a couple who are supposedly desperate to buy their own house.

How long did you live with your in-law’s previously and how much did you save that time?

Who gifted the half of the deposit you already have?

What are your plans for work/childcare, are you solely relying on one income?

How long is your partner proposing you live with his parents? Have you both sat down with a calculator and worked out “if we live with the in-laws for X months we will be able to save X amount” or is it just some vague notion.

YABU

But I think you both need to be realistic. Even with some deposit already, it will be hard work to save up rest with 3 kids. Not impossible, but will certainly take some time as you will likely either be relying on one income or have childcare costs.

It's not unreasonable reasonable to not want to live overcrowded with in-laws for (realistically) a few years. I would get comfortable that for the foreseeable you are renters and moderate savers.

There is no way I would move in with inlaws with 2-3 kids (or even my own parents) if I could afford not to.

Why have you had 3 children before you’ve bought a house? Surely it would have been far easier to save for a house when you were childfree? How long will it take you to save the money you need to buy a house if you stay in rented accommodation versus living with in-laws? If you’re desperate to get on the property ladder, surely living with the in-laws is the answer?

I don't believe that anyone's in laws want them to move in as a family of 5, especially when one is a newborn?

Is there even really a genuine invite?

Yes, I agree.

Don't blame you, but saving for a deposit with three children must be difficult.