To think this man is not separated?

[Janesput]

In his 50s. Been "separated" from his wife of nearly 30 years for 3 years now, but they still live in the same house.

She's been away because of a family emergency this week, and he's telling people how lovely it's been, he's kept the house clean and tidy, done his own laundry, taken care of the pets, cooked his own meals.

So, if that's different to usual, they're not really separated at all? He tells us (friendship group) that she's struggling to accept it's over. I wonder why that could be?!

He also has a new GF, I wouldn't want to be her either.

Well they are separated, because they aren’t in a romantic relationship and he’s in a relationship with someone else. What is it to you anyway?

Does it matter what it is to me? He's been telling me (us) all his woes for 3 years and it's getting to the point where I want to say "what do you expect?".

I'm not convinced the wife really understands they're not in a romantic relationship either.

Then say that. It doesn’t mean they aren’t separated though. You don’t have to listen to his problems

Are you the one he’s in a relationship with while living with his “separated” wife?

Maybe she isn’t aware that they are separated because he hasn’t told her and has only told his girlfriend that.

No. No way I'd get in the middle of that situation

Well quite. He's also told lots of other people and says he's been clear with his wife, but I do wonder.

If he's that proud about 'looking after himself' for a few days, I reckon he's probably not that much of a catch anyway 🙄

Yes, I think that's what riled me. He's not being kind about his wife and he still has her running around after him. He does come across as a very nice man, the reason they're still in the same house is because he doesnt want to take the home she's made away from her. Or at least that's what he says.

It's all a bit disappointing tbh. When you think you know someone.

Plus the fact that the loser is still even living with her.

I feel like it’s quite common nowadays for people to do this though. I know a couple who didn’t want to sell their house so because he’s a joiner/builder by trade, he literally partitioned it so they have half each! It isn’t so unusual tbh, it’s expensive to find your own place and if they don’t tear each other to shreds then maybe they can live with it. Wouldn’t be for me personally but there you go.

I’m not sure how it’s anyone else’s business?

He’s having his cake, and eating it! Ie. He’s still living in the family home, getting washing done, meals cooked for him etc whilst playing the single man, having girlfriends etc.

What does he want? A badge? A trophy?

I get your point @Janesput

He gives out the “I’m such a decent bloke” spiel. But then the mask slips and the stories don’t quite add up. It may not be any of your business but it’s understandable that this has made you question what he says and does. He’s probably just another selfish little man.

My Aunt and Uncle divorced many years ago.
Up until they died, they still lived together. They had separate bedrooms but they still did everything else together-shopping, visiting,holidays.....she drove him everywhere. They even worked together. Could never understand why they bothered getting divorced......