AIBU for not wanting this child in my house?

[Ripeberry]

My DD1 is "best friends" with a boy down the road who is about 5 months older than her.
She has just turned 6 and is in the same class as him.
They've been friends since being at pre-school together and he has been over our house most afternoons for the last 3yrs.
His mum does not really care where he is as long as he's back by 6pm and his sisters seem to take "care" of him most of the time as she has to look after her elderly mother so i'm cutting her some slack.
But what's upsetting me, is that at school he is very nasty to my DD1, hitting, punching and pushing her all day long sometimes.
The teachers seem confused as one minute the both of them can be best friends and cry if seperated but then cry if made to be together.
Driving me potty!
Anyway, today he has been especially mean to her and a friend of mine who suppervises at lunchtime said that DD1 was very upset.
We had only just got in from the school run than there he was on the doorstep asking to come in.
I just told him that if the can't be nice to DD1 during the day, then he can't come over to play. Simple as that.
Another thing that concerns me, is that he is taking too much "interest" in DD2 and i mean of a sexual nature.
He's always tries to get DD2 alone with him and he will strip her and poke her bottom (this is what DD2 tells me, but she is only 3).
I've warned her NOT to let him do this and to tell me straight away.
I'm always keeping an eye on them but when you're preparing dinner it's difficult.
I've let DD1 go out and play with him outside (we have a large field next to us and i can see them right now), so at least they can play and he can't molest my DD2.
AIBU for not letting him in my house anymore? I'm not happy with him, as by October i'm starting up as a Childminder and don't think that i could have him in the house.

YANBU

YANBU. I think you should have a word with the school child protection officer re the 'bottom poking'.

YANBU, but I do think you need to talk to his mum.

YANBU. Why are you continuing to let this child play with your DD1 if he is hitting and punching her at school? As for the teacher not knowing what's going on......they clearly need to observe a little closer then! I would have serious concerns regarding DD2 and I think I would raise it with his mother - whether she is interested or not. If that gets you nowhere maybe you need to think about approaching the teacher.

His Mum has lots on her plate and she is not well herself.
I'm trying to contain it and have spoken to him about it and not shouted or anything.
It may just be some kind of growing up thing but he does not try it with DD1 but don't like the fact he picks on kids younger than him.
But i'm not putting mindees at risk for any friendships.
DD1 can't play at his house because of the elderly mother and the fact that their garden is just a big dog's toilet.

YANBU - there was a boy who was particularly horrible to my DS1. He is not allowed in my house, end of.

I think the hitting an punching is something which is normal to him.
I've seen the way his older sisters 11yrs and 8yrs deal with him when he misbihaves or hits them.
He gets battered! Don't think he knows any different.
He looks so angelic as well but he is tiny only slightly bigger than my DD2. My DD1 towers over him as well!

I caught my six year old neighbour discussing/attempting the 'bottom poking' think with my ds, who's three ... and showing willies, etc.

I wasn't happy about it, but I do accept that it's a fairly standard part of growing-up. Keep an eye on it, and do what your instincts see fit, but I wouldn't make too much of the 'sexual' behaviour. Most children go through this phase, and will instinctively pick on children younger than them.

Desiderata, yes that's what i think he's doing.

he gets hit? say no more.......

YANU I think you need to stop him coming over. This sounds harsh but I would not let him near either of my DD's. Regarding his behaviour towards your dd2 you need to talk to his teacher. Although this happened outside school the teacher will know the child well and can keep an eye out for any other worrying behaviour and get appropriate authorities involved if neccessary. By doing this you have informed a professional person involved in the child's life. I would not talk to anyone else about it as it may be harmless but no child of six should be asking others to strip. I would not let him come to play again.

This child is being abused- you said yourself he gets battered albeit by his older siblings. Its still abusive behaviour.
Please involve a professional, and raie your concerns. His mother probably needs more help with her mother too.

You have posted about this child before, and I said then- do not let him near your dd2, but tbh if he hits your dd1, then he should not be near either of them. Please protect your daughter/future mindees- then help him.

If you do childmind then you wouldn't be able to have him round if you were up to your numbers anyway but it does sound like you need to speak to the treacher re: your DD1 and just mention the things that have happened with DD2. His mum might not be well and migth have other things to worry about but tbh that's not an excuse - SHE should seek outside help and not just offload onto other people. He is her son and she needs to be involvd more with raising him. If she can't then she needs outside help from others but you have your own family/job to think about.