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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dread a new week as MS Teams chat at work driving me absolutely berserk?!

104 replies

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 09:36

I know this isn't the worst problem in the world - but with every Sunday that comes along, I increasingly dread Mondays and going back to work. It's not the people individually - it's the bloody Teams chat. I work in a reactive service and we are required to be logged in and active on our MS Teams group team chat from 9am - 5pm, whether WFH or in the office, as this is where important stuff is shared and division of work is agreed. Fair enough. What isn't fair enough is the amount of completely non-work related bollocks that goes in there too, with the constant DING DING DING when I'm trying to fucking work. I don't give a fuck if your cat was just sick on your rug, Sandra. No didn't watch fucking Love Island and I don't care how long it took you to get a coffee in Greggs this morning. Fuck off with your dings you absolute bunch of nobheads. NO I can't mute it because I might miss something important. Please join me in my rant against this crime against employment.

OP posts:
JeopardyLeopardy · 29/03/2026 16:45

When you say it 'dings' do you mean it makes a noise? Mine doesn't make any noise for messages, only calls. My messages flash up in a small box in the bottom right of my screen, and if it looks relevant I click on it and if not I ignore it. The silly gifs and inane chat annoy me too!

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 16:50

Shedmistress · 29/03/2026 16:34

No im just old school say what I see/be that person/no fucks to give/says the quiet stuff out loud.

Always have been.

Respect! I'd love to be more like you. There's a real sense of "Groupthink" in my team and I would love nothing more than to tell everyone to get a grip and fucking think for themselves. However, I can't - and they won't. Just need to ride this one out until I can escape :(

OP posts:
blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 16:54

JeopardyLeopardy · 29/03/2026 16:45

When you say it 'dings' do you mean it makes a noise? Mine doesn't make any noise for messages, only calls. My messages flash up in a small box in the bottom right of my screen, and if it looks relevant I click on it and if not I ignore it. The silly gifs and inane chat annoy me too!

Yes it makes a noise, which I can hopefully find a workaround for tomorrow after some really helpful suggestions! I need to find a solution - not only for the noise but the amount of unwarranted bollocks that I am being forced to interact with on a daily basis. Not paid enough to entertain that level of BS!

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 29/03/2026 16:59

How big is your organisation? You do need to raise this with your manager and discuss a way that works better for you. I don't know but this may even be an issue for an occupational health referral. I mute all chats that are tedious.

Maybe suggest that all tasks are allocated by mentioning the person. That way, you can just look at Teams mentions every hour or so.

SwedishEdith · 29/03/2026 17:03

Shedmistress · 29/03/2026 16:34

No im just old school say what I see/be that person/no fucks to give/says the quiet stuff out loud.

Always have been.

Agree. Say this professionally/respectfully etc but don't be afraid to raise issues like this as you definitely won't be the only one. "Too many bloody Teams chats and channels" is a very common refrain amongst my colleagues, including SLT.

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 19:55

SwedishEdith · 29/03/2026 16:59

How big is your organisation? You do need to raise this with your manager and discuss a way that works better for you. I don't know but this may even be an issue for an occupational health referral. I mute all chats that are tedious.

Maybe suggest that all tasks are allocated by mentioning the person. That way, you can just look at Teams mentions every hour or so.

You're right in that I should speak up about this. I just don't want to rock the boat when things are working for the majority of the more established staff. There are various things that don't work well for whatever reason and I've been trying to pick my battles! It's just dawning on me as every weekend nears an end how much I dread the constant mental barrage - so I will try to find ways to make things less painful, whilst trying not take a "nice" thing away from those who like it!! I'm definitely a fan of the idea of being allocated work, as it would avoid the martyrdom that goes on in the chat - aaahhhh!!

OP posts:
Parat · 29/03/2026 20:04

In my previous job I felt exactly the same as you. Overwhelmed at all the pinging and beholden to Teams all day every day.

My new job barely uses it and honestly I could go an entire week without sending a single Teams chat message.

However, my new master is WhatsApp! The ping of that is my new pull.

So it's probably the nature of work generally at the moment that means 'always on' is the default.

It would help everyone's wellbeing if there was a better streaming of Comms channels so employees don't feel overwhelmed at separating the wheat from the chaff.

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 20:37

Parat · 29/03/2026 20:04

In my previous job I felt exactly the same as you. Overwhelmed at all the pinging and beholden to Teams all day every day.

My new job barely uses it and honestly I could go an entire week without sending a single Teams chat message.

However, my new master is WhatsApp! The ping of that is my new pull.

So it's probably the nature of work generally at the moment that means 'always on' is the default.

It would help everyone's wellbeing if there was a better streaming of Comms channels so employees don't feel overwhelmed at separating the wheat from the chaff.

Oh absolutely this! Sorry to have a giggle at WhatsApp being your new master. Whomever decided everything needs to fucking ping can get in the bin really, can't they!

You're so right about wellbeing. I think managers (well, the very detached type as I have) misinterpret what wellbeing actually looks like - and think of it as a one size fits all. Some people need to cling onto others for dear life and know what everyone had for breakfast (which is fine) - and some people need to be left alone (which is also fine!) - but this approach with relentless Team chat isn't taking everyone's needs into account 🙁

OP posts:
TheBossOfMe · 29/03/2026 21:41

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 16:54

Yes it makes a noise, which I can hopefully find a workaround for tomorrow after some really helpful suggestions! I need to find a solution - not only for the noise but the amount of unwarranted bollocks that I am being forced to interact with on a daily basis. Not paid enough to entertain that level of BS!

You don’t need a workaround. It’s literally inbuilt into Teams that you can turn sounds off. Someone even posted a how to visual up thread. I haven’t had sound notifications on in years.

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 22:04

TheBossOfMe · 29/03/2026 21:41

You don’t need a workaround. It’s literally inbuilt into Teams that you can turn sounds off. Someone even posted a how to visual up thread. I haven’t had sound notifications on in years.

I'm not sure why you've chosen this reply to quote - I was talking about a workaround in terms of the noise (which I also mention here I have ideas to sort) but also the wider situation in terms of moving forward. Thanks for your input ?!

OP posts:
TheBossOfMe · 29/03/2026 22:46

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 22:04

I'm not sure why you've chosen this reply to quote - I was talking about a workaround in terms of the noise (which I also mention here I have ideas to sort) but also the wider situation in terms of moving forward. Thanks for your input ?!

Because you talk a lot about misophonia and how the pinging annoys you. I have exactly the same issue. I can’t tell you how much of a difference turning sound notifications off has made for me. Try it. It’s not a workaround - it’s an inbuilt function. And a game changer for people like me who find some sounds unbelievably stressful. Once the “noise” was turned off the rest of the “noise” became easy to ignore or deal with.

Birdsongisangry · 30/03/2026 14:54

@blossom2026 I appreciate you don't want to rock the boat, but I think saying to a manager in supervision that you would like to focus on work instead of chatting to colleagues is one of the least troublesome things an employee could ask for! I do think it's worth asking for it as a reasonable adjustment, and using that term, as they should know that's something they have a responsibility to consider and that it's more than just personal preference (although I think that should be taken into account to tbh!)

TheBossOfMe · 30/03/2026 20:10

Birdsongisangry · 30/03/2026 14:54

@blossom2026 I appreciate you don't want to rock the boat, but I think saying to a manager in supervision that you would like to focus on work instead of chatting to colleagues is one of the least troublesome things an employee could ask for! I do think it's worth asking for it as a reasonable adjustment, and using that term, as they should know that's something they have a responsibility to consider and that it's more than just personal preference (although I think that should be taken into account to tbh!)

I actually think that’s not the best advice. I don’t think anybody has critiqued the OP for not joining in. It’s far better for the OP to silence the notification sounds since that’s what’s obviously bothering her. And if there is a risk of missing work messages in amongst the chatter raising that as a risk (although OP hasn’t flagged that has happened so far). Noise for some people is the problem. It is for me. I can absolutely cope fine with all the chatter (which I don’t get involved with) when the noise is off. Hopefully the OP will find the same.

Pinkladyapplepie · 30/03/2026 20:19

It sounds very unprofessional? My employer would not tolerate one bit. I would definitely not be focused enough for that kind of disruption. Also I couldn't care less about the minute details of others lives.
I don't think you would be unreasonable to broach this with your manager.😊

Birdsongisangry · 30/03/2026 21:11

TheBossOfMe · 30/03/2026 20:10

I actually think that’s not the best advice. I don’t think anybody has critiqued the OP for not joining in. It’s far better for the OP to silence the notification sounds since that’s what’s obviously bothering her. And if there is a risk of missing work messages in amongst the chatter raising that as a risk (although OP hasn’t flagged that has happened so far). Noise for some people is the problem. It is for me. I can absolutely cope fine with all the chatter (which I don’t get involved with) when the noise is off. Hopefully the OP will find the same.

The OP mentioned they had ADHD, I appreciate i don't know how her neuro divergence affects her as everyone is different, but a common theme is difficulty in task switching, ie that it takes a long time to get focus back after being interrupted. If that's the case then switching off the noise wouldn't be enough, as there's still a difficulty processing and mentally filtering out all the unnecessary text that she had to read.
I'm not sure what point you were making about no one criticizing the OP for not joining though. I got the impression she was feeling peer pressure from her managers to be part of the group. Again that can benefit some people who find WFH lonely but that isn't the case for everyone.

blossom2026 · 31/03/2026 00:55

Thanks for the additional replies on this - it's good to hear other's perspectives. I've had a lot of stress to deal with recently and I returned to work today after taking a number of days off on sick leave. It was so busy today, with my team being at capacity and messages flying all over the place! There wasn't much time for people to talk nonsense (thankfully) but it is still a sensory nightmare being constantly interrupted, so I have to be careful to remember to mute the chat when I'm trying to work on something that requires focus. Thank you to the above poster for this, as it sums it up better than I could!:

The OP mentioned they had ADHD, I appreciate i don't know how her neuro divergence affects her as everyone is different, but a common theme is difficulty in task switching, ie that it takes a long time to get focus back after being interrupted. If that's the case then switching off the noise wouldn't be enough, as there's still a difficulty processing and mentally filtering out all the unnecessary text that she had to read.

I phoned the Employee Assistance line at the weekend and spoke with a lovely counsellor, who completely got it. I said that I hate being in the office because it's open plan, loud, hotdesking and again, a whole sensory nightmare. We are a team of minute takers and honestly, trying to do that with everything going on is a nightmare. There is a quiet office to use (bar one day a week) but that has only recently been put into place - and I would feel very antisocial upping and leaving the team to use it other than during meetings. I still have the rest of the bollocks to deal with the rest of the time! I realise that makes me sound very grumpy - which I am. I actually hate it.

I work with some lovely people but it can be very overwhelming when too many people are in on the same day - and that's just our team! There's also a manager (different team but work very closely) who has a very rude tone with most people but also has her favourites. She doesn't really like me as I have previously laid down my minimum expectations for the respect I expect to be addressed with. I never know which days she will be in, so I can't avoid her when I do my two office days (we work hybrid, 3 WFH and 2 in and we choose our days). We almost never see our managers.

I said to this counsellor that I was considering requesting full time WFH or requesting that I drop to 1 day in, as it would possibly make things more bearable (and would make no difference whatsoever in terms of business needs/ability to do the role). I sent an email at the weekend which gave me time to actually think (this is not possible during work hours!) and put forward everything in what I thought was a very sensible, considered way.

I WFH today and worked my behind off - ended up staying on late to do something that will make tomorrow easier for the team, as tomorrow is also set to be absolutely manic, with every meeting slot taken. I don't know what's going on - maybe a full moon?!

Anyhow, I got an email from the management, refusing my request for this reasonable adjustment due to business need. I read it at the end of the day (when I had time) and I obviously don't agree with that reasoning.

Editing to add that I was told that I have noise cancelling headphones and a quiet space to use so there is no reason why I should struggle in the office - !!

I hyperfocus at home and get so much more work done (if anything, I'm terrible at taking a break!). They would have seen from the chat of doom that I was working hard all day. It doesn't make any sense and to be honest, I feel very despondent about it all. If I could walk away from the job tomorrow I would - but I can't afford to do that. I'm single and don't have another income to depend on (and I wouldn't qualify for the pittance that is UC if I chose to walk out).

Apologies that this has become a long rant! I fell asleep after work and woke up about midnight, realising I hadn't eaten anything all day. Ah well, back to it at 9am, yay. Thanks again for the advice and responses, it's great to have some virtual support x

OP posts:
Mt563 · 01/04/2026 09:57

blossom2026 · 31/03/2026 00:55

Thanks for the additional replies on this - it's good to hear other's perspectives. I've had a lot of stress to deal with recently and I returned to work today after taking a number of days off on sick leave. It was so busy today, with my team being at capacity and messages flying all over the place! There wasn't much time for people to talk nonsense (thankfully) but it is still a sensory nightmare being constantly interrupted, so I have to be careful to remember to mute the chat when I'm trying to work on something that requires focus. Thank you to the above poster for this, as it sums it up better than I could!:

The OP mentioned they had ADHD, I appreciate i don't know how her neuro divergence affects her as everyone is different, but a common theme is difficulty in task switching, ie that it takes a long time to get focus back after being interrupted. If that's the case then switching off the noise wouldn't be enough, as there's still a difficulty processing and mentally filtering out all the unnecessary text that she had to read.

I phoned the Employee Assistance line at the weekend and spoke with a lovely counsellor, who completely got it. I said that I hate being in the office because it's open plan, loud, hotdesking and again, a whole sensory nightmare. We are a team of minute takers and honestly, trying to do that with everything going on is a nightmare. There is a quiet office to use (bar one day a week) but that has only recently been put into place - and I would feel very antisocial upping and leaving the team to use it other than during meetings. I still have the rest of the bollocks to deal with the rest of the time! I realise that makes me sound very grumpy - which I am. I actually hate it.

I work with some lovely people but it can be very overwhelming when too many people are in on the same day - and that's just our team! There's also a manager (different team but work very closely) who has a very rude tone with most people but also has her favourites. She doesn't really like me as I have previously laid down my minimum expectations for the respect I expect to be addressed with. I never know which days she will be in, so I can't avoid her when I do my two office days (we work hybrid, 3 WFH and 2 in and we choose our days). We almost never see our managers.

I said to this counsellor that I was considering requesting full time WFH or requesting that I drop to 1 day in, as it would possibly make things more bearable (and would make no difference whatsoever in terms of business needs/ability to do the role). I sent an email at the weekend which gave me time to actually think (this is not possible during work hours!) and put forward everything in what I thought was a very sensible, considered way.

I WFH today and worked my behind off - ended up staying on late to do something that will make tomorrow easier for the team, as tomorrow is also set to be absolutely manic, with every meeting slot taken. I don't know what's going on - maybe a full moon?!

Anyhow, I got an email from the management, refusing my request for this reasonable adjustment due to business need. I read it at the end of the day (when I had time) and I obviously don't agree with that reasoning.

Editing to add that I was told that I have noise cancelling headphones and a quiet space to use so there is no reason why I should struggle in the office - !!

I hyperfocus at home and get so much more work done (if anything, I'm terrible at taking a break!). They would have seen from the chat of doom that I was working hard all day. It doesn't make any sense and to be honest, I feel very despondent about it all. If I could walk away from the job tomorrow I would - but I can't afford to do that. I'm single and don't have another income to depend on (and I wouldn't qualify for the pittance that is UC if I chose to walk out).

Apologies that this has become a long rant! I fell asleep after work and woke up about midnight, realising I hadn't eaten anything all day. Ah well, back to it at 9am, yay. Thanks again for the advice and responses, it's great to have some virtual support x

Edited

I'm so sorry, that all sounds a lot and like they're not being very accommodating.

Before you push further, how long have you been there? You have a lot more protections if you've been there over 2 years (i.e., they can't dismiss you without a very well documented reason). This is changing in the next year or so to 6 months.

If you have been there over 2 years, I'd really try to push the working from home more as a disability accommodation. Hopefully someone else will be along with more specific advice on who to contact for support.

MilleniumMouse · 01/04/2026 10:02

My colleague works in a different department but our offices are next door to each other.

She has multiple different Teams chats going at once and not only does it ping audibly on her laptop, it also pings on her works mobile. So there's 2 different sets of DINGing for each and every message.

I don't know how she copes with it.

(There have been 8 dings in the time it has taken me to type this message)

Alpacajigsaw · 01/04/2026 10:29

Mute it and look at it every few minutes for work.

AussieMum135 · 01/04/2026 10:38

Hello..ding
How are you...ding
Can I ask you a question...ding
I was told you might know..ding

FFS just ask me your question in one damn message! I will not answer if someone just says hello....nope...no more!

Mt563 · 01/04/2026 12:57

Alpacajigsaw · 01/04/2026 10:29

Mute it and look at it every few minutes for work.

This is also not reasonable, you need to be able to focus at work and, especially with ADHD, task switching every few minutes ruins this. It's really inefficient.

blossom2026 · 01/04/2026 22:10

Mt563 · 01/04/2026 09:57

I'm so sorry, that all sounds a lot and like they're not being very accommodating.

Before you push further, how long have you been there? You have a lot more protections if you've been there over 2 years (i.e., they can't dismiss you without a very well documented reason). This is changing in the next year or so to 6 months.

If you have been there over 2 years, I'd really try to push the working from home more as a disability accommodation. Hopefully someone else will be along with more specific advice on who to contact for support.

Thank you for the supportive comment. I know there's a big thing on here about drip-feeding but I was more concerned about outing myself even more than I already have. I was the victim of a traumatic hate crime by an immediate neighbour a couple of months ago (part of a long campaign of harassment which due to neither the police nor the housing provider acting was allowed to escalate) and it's all contributed to how I'm feeling.

I might as well just sign my name and job title at this point! Nevermind though - I don't care if my employer recognises themselves in these messages, to be honest.

I am still new in my role and started whilst this harassment was underway - but before it turned racist. It was still hellish though and I had no support from the housing provider. I had also just started ADHD medication so was trying to figure that out. I had very honest and open conversations with my managers all the way through and told them that I was stressed and sleep deprived but would do my best and give them my full commitment, which I have done. It's just become increasingly difficult for various reasons.

When I started this thread I was genuinely talking about the Teams chat and it is still a stressor - but I guess there's a lot else going on as well. My neighbour has been charged but is on bail conditions until the first court appearance in June. The housing have only just agreed to do something and I managed to get trade union support and further advice around medical advice for reasonable adjustments yesterday and today. Hopefully everything will get better.

Taking a few days annual leave as I had run out and was waiting for the new leave year to start! Not missing the pinging at all - or hearing about someone's neighbour having the audacity to mow their lawn 😂

OP posts:
blossom2026 · 01/04/2026 22:11

MilleniumMouse · 01/04/2026 10:02

My colleague works in a different department but our offices are next door to each other.

She has multiple different Teams chats going at once and not only does it ping audibly on her laptop, it also pings on her works mobile. So there's 2 different sets of DINGing for each and every message.

I don't know how she copes with it.

(There have been 8 dings in the time it has taken me to type this message)

Oh hell no!! Is she selectively deaf or...?! x

OP posts:
MilleniumMouse · 02/04/2026 10:17

blossom2026 · 01/04/2026 22:11

Oh hell no!! Is she selectively deaf or...?! x

Possibly. She does have 2 young children who are big into K-Pop and YouTube brain rot, so maybe she's just good at tuning it out. Grin

IdentityCris · 02/04/2026 10:58

blossom2026 · 29/03/2026 10:30

How do you know that the managers are joining in? I haven't said that have I? In my workplace the management are very hands-off but they have sight of the Teams chat throughout the day. I have mentioned the issue to them and have said that it's perhaps not helpful for all of the chatter to be contained within a work-related group. It would definitely be better contained within a separate group which can be dipped in and out of, whoever isn't busy at the time can dip in and out of it without distracting others from their work. Is that ok for you, as it sounds like you might recognise yourself from my post!

So how did they respond when you mentioned the issue?

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