To not be sure how to handle this?

[awfulphotos]

A couple of weeks ago I arranged an outdoor photoshoot and it was a disaster - the children weren’t playing ball at all but we were also impeded by the wind and by how busy the place was.

The photos have come back and in all honesty there are hardly any nice ones and the only ones that are OK are of just the children which wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for (they are nice photos but I’ve got just as nice ones on my phone.)

The photographer has asked if I’m happy with them as I seemed stressed (I was!) and I honestly don’t know what to say. I think an outright ‘yes, they are lovely’ is just so insincere but might be the best way to manage it. I’m not sure what honesty can do.

I know it’s not a massive big deal but I had looked forward to it so it’s a bit gutting.

Did you post about this on mothers day? If you're the same person you knew on the day it was a write off. I'd let it go OP. Sorry you're disappointed. Whatever the case, the stars didn't align x

You say no, obviously! Why would you pretend you like an expensive product that you don’t? Presumably the contract says the shoot can be redone?

It’s not the photographers fault your kids didn’t play ball, the place was busy and they have no control over the weather so, if they are good quality/composition, then focus on that.

Agreed.

I think you were a bit predisposed to not liking the photos as you were already disappointed on the day.

Children not playing ball isn’t the photographer’s fault - she can only work with what she’s got. An outdoor shoot in February / March was a bit optimistic re weather.

I doubt the contract says the shoot can be redone. She’s a snapper, not a miracle worker.

They’ve no control over the weather but we were meant to go in another place that was locked, and was a lot more sheltered. I don’t know. I am inclined to think it’s a write off and just forget the whole thing but on the other had part of me thinks for the amount of money I should raise that I was upset by it all. I most probably will just leave it though.

Are you gearing up to asking for a refund?

If so YABU - the fact you chose a busy place, your kids were badly behaved and the weather wasn’t good are not the photographer’s fault and should not prevent them being paid for a service rendered

No, I don’t think a refund would be appropriate and even if it was offered (unlikely) I wouldn’t take it. I was more wondering if she was going to suggest getting some redone but I don’t honestly think I have it in me to do it again!

To be fair I didn’t ’choose a busy place’ - it was where the photoshoot was, if you see what I mean. And it wa meant to happen in a sheltered garden but it was locked so we had to go to the main park area which was very busy, very windy and yes the children were absolutely awful which isn’t her fault, it’s mine - but might have been more manageable somewhere quieter and not as windy.

I think you have to just chalk this one up to experience, accept your disappointment and move on - and buy a selfie stick.

I tried the 'family photo shoot' thing twice having seen beautiful shots of friends' families on social media. First time it was a cloudy day and my usually-cheerful 1-yr-old was in a crying mood and not having any of it. Second time my youngest had a lovely time showing off for the camera on his own then got tired refused to pose with the family. I'd say we got one or two useable photos out of each but no one image can capture your family for long as the whole thing with families is we grow and change. Our favourite photos are the rare-but-great spontaneous ones we've taken ourselves on holiday with our selfie stick. They're not professional - wind in our hair, angles not perfect etc - but we're all smiling and we can remember the photo as part of a lovely moment.

I agree apart from the selfie stick - I don’t know how people take good photos with selfies but I always look cross eyed, well into my sixties and slightly manic.

I was hoping for the spontaneous look. Ah well.

A re-shoot, even of only part of it, is a refund.

What can I say … she’s asked a question. Ultimately if I answer honestly and say that I don’t like the photos at all, they bear no resemblance to what I was hoping for and I was really disappointed and I recognise that wasn’t her fault or to do with her skills as a photographer but it’s how I honestly feel. If I said that then it’s up to her what she does next.

But I don’t want it to come across as if I’m blaming her and besides, even if she did offer to redo them I’m not sure I have it in me! So probably best left.

I remember your original post, I didn't comment on it but remember you getting a bit of a kicking from a lot of posters who couldn't seem to grasp that it had been a lot of money for you or understand your disappointment.

What is it about the photos that you don't like?

A professional photographer should also know their way around photoshop and be able to adjust the lighting in post processing to make a great looking image out of a shot taken on a grey, windy day.

Photography is my hobby and even on a windy day in a busy place I can easily get much better photos of my family than I could on my mobile phone.
If your photos are out of focus or have other people in the background then you should complain.

If it's because you don't like the way you look or are unhappy with facial expressions of your family members or are usually self critical of the way you look in photos then that's not the photographers fault.

I would probably say something. Having had family photoshoots (indoors) in the past I know they are not cheap.
I would just say you were a little disappointed that due to the location, weather and kids being kids they weren't quite what you were hoping for.

Sorry it turned out disappointing. Such is the realities of life with young kids. They’re not performing monkeys. And even if you did say you were disappointed and the photographer did offer a free or discounted reshoot then it would be more stress, more pressure and something that the kids hate doing. Don’t do it to yourself. Get a tripod and do some DIY photos in the garden on your phone on a day when everything aligns in terms of the weather and everyone’s moods ! In terms of replying to the photographer I’d just say fine thanks, then draw a line under it and move on.

Are you really saying you never like how you look in photos and is the problem you don’t like how you look ? Low self esteem , seeing the flaws not the beauty others see ? Just the way you described your attempts at a selfie stick …

Thanks @Wildywondrous . The main thing is that they are very strained and unnatural, lots of strange facial expressions, none are aligned, the sticks (which if you remember were a big source of the problem!) on every single photo. Not ‘just walking through these gardens with my children’ more ‘sat on a bench with a strained smile with my children.’

But I do get it’s not really her fault. That’s what’s so difficult in a way: I’m not happy with them but I don’t think it’s her fault, particularly.

Well, say that! It’s up to her what she does with that information. It won’t be the first time she’s dealt with a disappointed client, and it’s in her best interests to ensure you’re happy, or at least don’t look back on this as a nightmarish waste of money.

No, I think I generally look OK in natural photos. Selfies aren’t natural really. I have lost a lot of weight recently and that’s one of the reasons I wanted these photos and it meant a lot to me: it was kind of a reward.

One of the nicest photos of me was taken at a toddler group when I was reading a book with my toddler. Just completely natural. I guess I’d hoped to replicate that in the great outdoors - but it was not to be!

She knows they’re not good, you know they’re not good. You could just reply saying “Yes, they’re not really what I was looking for, it’s a shame the kids and the weather and the business of the park didn’t align. Thanks for trying though.”

Yes I remember the sticks!
They can easily be edited out in a few seconds.

I do wonder though if you would ever be happy with the photos?
You were incredibly stressed at the shoot and then disappointed and upset afterwards, it was Mother's Day which made the disappointment worse and so perhaps even half decent photos would just be an instant reminder of a rubbish day.

If you looked at the photos and they were of someone else's family and not know anything of the situation would you think they were nice?

Regarding what to tell the photographer you should be honest, tell her that you appreciate they're taken well and you're not criticising her skills but you were hoping that there would be a few more natural looking shots amongst them and some without the stick.
She will have taken hundreds of photos and only chosen a few that she thought were the best to give you, she might have others with no stick or some candid shots when nobody was looking that are lovely.

Lastly, if there's an image amongst them that is almost perfect you could ask her to make a few changes, ask her to remove the stick, adjust the lighting and position people in a more natural way etc
It's easy to make one perfect image from several others.
If she can't then there are Facebook groups where people will kindly edit a photograph for you.

I’d say I wasn’t happy but acknowledge it wasn’t her fault, and see what she suggests. You could have another go when the weather is nicer and in the original place the shoot was meant to take place.

@Wildywondrous honestly they weren’t very good. I was hoping to avoid posed photos at all but the place was so busy and the children so uncooperative it was hard to do anything else. I did consider just replying and saying I didn’t want any as they are that crap, tbh (obviously I wouldn’t have phrased it quite like that!)

I think I just need to forget about it!

I can't recall, but had you seen her work before? I think the issue is it was a staged photoshoot. It sounds like maybe you should have just said you were going to go play in the park and could she take photos without you being aware she was there.

OP I get that this is disapppointing. I think I'd just suck it up, write it off, and in a few ywars these will be the funny photos of the awful day where everything went wrong. If they are really bad, then they will be perfect jokey photos to show new boyfriends/girlfriends in the future! Time will give you perspective on this.