To ask for your experiences raising a quirky child?

[Catchtheice]

I don’t know if quirky is the right word but my DD is quite unique in her ways. Outside making friends with a ‘worm with a nice face’, always coming up with elaborate stories and games. Spent two full days playing with an empty water bottle, tucking it up in her cot etc at night. Brilliant imagination and really good speech but just seems a bit alternative compared to others her age. At a local club recently she was perfectly happy but it did seem more like she was trailing around after the others rather than in the middle of things. She is 3 and a half so I know it’s young but I do worry especially as girls can be so cruel, whether she will get on ok and how best to support her. She is a fantastic clever little girl and I just want her to be happy. I’d love to hear any experiences of raising a more unique child and hopefully some positive ones too.

My dd was a flamingo for a week at this age. And later, a lemur. At least the lemur moved faster….

Hmm…it’s really weird you’re already calling your quirky at 3. She might be or she might not. But all her behaviour is totally normal at 3. 3 year olds are bonkers, that’s what makes them so much fun

She sounds fine to me, perfectly normal clever little girl - you will probably find she is very bright when she starts school

I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about. My ‘quirky’ eldest child wanted a bendy, telescopic multi torch with built in magnet for Christmas when he was 3 and took it to bed with him every night. He is still quirky at 17, into Joy Division and rockets. I absolutely love it about him.

Thanks so much everyone for your nice messages! I was a bit worried I’d get flamed. Glad to hear so many saying it’s a positive. I just sometimes see her away off on her own around other kids and worry! But then I did have trouble fitting in myself in school (not for being quirky - being shy!) and I am probably projecting a bit. Need to remember she’s not me and appreciate her personality more!

You’re a lucky parent. Embrace it 😊x

My 10 year old son is quirky . The biggest challenge is for a parent to accept that this is who they are and LOVE they for it. It’s easier to parent a child who likes the same stuff as everyone else , easily makes friends , joins in activities .

Once you accept that they are imaginative funny and brave , it is easier. DS has not got ‘cult hero’ status. He has lots of friends including the alpha kids who are protective of their clever funny quirky mate who says the funniest things .

DS writes the best stories and things of the best games.

She sounds amazing

'worm with a nice face '

How intuitive!

’Girls can be so cruel’, what an odd thing to say.

I think she sounds like normal 3 year old to me. Even if she has her funny things that's fine.

I find it a bit odd still being in a cot at 3.5 years old though. Doesn't she climb out and surely she can walk confidently enough up and down stairs at that age?

Early years worker and mum here. None of what you’ve described sounds abnormal. She sounds like she just has a personality and interests that differ from what you’ve experienced as the ‘norm’. She sounds very like my own daughter who has grown to be a very confident, grounded teen who is sure of who she is and what she likes, has a great set of friends and is very happy. And still a bit ‘off the wall’ in a way we would never change.

Don’t worry, OP. She sounds entirely typical of a young child

She sounds perfectly normal for a 3yo. It would be more worrying for a 13yo!

I think this! Most little kids are quirky in one way or the other!

My dd who is the NT one in this house was more quirky than my ND ds tbh.

At 17 she walks through the world like it was made for her, but at 3-4 she was definitely a bit kooky.

I do think all little kids are quirky - they’ve only just arrived here so why wouldn’t they be - but sometimes only their parents see it.

If you personally grew up marked out as the weird one then you would instantly understand exactly what OP is concerned about

the boys wont play with you because you are a girl and the girls will laugh at you and exclude you because you are a bit different to the norm

probably too young to say if there would be a problem or not as she gets older

She does sound bright from your description, I grant you. Imaginative.

I’d keep reading to her a lot and encourage her story telling side - you never know where it could lead!

I’ve found boys at least as cruel as girls. Their only method of conversation seems to be “roasting” each other!

She sounds absolutely amazing!

I would guess her quirkiness could be due to being very bright. She could obviously also be neurodivergent. I am struck by the nice face on the worm, I can’t think many little kids would come up
with something so interesting. Also the 2 days playing with the bottle, again she obviously has a very good ability to concentrate and think things through in some depth - that takes a lot of brains.

I believe they can be

but at least as a girl I was ignored by them

just trying to make OPs concerns clearer for some

She sounds fab! And a bit like me when I was a kid. Sounds like she has a creative mind. Maybe she’s just figuring out where to fit in. In the meantime, I’ll never look at a worm the same way again…

My DS never fitted in at school but he didn’t really want to. It did make life a bit hard and he was low level bullied all through school, not popular, no tribe. I used to say he was an eagle and everyone else was a sheep and he liked that. He was fighting giants and going on adventures and the other boys were playing football it all seemed a bit tedious to him.

He went to uni and found his tribe there, he’s into D&D, he games and he has a group of quirky friends. I wonder if I should have encouraged him to fit in but he didn’t want to. I just loved him praised his good points, built up his sense of self and he seems to be doing ok.

She sounds amazing! I love a child with a great imagination, I think it shows great intelligence. I too have a weirdo. He’s 18 now and is the most fabulous young man with a very odd sense of humour! He would never play games the way they were intended, he would always adapt games and make up his own rules. A lot of people don’t “get him” but those that do absolutely adore him.
Edited to add worm with a nice face is the best thing I’ve heard in ages 🤣

Eh?? Engaging in imaginative play is absolutely age appropriate for a three year old. I’m really surprised that you feel otherwise!
She sounds absolutely typical for her age and I think you’ve got nothing to worry about. I thought you were gonna say she was about ten when I started reading your OP!

Well mine is still quirky at nearly 28. Didn't stop her getting a 1st from Cambridge or being a very young secondary school head of year.

Getting married soon to quirky and professionally qualified bf. Between them they speak four languages fluently.

DD has ADHD, BF is high functioning ASD. They are fucking brilliant!

My youngest was what you describe as "quirky". She made friends with snails & worms, had an imaginary friend, wrote to fairies, told us crazy stories, got into scrapes galore.

She's not ND as far as I know and has grown up to be an intelligent, articulate & sociable person who is now doing brilliantly at University.
She had more freedom as she was a second child so we as parents were more relaxed with her.
Left to their own devices to explore and have fun, I think this what a lot of three year olds are like?