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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spoilt brat alert.

26 replies

electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 16:01

I have just done up the attic for dd to move up there, i have been working really hard all week and had a new carpet and everything, anyway my dad was round earlier so i asked him to help me get dd's bed up there, well it wouldn't fit.
Now I really appreciate my dad helping but he is so aggresive and talks to my mum and I as if we are thick and have no idea what we are doing, i did the whole bloody room dad. He shouted at me, shouted at my mum, got really annoyed when i didn't have an alan key to fit the bed (even though we inherited it), I have a massive bruise on my leg from where he rammed the bed at me.
IHe asked for a screwdriver and i said which sort, he said a NORMAL ONE, I said which is a normal one, philips or straight, he said A NORMAL ONE, OH JUST BRING THEM ALL, was that so hard to actually answer me.
Anyway he is coming back tommorow to fit the cat flap.
AIBU to never ask him to help me again, or am I being a spoilt brat?

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 18/06/2008 16:05

yanbu. There is no need for it. I think you should say something - gratitude is one thing but being prepared to be spoken to like an idiot is quite another.

Sadly my DH has started to talk to people like that and it's beginning to make me feel very miserable and to make me wonder about our future .

gingerninja · 18/06/2008 16:05

No I'd not bother again. I'd rather struggle carrying the bed on my own back than have someone begrudge being asked to help.

muggglewump · 18/06/2008 16:05

I wouldn't ask for his help again.
YANBU

OrmIrian · 18/06/2008 16:06

Unless he has PMT of course. Then it's quite understandable

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 16:07

He is always like it but then complains if you get someone else to do stuff for you, I may ring a joiner to come and do the cat flap, i just hate being shouted at and I really really hate my mum being shouted at.

OP posts:
SalBow · 18/06/2008 16:07

No, that's horrible of him. Just make a decision to not accept any more 'help' from him if i were you. Sounds like you are a capable woman, do you think you could do the catflap yourself? That'd show him.

BEAUTlFUL · 18/06/2008 16:11

My Dad's exactly the same! It's awful, innit? Mine gets better if you praise him to high heaven, which is annoying. It's all bluff and bluster. Is your Dad a Taurus? Mine is. Just wondering.

I wouldn't ask him not to come back, but I'd have a drink before he did, tbh.

hanaflower · 18/06/2008 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pavlovthecat · 18/06/2008 16:14

Dont get him to help at all tomorrow, struggle on your own, you can do it.

I fitted my catflap all on my lonesome!

TwoFir · 18/06/2008 16:15

How old is he? Is he really angry with himself as he isnt as good at stuff as he used to be? Maybe he couldnt remember the name for the screwdriver? YANBU tho.

sitdownpleasegeorge · 18/06/2008 16:15

Ormrian, I seem to remember that we have similar husbands. My dh talks to me like that.

IMHO, Catflaps are a bugger to fit so I would hold my tongue until he has done that little job for you and then not bothering asking for help unless he can be polite whilst helping.

Honestly - can you imagine his own reaction if your mother asked him to get something and then she snapped his head off when he queried the exact type of whatever it was.

She does need to stand up to him, could you sit him down together and say he is becoming a grumpy rude old git and neither of you will put up with it.

dh is very rude to me and I pull him up on it every time..... we argue a lot but I'm not going to accept his rudeness just for a quiet life.

micci25 · 18/06/2008 16:16

i think a lot of men are under the impression that all women are useless at this sort of thing and they are automatically excellent builders/plumbers and electricians because they are male. but that doesnt excuse your dad treating you this way.

i get the same with dp even though he is the one who is useless at these things (my dad recently asked him to buy a soft paint or paste brush to do dp's plastering with, dp brought him a v old and frayed wallpaper brush!!! incase anyone doesnt know about this sort of stuff wallpaper brushes are designed to smooth bubbles out of wallpaper and therefore are stiff, this one was v old and very very very stiff!!)

i have found that it is much easier just to do any sort of diy myself when dp is not home. and have told my dad if needs anything else to ask me coz that brush caused a massive argument! but that may have been because we all took great pleasure in laughing at dp and his silliness

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 16:20

he has always been like this, he is actually mellowing a bit, I wish i could do the cat flap, I probably could but I don't have any tools and he won't lend them me, he will just say oh i'll do it. I have just phoned joiner who is coming for something else but he can't come till Friday.
Glad I'm not being a brat, i know I should be grateful for the help and it's my own fault for asking him but he was here and I thought it was a 2 minute job.
On the plus side it has saved dh and I an argument when we couldn't get it up there later, and don't have the right allen key to take it to bits.

OP posts:
micci25 · 18/06/2008 16:24

oh yes and men are very very overprotective when it comes to tools!! they are like thier children! you might break them or lose them or even worse be better at using them than he is!!!

i take my dads when he is not in and return them before he notices!

idontbelieveit · 18/06/2008 16:40

my dad's the same, it makes me want to scream! YANBU

SalBow · 18/06/2008 16:49

I get very frustrated with my dad because although I love diy, have been doing it for years, and, in my opinion, do a lot of things better and more carefully than he does, he likes to tell me what to do and that I should be doing things differently all the time. Grr it makes me mad. He does mean well and helped lots when I was v pregnant and couldn't do much, so I then feel guilty for getting annoyed with him. I think he needs to be needed.
I built a vanity unit to fit in a space in our bathroom and it fitted perfectly, he says," oh, you were lucky that it fit, it was almost too big"

Grrr... sorry, was that a hijack attempt?

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 16:59

lol at almost too big.

OP posts:
SalBow · 18/06/2008 17:15

yes it seems very funny now but I wasn't laughing at the time!

If I were you I would start building a tool collection of your own, imo every woman should have one!

vacaloca · 18/06/2008 17:17

are you my sister?

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 17:21

I have screwdrivers, one philips and one NORMAL ONE.

OP posts:
SalBow · 18/06/2008 17:37

yeah, but you could obviously do with some more allen keys

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 17:40

i have about 100 allen keys, they are just all the same size
Thanks I am finding the whole thing quite amusing now, that should get me through the cat flap. I will be posting on here the minute he has gone. I still don't like him shouting ast my mum though. don't think she will be coming to help tommorow.

OP posts:
SalBow · 18/06/2008 17:42

Do you really think you can get through the catflap?? I think possibly you might be almost too big?

SalBow · 18/06/2008 17:45

Sorry, serious note, it must be hard to listen to him shouting at your mum. Have you ever talked to him about it?

Original poster
electricbarbarella · 18/06/2008 17:45

pmsl.

OP posts:
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