AIBU to offer an AMA as a home-schooled adult?

[Giraffapuses]

Following the publication of this article I've noticed a lot of interest in home schooling so I thought an AMA with a home-schooled adult in the wild might be interesting.

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/home-schooling-uk-inspector-gx982bgd6

Thanks. So how did the home education work in practice for you? Did your parents have a plan for what they wanted you to learn. Did they do the teaching themselves? Were you connected with other homeschoolers?

‘Passed to the parent’ in what way?

Indeed! But it’s something the school offered as she was unable to attend in person

Interestingly, I have 100% never found this to be an issue even when I was applying for entry level roles. Because the Open University courses included maths and English nobody cared. I'm fairly confident they would have not cared even if it didn't.

I think it may be that the poster does not have confidence that I am a qualified advocate. I am not an expert in the field. Plus I'm just a regular person. Like I could say something stupid which might be taken as resulting from my choice to be home educated

It is possibly a biased article but I think the point it’s making is that the system has no way currently to distinguish the committed, diligent home ed parents from the ones who are neglecting their children.

Of course there are very legitimate reasons for doing it and of course a percentage of parents achieves brilliant results and we all know about the SEND crisis but there is a large and growing cohort of people who just can’t face getting their kids up in the morning or who are conspiracy theorists who think “the system” is brainwashing them.

Ultimately the right of a child to not be educationally neglected has to take precedence over the right of parents not to comply with the system. If you want to do it, at minimum you should be required to demonstrate you can do it properly, as opposed to just opting out.

In practice I had sit down lessons most days starting around 10am finishing around 3pm. Most learning was self directed but focused on maths, english, politics, philosophy and theatre. From around 13 onwards I chose all my own topics including choosing to study abroad in several specialist short courses. For example, at 16 I went to the US to study economics for 2-weeeks at a think tank. Honestly, my self directed education was wild. I met globally recognised physics professors, far too many economists and a lot of philosophy teachers.

In early years my parents didn70% of the teaching with a bit of help from friends/tutors for stuff they didn't know.

Sorry forgot to answer one of your questions:: yes I was connected with other home schoolers. There are arched 1m home schooled children in the UK.

Financially. The state could pay parents who choose to home school the avoided cost of their kid not being in school. I accept this is bold policy position!

For every child that’s getting a useful education at home I fear there is also a child who’s not, so I do think accountability and government oversight it’s important. It’s not uncommon for clips or posts to come up on my SM of a parent who takes their child out of school because they don’t like the rules about nose piercings, hair dye etc. Totally different to a child with ND, for example, who were not being supported in the school system.

OP what was your social life and contact with other kids like when you were growing up? Did you have a friendship group?

Absolutely not. It is wide open to abuse. Sadly there will be many parents out there who would take their kids out of school purely because because they’d get extra money unless there was a huge amount of oversight given.

I’m not sure which choices you are referring to.

It sounds like your parents had both the financial and intellectual means to ensure you had a very rich if alternative education. I think the problem arises if a family don’t have those means.

I'm interested in where home educated children get the discipline, tenacity and capacity to JFD the hours of study, especially in later years when at uni or maybe doing A levels at college.

My own child has been EBSA and is now coping in class but we're a million miles from her accessing any homework or caring about the exams. It is not the same as unschooling, I know, but I believe there are parallels. How do you get that drive? There comes a point where it can't all be done through Lego and self directed projects. EBSA influencers say it just comes if you drop the rope enough but what if it doesn't, how do we avoid ending up with a NEET young adult?

I'd love to hear whether this is a challenge/transition you can relate to or whether you always "just had" that drive to learn in a self directed way. What choices did you and your parents make to help you succeed at moving into that more structured, directed learning environment?

Exactly. Home education seems to be polarised between on the one hand very highly educated people of means who are highly motivated and probably do a better job than most schools and at the other end of the spectrum people who for various reasons cannot cope with society.

At the moment the system treats these two groups as identical. It’s insane.

How did you find the transition from a free schedule ie doing things at your own speed/time to the structure of a 9-5 style work environment?

My own experience is too niche to be an answer. My mum had to stop work because she got a disease that destroys your nerves. So she had to stay home.

No, I did not have a friendship group. My parents preferred my 'friends' we're literary characters i would get to know through books.

Just kidding. As a younger child I had a large friendship circle. In my teen years I had a period of being very lonely due to some personal issues. As a late teen back to normal friendship group. At university same personal issue so limited social circle. As an adult back to normal friendship circle.

My child’s college actually said children who have had home tutoring rather than school are often more independent and able to cope with FE and HE

This is an interesting one. I do dislike my corporate job and I do struggle with authority. But, at the same time I make six-figures and have niche skills. So I guess if we blame home ed alone for my rebellion against authority, do we also credit it for my relatively high income.

I'm still interested in how they get that way.

I'm not sure why more government supervision is seen as a bad thing. One of the reasons for more supervision is the safeguarding issue; abusive parents can use home schooling as a way to hide abuse. Thats not really something the home schooling lobby seem to want to address, and its not an issue that can be countered by adults who were home schooled.

Excellent question. I am not familiar with EBSA. But, for me, motivation came from 'dropping the rope' (as you put it) a LOT and real-world consequences. It also helped that my parents modelled drive etc. But, honestly, the moment your kid is exposed to age appropriate real world consequences they will learn. Also, remember that education looks different outside of school (but the outcomes are often the same or even better). For example, I didn't learn to read until I was 11 but here I am typing away.

We were very, very poor and at risk of homelessness at times. My mother is well educated my dad is not. Howver, they are both intellectual.

That said, most of the home ed kids I've met do come from upper middle class families. I'd have to see the data to know if this is just my experience or the rule.

Do you know what I never get about this?

I have an 11 year old who would ask to do neither LEGO nor shakesphere. Ever. Given freedom of decision making she would stay in bed all day reading warrior cats/ pick age appropriate trash here.

I was the same as a child. Surely this is a perfectly standard way to be? I’m boggled by this idea that you leave a child alone to discover their passions and they somehow decide it’s coding/ electric guitar/ Salinger.

I think it would be really selfish to homeschool her. I’d just be nagging her 24/7.

plus, why is there so little working outside the home in these families? Seems a poor example “oh mum couldn’t do anything so decided to keep you home with her”