To think I’m too hard on my ds age five?

30 replies

eatyourpizza · 28/03/2026 17:41

I feel like I’m too hard on my five year old ds, and he must hear a constant stream of nagging from me but equally I don’t feel I can ignore some stuff so I don’t really know what to do. It inevitably ends in my frustration tipping into annoyance and then he gets angry and upset.

Just now at the dinner table he would not sit up or sit down. He was jumping up and down from his chair, lolling and leaning so that he was lying across the chair with his head on the floor, then up again, running round then back and lolling again.

I don’t feel I can ignore it but equally I don’t want to be always on at him!

OP posts:

Newthreadnewme11 · 28/03/2026 20:48

eatyourpizza · 28/03/2026 18:36

Do you know even that doesn’t work … that’s what makes me wonder if he CAN’T!

We used to have a toddler table and chair and he kept rocking on the chair and falling off and I realised it probably was too small for him, so the dining table is only in the last couple of months or so. But his teacher commented on his poor core strength at parents evening as well.

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Do s he actually have poor core strength or is he just seeking physical stimulation by lolling around ?

Whaleofatim · 28/03/2026 20:59

Mine is like this. Rocked herself out of her high chair several times. She has ADHD and I don’t mind if she stands/walks about while eating. Don’t get all the fuss about sitting at tables. Didn’t enjoy it myself as a child.Some people need to move about a lot- especially little kids.

edit to add - really don’t think punishing by taking away food will change anything and will just make you feel worse OP.

Sitstillllll · 28/03/2026 21:02

SillyQuail · 28/03/2026 18:13

My 5yo does this and I typically just remind him in a kind/pleasant tone about how I expect him to sit and why (because it's safer to eat sitting upright/ so you don't drop your food in the floor/so your clothes stay clean). It probably helps that I have the same 'rules' for my 3yo so I'm not singling him out (although honestly the 3yo doesn't loll about as much!). I frame it as "this is how we all sit to eat" rather than "you're doing something wrong" and since I give sensible reasons he usually accepts it (and forgets again 5 minutes later).

I try something similar to this with my almost 5yo and almost 3yo. Like @SillyQuail, I’ve found that trying to frame things in a positive tone helps more than nagging, even though I often feel like barking “botttttom”. My 2yo is also much better in general…

Another thing that works sitting right next to him and engaging him - he’s much worse when drawn into messing around with siblings which is less likely if I’m wedged between them. It’s good to make me focus on them at mealtimes rather than trying to tidy or wash up whilst they eat! Laser focus improves things.

snickersnackers · 28/03/2026 21:09

DS has poor core strength and falls off chairs, he has dyspraxia.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 28/03/2026 21:24

When mine is doing this he either needs to go to the toilet or sit on the step for a couple mins to calm down.

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