Teenager gone wild

[teenagedirtbag1990]

My son has a GF year 7 - since this GF has lost 3 stone from September to today!
doctors all bloods ok but is now anemic and vita D deficient!

he keeps coming home from
said GF upset like he wants to die as he wanted to sleep over at her house! We said no!
He is 12 and GF is 12 and parents were not home!

then he walked out of house - and said he needs to walk at 10pm and I called 10-20 times!
threaten calling police - found him with said GF at age 12 walking streets!

need some advise what do I do!
ring 111 option 2

how do I break them up?
do I speak to GF parents? Asking why she was walking around age12 in dark at 10pm
and why wasn’t parents in house?

At 12 he is a kid not a teenager.

Your username suggests the issues are not only with 12 year old girl’s family but also with yours… They are literally children, what is it thay makes them want to wander around the streets at 10pm rather than being safely at home.

Apologies i don’t have great advice but your son is a kid not a teenage dirt bag (as your username suggests). Start with that perhaps?..

What’s the weight loss got to do with anything ?

Are you saying the girlfriend was left alone in the house overnight ? That’s not on at 12.

You can’t break them up, you need to transition your relationship with your relationship with your son, from Child to Teen. If this continues, as he gets bigger, he will become harder to control. Tell him why you are worried, what the risks are, and listen to what he says.

On the bright side, at 12 they should split up soon

He walked out whilst we was in garden and we thought he was in bedroom?

my name has nothing to do with this.

Weight loss is only since this GF

Of course you speak with the parents. They are children.
Be much more knowing where DS is at all times.
Insist on rules and boundaries
No sleep overs with GF.
Follow up with dietition and Dr abhout weight loss!
Are they vaping?

Facilitate your DS keeping up with some of the other activities that he has always enjoyed. Sport, clubs, friends.
Have a very detailed discussion about sex and contraception.

Have his DF take DS out on adventurous outings and have DF teach DS life skills like yard maintenence, cooking, budgeting, getting a part time job, changing tyres etc.

So this is two issues really.

firstly he’s lost three stone since September. You mention the doctors so he’s had medical attention. Is he underweight? Three stone is quite a lot for a child if 12. Was he trying to lose weight or not?

the girlfriend. Tweens and teens love to annoy their parents. You won’t be able to break them up but sleepovers are obviously out of the question. Re the walking the streets, calling him 10 or 20 times after you have had a row is unlikely to be productive.

for what it’s worth I found the best way was inviting the gf over all the time. At this age relationships don’t last so they are likely to break up quite quickly and at least he’s at home.

Is English your usual language and are you in the UK?

We didn’t have a row he just walked out as GF called him! We was doing garden work when he walked out!

weight thing GP says just needs iron and vit D
there was no other concerns or others of support!
Gp done full bloods, weight height! Felt stomach!

it since the GF he stopped eating! When he started senior schools he was having lunch dinner every day!

Yeah I have invites the GF around a few times, she always says no

English is my second language

Ok, well if gp isn’t concerned about weight loss then I guess…

most of the population of the uk is vitamin D deficient. Comes of living somewhere grey and rainy.

if gp is saying no other concerns then just buy a multivitamin (you can get chewable nice tasting ones) and get him to take that each day.

I’m assuming that there aren’t any concerns about anorexia or similar. Is he extremely thin now?

If they're at the same school I'd talk to the school about it. Sounds like your son and his GF could do with someone looking out for them.

@teenagedirtbag1990 was your son previously overweight?
If so, was he bullied over it?
Was he carrying excess weight that he could lose without becoming underweight, or is he now clinically underweight?
Does he exercise a lot?
Does he seem anxious or agitated?
Is there a possibility he's taking any sort of stimulant drug that means he can't rest?
Is the weight loss through reduced intake alone?
Have his teachers expressed any concern for his wellbeing or performance in school?
Can you talk to the girlfriend's parents?

If I were you, I wouldn't try to force a break up at this stage. He could end up resenting you & he needs to know you're on his side so he wants to turn to you for support.

I'm surprised the GP isn't taking this more seriously, your boy sounds fixated on this relationship and very anxious.
If I was a doctor presented with unintentional 3 stone weight loss in a child I'd want to find out what was going on.
Did you explain the social circumstances to the GP in private?

This. I thought it was the GF who'd lost the weight and couldn't figure out how OP knew what the bloods results were. This was after initially think he'd had a Gluten Free year 7, and lost weight due to that. 🤣

OP have you actually tried to sit down and talk and tell him you're worried about him?

Are his lunches paid for by app? Or does he have cash?
If cash then what is he spending it on?
I know that I was guilty at 14 of not buying school lunches but buying cigarettes.

I have an almost 13 yo DS and luckily he is still very young for his age. No interest in girls yet and wouldn't leave the house without put permission

But I also have a tracking app on his phone that he doesn't know about.

I still think they are young enough at this age that you can still put your foot down quite firmly while explaining the risks to them and they may still heed your advice

Prior to this and his being with his GF, how was your relationship with him? Are you and he close?

OP what do you mean by girlfriend?
It is perfectly possible for young people at this age to have a variety of friends, both male and female.
If your son was chubby, can he just be having a growth spurt, it often happens around this age.

If you want to break them up then stop trying to break them up. Encourage the friendship. As soon as you try to break them up the more enticing the relationship becomes

If your DS is anaemic then he needs iron tablets