I'm really cross and upset with DH. He thinks I am overreacting.

[2point4kids]

DH's friend is getting married soon. He lives in another country and the wedding is there.
The wedding is the weekend before we go on our first ever family holiday.
DH asked me if I'd mind if he went. I said no, not at all. Even though it will mean me doing all the packing and preparations for our holiday myself whilst looking after the DSs and getting to the airport by myself in the middle of the night with kids plus luggage.
The official invitation came today and it invites ALL of us including the children.
I was pleasantly surprised. All the wedding invitations we have had this year have been no kids weddings and I had assumed this one was too (hence DH going alone). DH went to one only a few weeks ago while I stayed home with the children.
I rang DH at work and excitedly said 'Guess what? X's wedding invitation has just arrived and we are all invited! I didnt think I would be able to go, but now we might all be able to'
His response was 'well it was never a question of them not being invited, I just didnt think it would be practical'
He backtracked after I went mad at him and said that he didnt know the boys would be invited too, it just didnt really cross his mind to think about it.
He doesnt understand why I am upset about him going on his own when he did ask me if it would be ok.

The reason I am so upset is because he didnt TELL me that we were all invited and let us make the decision together. he just decided on his own that it wouldnt be 'practical' for us to go and then didnt pass on the fact that we were invited too!
He muttered something about it being more expensive blah blah blah, but that just winds me up even more. He goes out at least once a week. Has been to a weekend away for a wedding on his own this year and has 2 stag do's abroad planned this year while I am stuck at home. If we can afford all that then we can damn well afford for me to go away for one bloody weekend too.

yanbu. I'd be hurt and upset in your shoes. I think men just don't THINK sometimes. Obviously it would be easier for him to go on his own- for him!! Let's face it, it's soo much easier doing anything without the kids in tow! But that wasn't his decision to make- you should have been consulted imo.

Fllight, you have hit the nail on the head there.
He has been apologising and I do genuinely believe that he didnt do anything underhand or on purpose. He just really didnt even think that I might like to go or that it might be nice for us all to have a weekend together rather than him be off having fun and me stuck at home with the kids.

Collision - We can afford to do both I think. We are not loaded, but we would manage it just (If we cant afford to do both then he needs to cut back on some of his nights out. Its not fair if he is going out twice a week and having a weekend away a month and then saying we cant afford for me to go away too)

He didnt know that that the children had been invited, but he didnt think to ask.
So even though he didnt deliberately think 'it would be nicer to on my own' he didnt think either that 'it would be nice if we could all go, i'll check' and thats whats really upset me.
Lets face it, he has been chatting to the groom about what flights to get, where to stay and what airport etc etc.. the groom MUST have asked at some point 'is it just you coming then?' and he would have said yes.

I think you have a right to be upset. HE made the decision and it's clearly a decision that should have been made by both of you. He wasn't considering your feelings at all and that's unfair. He's damn lucky to have such an understanding wife because I know I'm not that understanding at all and my hubby rarely gets to escape the evil clutches of the children LOL!

All sorted

We had a massive ding dong when he got home last night. He knows he fucked up and he is really sorry.

He has looked into flights and an apartment for us all to go and has left it to me to make the final decision.

Plus he has arranged a babysitter and is taking me out for dinner tomorrow night. First time since my birthday 7 months ago