Manager crying?

[foxyrocks]

This is cutting a very long story short. But basically it’s been hell at work for maybe a year now. They put me on a PIP, which I tried my hardest, but they still failed me but they refused to do any check-ins or give me any updates on how I was doing. When they failed me, I said I wasn’t doing this anymore and it ended with them offering me money if I wanted to leave.

The alternative would have been an official appeal and placed on a further PIP if the appeal failed.

Today was my last day, manager walked me out and had tears in her eyes. Aibu to think this is bizarre behaviour when she clearly wanted me out?

Sorry to read this @foxyrocks
perhaps the decision wasn’t ultimately hers and it came from higher up?
id phone ACAS and get some advice

Maybe her hands were tied and she had no choice as it came from Upper management and she felt guilty?

or maybe she had really wanted a success story and your performance didn’t improve?

maybe she is now on a PIP as they didn’t do check ins with you?

who knows. Regardless, you’re better off out of there as it wasn’t improving for you or them.

Very often managers don't want to do the things they have to do and are under pressure from numerous angles. They are also human.

Because managers are human beings too.
It sounds like a high pressure workplace and that gets to everyone. Perhaps you direct manager wanted you to succeed but under such pressure that this just couldn't happen.

I have had to sack people before. On a human level, I felt absolutely fucking awful doing it - I don't take any pleasure in kicking people when they're down, and I might actually like someone very much as a person while simultaneously recognising that they aren't very good at their job.

The thing is, I wouldn't be very good at my job if I didn't do anything about poor performance. If I have to sack someone, it is because I've tried everything else and it hasn't worked. It's never personal or because I've decided that I don't like someone. It is just me doing my job. And yes, sometimes it can be emotionally very difficult to follow through on those really tough decisions.

She didn’t do any catch ups or check ins on the PIP despite me asking. So I would say that goes against what any manager should be doing.

She also used an example of me not being a team player as a way to fail me - the incident was she specifically assigned a task to a colleague (both she and colleague told me this at the time), colleague tried to give it to me, I said go and clear it with manager before handing it over. Colleague didn’t do that, she also didn’t do anything with it. But this was me not being a team player apparently.

So I would say she was very involved in using the PIP as a conduit to get me to go.

But that’s completely different.

There’s putting someone on a performance plan and helping them - and it still just not working out. And then there’s putting someone on a plan and doing literally nothing.

Look I’m a realistic and I’d say most PIPs are just documentation to satisfy legally you had the right to sack someone. But even those one need evidence the company tried to help - which I think is the reason they gave me a large cash sum.

My aibu is that she didn’t do anything to help me stay, so the upset at leaving is bizarre to me.

I think she should have offered you some catch up meetings while the PIP was ongoing.

It may well be that she doesn't consider you to be a team player, and that she was actively involved in the decision to let you go, but that doesn't mean that she wouldn't have found the situation upsetting or that she was devoid of any empathy.

Thank you x

It’s been horrible but it’s over and I’ve already signed the contract to leave and I’ve gone. I’ve also had contact with a solicitor who I appointed and they paid for.

im just happy to leave it behind me but I was just confused by her behaviour today.

I guess ultimately letting people go is upsetting for her really and she’s maybe under scrutiny healed for mishandling it all perhaps and maybe it just got a bit emotional for her?
draw a line under it and move on with your life; theyll be something better out there for you x

There’s no should, they have to show it was a fair process. You can’t stick someone on a PIP and not discuss it, not have check ins and then put in a last minute meeting and say “surprise you’ve failed!”

I don’t know what you mean about her being actively involved in letting me go? I made the decision to leave on my own terms. I could have stayed if I’d wanted to - sure they might have sacked me just weeks/months down the line but there was no decision to “let me go” I said I’m not doing this anymore, my mental health is worth more to me. Then they gave me £20K if I wanted to leave.

I agree that the employer should offer support during a PIP, and if that wasn't offered, then that might well be why they have offered you a settlement agreement.

Obviously, I can't comment on your personal situation. Perhaps your boss just couldn't be arsed. Perhaps she felt it was a waste of time because she had already tried everything before the formal PIP even started. Perhaps she was too busy. Perhaps there was some other reason why she didn't offer any help. I don't know, but none of those reasons are acceptable and you certainly should have had support.

All I'm saying is that I don't think it is necessarily surprising that someone would be upset about having to sack someone. It is a shitty thing to have to do, even when you know it is the only right thing to do.

She may have been upset about something else and this had just triggered it.

Sorry, perhaps my post wasn't clear. I was agreeing with you that they should have followed a fair process, and you should have been offered appropriate support.

As to the fact that you made the decision to leave - yes of course, that's right, and perhaps my post could have been phrased better, but given that they had failed your PIP, it sounded like they were building up to letting you go, that's what I was referring to.

Probably just a bad manager in a bad company that you are now well rid of with a pay off that hopefully will give you time to recover and make plans for a better future.
It sounds like you couldn't have won no matter what so try not to dwell and don't look back , know your worth .
I had a shit manager once who cried quite a few times to my knowledge ,didn't alter the fact that she was not a good manager and could have done so much better.

Did you ask? I’d have asked and checked they were ok? You don’t know what else is going on in their life.

also sorry for how you have been treated. I was made redundant from my career s long time ago, it really was awful.

I agree with all of this. But OP says they didn't do the check-ins. I thought that was legally required to be part of the process of PIP. Without them, she could have a case for appeal.

Her fuck up in not conducting the necessary actions during the PIP has just cost the company £20k plus costs. I doubt she is in a great position career wise at the moment which may to a certain extent explain the tears.

Or there could be a multitude if other things she's got going on at the moment.

Either way sounds like your best off out of it. Does it really matter in the long run.

Sounds like she's signed a compromise agreement so there won't be any ability to appeal anything.

Tears of relief the situation is resolved?

Well, yes, she probably could have appealed and they might have had to extend the PIP, but she accepted a settlement agreement so that option is no longer available now.

This is more likely. No company offers a settlement agreement unless there’s risk. So they know they didn’t treat you fairly and if you took them to tribunal you’d have a decent case. They’ve removed the risks by paying you. However it can’t have been an easy process for anyone especially as her managers will know she didn’t do her job properly which created the risk. Hopefully she learns from this or she may find herself performance managed in the future.

It’s not bizarre behaviour, as others have said, managers are human.

I’m surprised that the PIP process doesn’t involve any reviews, it certainly did in my company . You’re not being unreasonable to have expected more support.

I've had to dismiss people and it's not nice, someone can be an amazing person but just can't do/doesn't get the job. If she's not followed the process and that's resulted in you getting a payout she's probably done you a favour.

The worst ones for me were the IHRs people who were good at their jobs, who were made every adjustment for but at their health declined they just couldn't do it anymore, if they had a pension they'd get a decent payout but it was so sad to see people who wanted to work but were unable to any longer

It’s possible to manage you out but also feel sorry for you. Perhaps that’s why she appeared to be moved.