To not want any more friends......

[chitchatterbox]

I have a wide group of friends - old ones from school, via work, through the children and so on... probably no more than most I guess though. However,I made a huge effort when I gave up work to look after my dd and become a SAHM and I realised that all my friends were working all day and I didn't really know many SAHM's. Anyway, I went all out to get involved in all the school things and got to know tons of lovely people, quite a few of whom I now class as good friends. Then dd 2 came along and I went to NCT classes and to a postnatal group and met another 14 women and their partners and we now meeting up regularly. To be honest, I'm exhausted with all of the socialising that this involves..... I have a diary that is bursting to the seams and it probably sounds ungrateful (which I'm not) but I just feel I don't have any more time/energy etc for any more friends. I am now at the stage where my youngest is going to a new school and I do feel that I need to make an effort to be friendly to everyone etc but I'm worried that I'm just going to overload myself with people and really I don't think I can cope with any more. How do you get the balance? I try to keep people as just acquaintances but we keep getting invited everywhere (also the kids' diaries are even worse) and it seems rude to say no...... help please.

I know what you mean ccb.

I did this for a long time until it became a bind to have to go out.

I realised I'm actually quite a home-bird and spending an evening with my dh, chatting, watching TV, having a lazy bath was much more appealing than forcing myself out with people that came to bore me eventually and i had no interet in downing copious amounts of wine like some of the others.

I therefore decided to stop pleasing others and I've admitted to my now smaller group of friends that I'm now no longer good with evenings (various health problems mean I tire very easily and am in pain) so if i say no to an invite i do it without guilt.

I've shifted my socialising to coffee catch ups during the day and evening outings are now normally special occasions like birthdays, rather than just going out for the sake of it.

I think you should start thinking of what you want a bit more not worry so much about what others would think of you saying no.

Nope, no point taking on more than you can manage.

Glad you have so many friends, that sounds marvellous

Thank you.... I was trying not to sound ungrateful as I do realise that a lot of people don't have loads of people around them and would love them but sometimes I would just love a rest from it all!! Have just had 9 mums over for coffee this morning. Enough is enough!!!

YANBU, there#s only so much of a person to go around, but be careful if you decide to do anything about it, and it goes the other way, which is exactly the situation I'm in at the moment!

wow - you are very lucky

though appreciate it must be knackering!