What would you do in this situation?

[ThisArtfulOP]

I have a mum friend and children go to same nursery. Meet up a few times outside, always chatting on what's app.

I messaged to say HB to her child and was told that she's having a birthday party with X,y and z. So I asked if my child was invited - and it was no.

I was also told that Ive got an invite to a whole nursery party so I've got that instead.

Ainu?

So I asked if my child was invited - and it was no.

Yet …tells you they are having a party and you aren't invited. I didn't ask for that information.

I’m confused…

No, it's not weird to make conversation when someone messages to wish your child 'HB'.

Although I do hope you typed the actual words or that really is weird.

Not the amount of depth she went into.

It was also her child's birthday, not her birthday

Well you didn't message her child 🤷‍♂️

The poster you quoted seemed aware of that.

So why did you ask if your child was invited?

Such a non issue. The weirdest thing is thinking this is even an issue

Adults discuss the things they’re doing because, I assume, they’re not expecting the person they’re talking with to be jealous of it. I frequently talk to friends about the plans I have with my DC. Not once has anyone assumed they’re invited. Sorry OP, it’s not weird, you’re being unreasonable.

She’s not having a party, is she? Her child is, and your child is invited, along with everyone else in their class.

Besides that, he’s having a little get together with a few of his close friends as a separate thing from the class party, and she obviously believed that sharing that with you wouldn’t result in you being butt hurt and having fomo on your child’s behalf, given that you’re both adults and they’re in nursery school!

Just because you’re friendly with a particular parent, you can’t assume that automatically makes your kids best mates - it doesn’t. He won’t be invited to everything, and there’ll be times as he gets older when that might feel quite difficult and hurtful, but it’s part of life and a normal part of growing up. Unless you’re able to adjust your own expectations and emotions, you’re not going to be very well equipped to help him navigate that.

If she'd not have mentioned the party and you'd found out, you'd probably be posting now about why a grown adult would hide it from you.
The conversation probably felt awkward because you made a faux pas in asking if your child was invited to the small party. When really if you're invited to things you know because the person asks you already.

Why did you ask her if your child was invited? If they were, then she already would have. So your question is awkward. The mother was probably just sharing her child's birthday plans and obviously didn't expect an adult to take offence to it. And your child is invited to one of the parties anyway- so again, why are you so bothered about who she invites to the other parties?

But you said you asked her if your child was invited. I don’t see the issue.

You: Happy Birthday to X
Her: thanks! He’s having a party with Y and Z.
You: is my child invited?
Her: no, your child is invited to the class party.

I imagine from your post that’s how it went? I mean seems perfectly straightforward.