How much to give in this situation ?

[Namethatbauble]

Close female relative, I am Maid of Honour, all my DC have active wedding roles . They have asked for cash on the day. I have no clue what’s acceptable? The wedding so far has cost me over £1200 and I don’t want to look mean but I’m not a millionaire either….

I gave my best friend in that situation 400 euros

cash on the day

£50/£100

£20.

What have you spent £1200 for the wedding on?

Honestly, whatever you can safely afford. Only on Mumsnet have I seen such strict rules about covering your plate, £100 pp etc. When we got married a few years ago amounts ranged from £10 - £150, we were just grateful that people were happy to give us anything

What on earth has cost £1200???

What have you spent £1200 on?

If it is dresses etc, you do not need to give a gift as well.

@MikeRafone Hen do, Stag do for male household residents, bridesmaid dresses, alterations and shoes for me and DC, suits for DC, hair and make up on the day for bridesmaid and me. I’m happy to do all of this.

I think traditional etiquette is maid of honour doesn't do a gift, as they are not a guest?

Usually the bride and groom pay for the outfits of people in the wedding party if they’re expected to wear something specific - and the hair and make up. Unless they’re not expecting you to get professional hair and make up but you just fancy it anyway in which case honestly fair enough. On the basis you have spent so much already I would say it’s totally fine to give a smaller contribution than you might do otherwise.

Seeing as you have paid for dresses etc yourself, I would give max £100.

If you’re part of the wedding sporty the couple should be paying dresses and hair , it’s their choice you look a certain way then they pay.

If I’d had to pay for my own dress, makeup and alterations I don’t think I’d be giving any more than £50.

@TalkToTheHand123seriously?

You’re funding her wedding.with bridesmaid dresses, hair & make up. So I’d go for £50 as you’ve been generous enough already contributing to the wedding cost

Given you’ve paid for bridesmaid outfits etc already i’d give £100 max. I gave my brother £100 for his 2nd wedding; and had a small personalised gift made. Did cost me a bit as it was overseas (as bride is from that country and her mother too sick to travel).

£100-200 mark seems fair

I think it’s strange you have to pay for the clothes, alterations and shoes if you’re in the bridal party. You’ve already gifted her 1200 by doing that. I would just give a very small token gift. Not money as you’ve already gifted so much.

She should have paid for your dresses.
If you want to keep the piece give her £50 in a card.